Man…2019 has been chock full of disappointment. First, True Detective let me down with that ho-hum season finale (sorry, Mahershala). Then, the Russo brothers hurt my feelings with Avengers: Endgame (please don’t get me started on that one). However, when the eighth season of Game of Thrones premiered last month, I was certain that it’d be stellar just like the previous six (season seven was aiight). Unfortunately, the best way to describe season eight would be the GIF below:
I know what you’re thinking: “How can you compare this last season to a dumpster fire when you yourself posted articles about what blew your mind in the first two episodes (click here and here for those posts)?” I’ll be happy to answer that question: the first three episodes of the show weren’t that bad. The Battle of Winterfell episode was the best one in the season, hands down (although it too had its flaws). However, the next three episodes were trash, and when you have a season with a six episode arc that includes two that were just okay, another that was excellent, and three that were sorry, it’s safe to say that the series as a whole was hot garbage. I’ll explain further. Sit tight. Oh, yeah…there’s spoilers.
WARNING: ONCE AGAIN, THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR SEASON EIGHT OF GAME OF THRONES. IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST SEASON YET, I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU DO NOT READ THE REST OF THIS POST!
YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.
Crappin’ On Dany’s Character Arc
I’ll start with the thing that irritated me most about season eight, and it was what the writers decided to do with Daenerys’s character. For seven and a half seasons, Dany was the queen of the people. Yes, she had some violent tendencies and she was ruthless when she had to be (for the most part—burning the Tarly men alive in season seven may have been a touch much), but when all was said and done she was a good person that looked out for the little guy. As a matter of fact, when she was ruthless and showed violence, it was usually when she was seeking retaliation for injustices done to the little guy. Then all of a sudden, out of the doggone blue, in the span of two friggin’ episodes, she decides to lay waste to innocent men, women and children? I call bullshit!
There’s some people out there that say that they’re not irritated about Dany becoming the mad queen, but they’re actually upset that the development was rushed. I have to say that I’m PO’ed that the writers decided to make her a villain and because her change in character happened faster than the speed of light. Dany may have been prone to rushed judgement and violence, and her father may have been The Mad King, but why couldn’t she continue to be good? Why couldn’t she prove her naysayers wrong and keep fighting for the common people? And why did Dany go from fighting for humanity in episode three to burning people alive in episode five? Yeah, she lost her two best friends and one of her dragons back to back, but I refuse to believe Dany would throw everything she believed in out the window that damn fast, even in the face of all that heartache and tragedy. Even though Missandei’s last word was “dracarys” before Cersei’s ratchet ass had her beheaded, I’m sure the former meant for Dany to burn the latter’s no good ass, not mothers and babies. Miss me with that nonsense. If I had known then what I know now, I would’ve been rooting for Dany to keep her ass in Meereen with Daario Naharis.
Bran the Broken, King of the Six Kingdoms (Huh?)
Now on to the second most annoying aspect of this Godforsaken season. After all the wars that were waged, all the plotting and scheming, and after all the powerful and more memorable characters made their mark on the show, Brandon Stark—now known as Bran the Broken—is voted King of the Six Kingdoms. Seriously? Don’t get me wrong, Bran was not my least favorite character. To be honest though, he wasn’t my favorite, either. I liked him a lot better when he was an actual human being with supernatural abilities. However, once he became the Three Eyed Raven and evolved into an emotionless Vulcan, his scenes have just irked me to no end.
That’s the reason I believe Bran would be a suck king; he’s a hollow shell of a young man. Good leaders empathize with their subjects in order to improve the standards of the world they live in. Empathy waved bye-bye to Bran after Hodor died, as did any type of zest or compassion, for that matter. Like my boy Jeremy Jahns said during his season eight review, do you honestly believe Bran would have any type of compassion for anyone that needs protection against someone seeking to wage war against the fomer’s house/family? I highly doubt it. I’ll give D&D this much, choosing Bran to win the game of thrones was definitely unexpected. Was it the best choice, though? Hell, no. They would’ve done better with Hot Pie taking the throne.
Flushing Jaime’s Character Development Down the Toilet
Jaime was another Game of Thrones character whose development was mangled all to hell this season. When we were first introduced to Jaime, he was a complete dick. He was screwing his sister, pushed a 10 yr. old kid out of a window, strangled his cousin to death, and made it his business to fight Ned Stark in the street. His only redeeming quality was that he was the sole member of the Lannister family that showed Tyrion unconditional and unwavering love. However, after Jaime lost his hand and became close to Brienne, he began to form some sort of humanity, and he eventually saw Cersei for the ratchet ass woman she was and left her.
In season eight, we had the chance to see Jaime make up for all the wrong he did, and possibly start a new life with Brienne, a woman that truly loved him (and wasn’t his kin). And what did we get? We got Jaime dumping Brienne like a bad habit and crawling back to Cersei like a damn simp. WTF? What’s worse is due to Jaime being a simp, we were cheated out of witnessing Cersei die alone and disgraced like she dammit deserved. Lord, have mercy.
Tyrion Kept Mookin’ Up
Tyrion was always my all-time favorite character in this series, because although he was constantly looked down upon, his confidence and wit never faltered, and he was the most intelligent man in Westeros. I especially loved how Tyrion always managed to outwit his foes during season two. However, all that changed after Tyrion offed Tywin. Murdering his father seemed to take a bit of pep out of Tyrion’s step. In seasons six and seven, Tyrion started making some missteps, but quickly corrected them. But this season, Tyrion made mistake…after mistake…after mistake.
First he trusted Cersei to assist with the war against the White Walkers just because her ratchet ass was knocked up. Boy, you knew better than that. Then he refused to listen to Varys when he mentioned that Dany’s mental state was troublesome. That was his biggest doggone mistake. I don’t know; it’s possible Tyrion was doing the same thing I was…trying to convince himself that Dany wasn’t rapidly becoming The Mad Queen. After all, she wouldn’t go from being sane to a complete nut in a few weeks time, am I right? The other maddening faux pas Tyrion committed was snitching on Varys after the latter mentioned that Jon he’d make a better ruler than Dany. Needless to say, Tyrion regretted that later. Lastly, Tyrion continued to hold onto hope that Dany wouldn’t burn the residents of King’s Landing and only focus her attention on Cersei, although every sign pointed to her doing the exact opposite.
What gets me about Tyrion is that it seems he became less cynical and more trusting of people after his own father and sister tried to have him executed for a crime he didn’t commit. That makes absolutely no sense to me. Like I said earlier, this irritating change in character started in season six, but season eight just brought it to the extreme. Once again, I hoped that Dany would prove all her naysayers wrong and not incinerate the whole damn city too, but I’m not the Hand of the Queen.
Storylines That Went Nowhere
Another thing that I loathed about season eight of Game of Thrones was the fact that it ended with storylines that either failed to launch or became stagnant. For example, if Jon wasn’t meant to be the prince that was promised, why did the Lord of Light have Melisandre bring him back? Why did we have to have the big R+L=J reveal if Jon didn’t even have control of the Iron Throne for two seconds? What the hell was the point? Back in season six, there was a red priestess like Melisandre in Meereen named Kinvara that was a staunch supporter of Daenerys. She swore up and down that Dany was the Queen that was promised, just like Melisandre swore up and down that Stannis was the jackass—I mean, prince—that was promised (and later Jon). It would’ve been nice to see what she would’ve thought of Dany burning King’s Landing to a crisp and being Queen of the Ashes for a full hour. What ever happened to Daario Naharis? What’ll happen with Meereen and the Bay of Dragons (formerly Slaver’s Bay) now that Dany is gone? Oh yeah, did Gilly have a boy or a girl?
Also, they really missed a grand opportunity for Euron’s dumb ass to confront Cersei about the true father of her child. Euron was under the impression that Cersei only broke the news to him after their one night together, but Tyrion already knew about the baby when they tried to form a truce outside of the King’s Landing gate. Ol’ boy should’ve put two and two together and spoke on it, but that would mean that he’d have a modicum of sense.
The Series Should’ve Ended With the Great War
The Battle of Winterfell was one of—if not the—best thing in this otherwise shitty season. However, it should have taken place at the end of the series, not midway through. For years, the theme of the show has been, “Winter is coming.” All this time, the White Walkers have posed the biggest threat against the majority of the characters on the show, namely those in the North. Although the show is entitled Game of Thrones, the Night King’s campaign of bringing back the darkness shows that everyone’s political squabbles are just worthless when all is said and done. What matters is life, humanity, and trying to preserve it. The Great War should’ve been the series finale, especially given the fact that Cersei’s dumbass was treating the whole thing like a joke and went behind the Dragon Crew’s back to betray them. The Night King should’ve marched his ass straight to King’s Landing and took her out. And speaking of Cersei…
Cersei’s End Was Unsatisfying
Cersei Lannister was one of the most evil characters in Game of Thrones. I knew that when all was said and done, she’d eventually meet her end, and I hoped with all my being that she would die slowly and painfully. I mean, there were so many delightful ways she could’ve been snuffed out: Jaime or Tyrion could’ve killed her (as prophesied); as I previously mentioned, the Night King and his wights could’ve arrived to King’s Landing and torn her to pieces, or Dany could’ve just rode Drogon to the Red Keep and fried her like a piece of bacon. But noooooo! Queen Cersei succumbed to rubble from the Red Keep entombing her, all while in the arms of the man she loved…her freakin’ brother. Gross. It really would’ve been cool if she got crushed to death by an elephant instead.
Jon Gets Shitted On…Again
When Jon was named King in the North, I was so happy. I felt like he was finally getting his just due, after enduring years of hell and ill treatment. Lord, was I wrong. After Jon was forced to kill the woman he loved/his auntie, he was imprisoned and sentenced to live the rest of his life at The Wall…again. That sentence was carried out by his own brother, King Bran, who couldn’t even give Jon a hug goodbye when he left. Slightly off topic, how did anyone know Jon killed Dany? Drogon flew off with the body. He must’ve fessed up to Grey Worm. Ahh, that good ‘ol Stark honor system. It’s done wonders for the family. Also, exactly what purpose does The Wall serve now? The White Walkers and the Night King are dead, the Wildlings made peace with most of the folks south of The Wall, and there’s a big ass wide open space on one side of it that’s big enough for a dragon to literally fly through (y’all ain’t gonna tell me that damn hole got fixed that fast). What’s the point?
Jon must’ve thought the purpose of The Wall was useless as all hell now too, because he left with the Wildlings, presumably to be their king. I’m not crazy about that ending. I know in the end, Jon is still a king, and he was happiest with the Wildlings, but the ending just doesn’t sit that well with me. (AVENGERS: ENDGAME SPOILER AHEAD!!!) It’s like when Captain America went back in time, lived out his life with Peggy, and returned to the present day a hot old grandpa. Yeah, living with the woman he loved made him happy, but I preferred to see young Cap kickin’ ass with the rest of the crew. In this case, I preferred Jon to be King of either the Iron Throne or the North, because he deserves to be true nobility, doggone it.
The Season Rushed Faster Than Jackie Joyner-Kersee
Despite the fact that the majority of the episodes this season were the length of a feature film, season eight was rushed as hell! Bam! The White Walkers are close to Winterfell. Bam! The White Walkers descend on Winterfell. Bam! The battle between the White Walkers is over. Bam! The Dragon Crew prepares to strike against Cersei. Bam! Euron gets to them first. Do y’all see where I’m going with this? The days of intricate detail and fleshed out story points are over. Welcome to Game of Thrones, fast food style.
The Starbucks Cup
I ain’t even gonna lie, I didn’t even notice this travesty of a film flub until all the media outlets pointed it out the next day. I’m really just being petty at this point. 😃
I will say that this film flub proves that D&D not only rushed through the storyline, but they must’ve had the editors rush through compiling the scenes together if they let this bad boy slip through. This faux pax has since been digitally removed from the episode.
Was There Anything I Did Like About This Season?
There were some good things that occurred in season eight, believe it or not. The Battle of Winterfell (although it was a bit hard to see thanks to it being so dark), seeing a vulnerable Brienne, the epic shot of Dany appearing to sprout dragon wings, Jon and Arya finally reuniting, the entire repast/party scene after the battle, those were some things I enjoyed. I also liked that Arya and Gendry hooked up, although I wish they had toned down the scene…a lot. Sansa being crowned Queen in the North is cool, but I wish Jon could’ve kept his title. Just sayin’. Arya sailing to the land that’s west of Westeros (America!) was nice to see as well. I was hoping Gendry would pop up on deck next to her, watching Westeros fade into the horizon, but Arya ain’t the sail off in the sunset type. One of my favorite scenes was Drogon melting the Iron Throne after Dany died. Not only was the scene visually stunning, but it was interesting to see that Drogon knew the true reason for his mother’s death, and it wasn’t the knife Jon plunged in her heart. I know I may be in the minority, but I also like that Arya killed the Night King, although it was completely inexplicable and infeasible how she managed to get past the other White Walkers.
Sadly enough, Game of Thrones’s eighth season had way too many crappy scenes and plot points that offset the good stuff. Some of it I didn’t even bother to mention (this post is lengthy enough) like Cleganebowl being anti-climatic (and that wack ending to the fight burned me up. Pun intended), losing Theon and Jorah, Missandei’s death and Grey Worm’s subsequent villainous turn, Jaime and Arya’s “hit and quit it” routines, Melisandre dying after she removes her necklace, although the last time she took her necklace, she was alright (just old as Methuselah), the Westerosi north behaving like the American South, and so on and so forth.
*Sigh* This last season of Game of Thrones disgusted me. Just like the running joke around the internet goes, “Jon went north, Arya went west, Drogon went east, and the show went south.” Truer words have never been spoken. It’s just so sad, because this entire series was damn near perfect, but season eight was a complete let down; a pale shadow of the greatness that Game of Thrones once was. It basically crapped on everything that was established in the previous seasons and ended on a completely unfulfilling note, to boot. In conclusion…
GAME OF THRONES SEASON 8 WAS TRASH.
P.S. Sam Esmail, it’s all on you now. DO NOT disappoint me.
—Written by Nadiya
So what did you think about the final season of Game of Thrones? Was it trash or was it passable (ain’t no way in hell you thought it was flawless!)? If you liked it or disliked it, why? Let me know in the comments section!