Sorry I’m late to the party, y’all. Got a little busy with some spring cleaning yesterday (and I still have some to finish up). Well…let’s do this!
The Wall
The show always starts at The Wall this season, doesn’t it? Anyway, Sansa’s stitching something together when she gets a letter from someone, asking her to meet up in Mole’s Town. Sansa and Brienne get there, and see Littlefinger’s no good ass. Sansa goes in on him for selling her to Ramsay, telling him about the abuse she suffered at his hands. Littlefinger tries to convince Sansa that he’s still on her side (boy, bye), but she’s not tryin’ to hear it, and tells him that she never wants to see him again. She also rejects his help in taking the North (yeah, girl! I’m lovin’ Sansa this season). Before he leaves, Littlefinger lets her know that her great-uncle has taken control of Riverrun, and has the Tully forces behind him. They can possibly help her take back the North. Sansa tells him that she has her brother’s army, and Littlefinger can’t resist throwing shade at the fact that Jon’s her half-brother. God, he irks me.
Braavos
The Artist Formerly Known as Arya is sparring with that blonde heffa once again, and even though Arya has her sight back, the blonde heffa bests yet again…this time without the damn stick. I have to admit, even though I can’t stand that witch, the way she took Arya out is pretty badass. I found out that she’s known as “The Waif,” but I’m gonna keep calling her the blonde heffa. I like that name better. Anyway, the blonde heffa mocks Arya, saying that she’ll never be one of the Faceless Men, when Jaqen H’ghar shows up. He tells Arya the heffa has a point, due to the fact that the Faceless Men are usually slaves and what have you, not noblemen or noblewomen. He then gives Arya another assignment: to kill an actress.
Arya goes to the play that features the actress, and it turns out to be a production about Westeros, namely the Lannisters. Arya’s enjoying the play…until they feature Ned Stark as a complete idiot. Not only that, but they recreate Ned’s execution, and reveal to Arya that Sansa eventually married Tyrion. Keep in mind that Arya was with the Hound when Sansa was forced to marry Tyrion, so she had no idea that happened, and she doesn’t look too happy about it. Arya goes on to scope out the actress she’s assigned to kill, and she seems to be a nice lady. Arya goes back to tell Jaqen how she can poison the woman, and also tells him that the actress appears to be decent. Jaqen says that a price has been paid, and the execution will go on as scheduled. Well, damn! So much for the House of Black and White sojourning for truth and justice for all! Arya deduces that the younger actress that played Sansa put the hit out on the lady out of jealousy, and Jaqen warns her that a servant of the Many Faced God does not ask questions.
The Three Eyed Raven’s Cave
Bran wargs out and learns that Leaf’s people created the White Walkers (whaaatttt?). When he awakens, Leaf tells Bran that they created them to protect themselves against human beings that were cutting down their sacred trees and treating the Earth like shit. What is this, a homicidal version of Ferngully?
The Iron Islands (Land of Assholes)
The day of the Kingsmoot has arrived. It’s basically a political debate, and Yara gives her speech about how she’ll be a great queen. However, the chauvinistic assholes of the Iron Islands put her down and say that Theon should be king, since he’s the male heir of Balon Greyjoy. Theon speaks up for Yara just as he promised (oh yeah, and he got a haircut! He looks like how he did in the first three seasons!), and it looks like Yara has the Kingsmoot won. Then, Euron shows up. He goes on to make fun of Theon getting captured by Ramsay and Yara losing the castle she took hold of, and even throws a dick joke in there. Funny. Yara accuses Euron of killing Balon, and this fool doesn’t even deny it! Not only that, but the idiots of the Iron Islands don’t say a word about this fool killing the king! Euron goes on to make another damn dick joke at Theon’s expense, and says that he’ll take a fleet of ships to Meereen and unite with Dany to take over the seven kingdoms by marrying her (oh yeah, and he manages to throw in a third dick joke. Ha, ha.). Dany don’t want your ugly ass! Just like that, Euron is elected king. While going through his inauguration (which involves him nearly drowning), Yara, Theon and a few other Ironborn folks get the hell out of dodge. When Euron recovers (’cause you know, evil never dies!), he asks, “Where’s my niece and nephew? Let’s murder them!” And whaddya know? Half the damn island goes with Euron to murder Yara and Theon. This is why I can’t stand the Ironborn. When he and his flunkies go to look for them, they see that Yara and Theon’s crew not only left, but they took the best ships of the fleet. Euron makes his first decision as king, and demands everyone to cut down every tree they can find (what damn trees? All I ever see on those ugly ass islands are rocks and grey skies!) and have the women sew sails so they can build more ships and track them down. That’ll give them a six month head start against you, idiot.
Vaes Dothrak
Dany is speaking with Jorah and Daario in private, where she tells Jorah that although she’s banished him twice, he saved her life, so she can’t take him back or send him away. Jorah says that he must send her away because he has greyscale, and he shows her how much it’s spread up his arm. He finally admits that he loves her and walks away from her. Dany makes him stop, and commands him to find a cure for the greyscale and to come back to her when he’s well, as she needs him by her side when she takes the seven kingdoms. Dany then rides off with the Dothraki, while Jorah watches. That’s it. I expected more after last week. I will say that I liked Dany’s hair this episode.
Meereen
Tyrion, Varys, Missandei and Grey Worm have another political pow wow, where the discuss the lack of killings that have taken place since the agreement was made between Meereen and Slaver’s Bay. Varys is happy that a “fragile peace” has been made, but Tyrion says that it’s not enough. They need someone to let it be known that Dany is responsible for that peace. They have an audience with Kinvara, another priestess of the Lord of Light (Lord, have mercy). Kinvara sees Dany as the princess that was promised, just like Melisandre sees Jon as the prince that was promised (and before that, Stannis). I couldn’t help but notice that Kinvara has the same necklace that Melisandre does. I wonder if she turns into an old hag when she takes it off. Kinvara is more than happy to spread the word (and even mentions to have non-believers burned, much to Tyrion’s disagreement), but Varys shows that he doesn’t trust her, and compares her ramblings to Melisandre’s. Kinvara tells him that horrible things happen for a reason, and that Varys’ castration led to him being a great and powerful man. She even brings up the fact that a name was called out when Varys’ privates were thrown in the fire, and asks if he’d like to know the name that was called. For the first time in the history of the series, Varys looks shook. Kinvara tells him that if he’s Dany’s true friend, he has nothing to fear. Sure…
The Three Eyed Raven’s Cave…Once Again
Everyone in the cave is asleep, except for Bran, who’s clearly bored. He tries to wake The Three Eyed Raven up by throwing shit at him, but to no avail. So, to pass the time, he decides to warg on his own. When he does, he finds himself standing amongst an army full of wights. He walks past all of them, and comes across the king of the White Walkers himself, who looks right at Bran! Then, the other wights notice him, and the king shows up right behind Bran and grabs his arm. Bran wakes up screaming, awakening the others. The Three Eyed Raven knows that the king touched Bran, and sure enough, there’s a mark on Bran’s arm. Now that Bran has the mark, not only does the king know where he is, but he now has the ability to come inside the cave. The Three Eyed Raven tells Bran that they must leave, and that the time has come for Bran to become him. Bran asks him if he’s ready for that, and The Three Eyed Raven answers, “No.” Way to go, Bran. Suddenly, Bran wargs out again.
Back to The Wall!
Jon and the others are preparing strategy to take Winterfell. At first it seems hopeless, but Jon thinks of houses that will help, and Sansa tells them about her uncle reinforcing the Tully’s troops (although she says that she learned that info from a raven that Ramsay received). Sansa tasks Brienne with going to Riverrun to ask for her uncle’s help, but Brienne doesn’t like the idea of leaving Sansa alone with Ser Davos, Melisandre or Tormund (aka “that Wildling fellow with the beard!” Ha, ha!). Sansa insists that Jon will keep her safe. Brienne asks if that’s the case, why did Sansa lie about how she found out about her uncle’s army? Sansa doesn’t give an answer. Later, Sansa gives Jon a present; a fur coat with her father’s sigil imprinted on the leather strap. That’s what she was stitching earlier. Jon thanks her for the present (another touching moment…aww!), and he says goodbye to Edd. When they ride off, Edd is officially made the acting Lord Commander (“Shall we close the gate, Lord Commander?” “I’m not the Lord— Oh. Yeah, close the bloody gate.”).
Shit Just Got Real… (The Three Eyed Raven’s Cave)
Meera is getting their things together, and telling Hodor how much she can’t wait to leave the cave and eat some good food. Hodor agrees as only he can. She senses something is amiss and goes outside. Sure enough, the wight army is there, with the King of the White Walkers. Yikes. Those mofo’s didn’t waste any time, did they? Leaf tells Meera to get Bran and run, and tries to hold them off as best she can using supernatural grenades. The wight army and the White Walkers just walk right through that crap. Meera tries to wake Bran up, but she can’t. Bran’s dreaming of Winterfell once again, with Young Ned, Lyanna and Wylis (Hodor). The Three Eyed Raven is with him. Back in the cave, poor Hodor is scared out of his mind, and cowering. Meera begs him to help her put Bran on the cart, but he’s too frightened to even move. The wights make their way in the cave, and Meera has to fight them off. Bran still won’t wake up. Meera shakes him and tells him that they need Hodor and he has to warg into him. The Three Eyed Raven tells Bran to listen to her, and he wargs into Hodor. Hodor grabs the cart and pulls Bran away. Meera and Leaf’s people continue to fight the White Walkers and the wights, and Meera succeeds in killing one of the White Walkers. Summer the direwolf goes after the wights to protect her master and gets killed. Damn, that basically means that Ghost and Nymeria are the only ones left! As the others run off, the king enters the cave and prepares to kill The Three Eyed Raven. In the dream, he tells Bran that the time has come and he must leave him. The king kills him in the cave, and the Three Eyed Raven’s image in the dream disintegrates. The wights catch up with the others, and Leaf sacrifices herself by allowing the wights to attack her before she blows them up with one of her grenades. They reach the door at the back of the cave, and Hodor pushes it open. Meera takes Bran and runs off saying, “Hold the door!” In the dream, Wylis hears this and wargs out, having a seizure. At the cave, Hodor holds the door shut as the wights try to break their way through. Back in the dream, everyone sees Wylis having a seizure and runs to his aid. All he can manage to say is, “Hold the door! Hold the door!” Then it becomes slurred: “Holddadoor, holddadoor!” Then it’s shortened to, “Holdoor! Holdoor!” Then eventually, the phrase becomes, “Hodor…hodor…hodor…” All Bran can do is watch in horror, knowing that he’s responsible for Hodor becoming Hodor. Meanwhile, Hodor holds the door as Meera and Bran vanish into the blizzard, and the wights tear him apart. *Sob* RIP Hodor.
This was a great episode, although I was bit disappointed with Dany’s arc. Next week’s preview shows that we’ll see a little bit more from her. I was so sad to see Hodor go. I have to say though, it was really interesting to learn how he actually became Hodor. This means that Bran warging into the past can effect the future. Arya’s storyline has me intrigued as well. Will she go along with killing the actress? Also, it’s clear she will never completely sever the ties she has with her family. Does the blonde heffa have a point about her never becoming one of the Faceless Men? And back to the acting troupe that Arya’s infiltrated, I’ve noticed that everybody and their mama on the internet is havin’ a fit about the young actor showing his junk. Personally, I don’t understand why. It’s not like full frontal male nudity has never been shown on “Game of Thrones” before. Back on subject, where are Yara and Theon going? Are they going to try to start an alliance with Dany themselves? That’ll be interesting to see as well. And how ’bout Sansa? I love the way that child has grown up and gotten tough this season! By the way, I just realized something…if I’m not mistaken, this is the only “Game of Thrones” episode that didn’t feature Kings Landing or the Lannisters (not counting Tyrion, since he’s “against” them now)! I have to say, the show was still enjoyable, nonetheless! Besides, they’ll be back next week to go against The High Sparrow. Stay tuned!
—Written by Nadiya
So what did you think about “The Door?” Did you cry at the end? Will you miss Hodor? Do you think Bran will ever wake up, or is he lost in his dream? Do you think Arya will truly be a Faceless Woman? Also, what did you think about that play? Are the Faceless Men people that kill for the greater good, or are they just cold blooded assassins? What about Sansa? How do you like her change in character? Do you think Tyrion asking the priestess for help was a good thing or a bad thing? Do you think Varys can trust her? How about Theon and Yara? Where do you think they’re going, or do you think they were just getting away from Euron’s crazy ass because they knew he’d kill them? Give me your thoughts!
Insights from a Southern Girl 