Okay, I know what I said earlier about losing HBO and Starz, and how I wouldn’t post any more recaps/reviews. However, I found a way to watch last night’s season finale of “Game of Thrones” (and I actually found a way to catch up on the other episodes, as well as the other episodes of “Outlander.” Don’t ask; it’s a long story, and we A LOT to talk about in this post). That doggone episode was too doggone epic to not post anything about it. So, instead of me giving my usual recap/review, I’m just going to go over the events that blew my mind and made me rethink my universe.
***WARNING: IF YOU HAVEN’T WATCHED “THE WINDS OF WINTER” SEASON SIX FINALE YET, I HIGHLY SUGGEST THAT YOU STAY AWAY FROM THIS POST, BECAUSE THERE’S SPOILERS HEREIN. YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.***
The Sept Is Gone (and the Septons, too) and the Tyrells Are No More (sort of)!
Okay, Cersei’s trial is coming up, and instead of facing The High Sparrow’s biased and arbitrary form of justice, she carries out a plan that a lot of folks have been theorizing for quite some time now. She learned about a cache of wildfire directly under the Sept thanks to her buddy Qyburn, had one of his “birds” empty a few of the crates near the supply and light some candles in a puddle of the stuff…and boom.
In one swoop, she took out nearly the entire Faith Militant, including Lancel, who was lured to the bottom of the Sept by one of the “birds” when the blast went off. The Tyrell family was also there, and got blasted to kingdom come. By the way, Margaery was the only one that had sense enough to know something was up when she noticed that Cersei and Tommen were absent from the trial, but those idiot minions wouldn’t allow her, her brother or anyone else to leave the building. Cersei also managed to take out Pycelle (in another location) by the hands of Qyburn’s “birds” and her uncle Kevan (he was in the Sept). She later exacted her revenge on Septa Unella, via The Mountain. And poor Tommen, who could only watch the 9/11 type destruction his mother caused, and knowing his wife was in that blast, promptly committed suicide. And all this was just in the first twenty minutes.
Winter Is Finally Here (and it only took five years!)!
While Sansa and Jon are discussing how they must trust each other and who should take over the Stark household, Sansa mentions that a raven came from the Citadel (I’m assuming that was from the nasty ass admissions director that didn’t believe Jon was the Lord Commander and the letter of recommendation he wrote for Sam was “irregular”)…a white raven. Sansa says that means that winter is actually here. Jon laughs and talks about how Ned always said it was coming. Well, it’s about doggone time! I wish winter was like that in real life. After six more measly months, we’ll all be shivering again (yes it gets cold in the south).
The Sand Snakes and Granny Tyrell Align…and They Have Extra Help!
Remember I said “The Tyrells Are No More (sort of)”? There’s one Tyrell left…Oleanna aka Granny Tyrell, and she’s pissed. Thanks to Cersei’s terrorist attack, the Tyrell name will now end with Oleanna. She wants revenge, and she goes to Dorne to get it. Despite the fact that Granny epically shut the younger Sand Snakes up, she and Ellaria still agree to team up, and they have another force aligning with them…
Hell yeah. It’s on now. I can’t stand the Sand Snakes, but I’m loving this new alliance.
Tyrion Is Appointed Hand of the Queen!
After Dany officially announces that she is indeed heading to Westeros in the near future and drops Daario Naharis like a bad habit, she and Tyrion have a heart to heart, where he tries to console her for dumping her lover, seeing as she had to leave him if she wants to be queen of the seven kingdoms (I can’t help but wonder if Daario got dumped so the writers could make the Dany/Yara thing happen). Dany’s inconsolable, especially since she just realized she never really loved Daario and had no emotion when she dumped him, but Tyrion tells her how he’s been a cynic all his life and never believed in anything…but he believes in her. That’s when Dany presents Tyrion with the pin she had especially made for him and officially declares him the Hand of the Queen. Tyrion responds in a way he never has before…
He kneels before her. Y’all know how much I love Tyrion, so it was really nice to see him finally being appreciated for the things he’s done (by the way, the war waged by the masters was wasn’t so much a fuck up by Tyrion, but more so of a double cross…although Grey Worm and Missandei warned him of said double cross…never mind). I’m also glad to see a genuine relationship forming between Dany and Tyrion now. I believe they’re becoming real friends, and not just political allies. *Squee*
Arya Kills Walder Frey’s Ratchet Ass (and smiles!)
Walder Frey is enjoying his delicious meat pie and a flirting with a handmaiden young enough to be his granddaughter. Then he wonders where his sons are. The maiden tells him his sons are right there with him. The old man’s confused, so the young lady shows him the slice of pie and tells him again, his sons are there. Frey takes the top crust off the pie, and sure enough, he finds the top of a finger (or a toe…I know the nail was green..ill…). Gross…but cool! I have to say, in the Shakespearean play Titus, the main character got revenge on a rival family by putting their evil sons in a pie. That was epic then, and it’s epic now! Then, the ultimate…the maiden takes off her mask to reveal that she’s none other than Arya Stark. She introduces herself to Frey and lets him know the last thing he’ll see is her smiling down on him as he dies. Then she slices his throat and smiles as he bleeds out. Valar morghulis, bitch.
The R+L=J Theory Is True! WTF!?!?
Long story short, Bran wargs out again, with his Three-Eyed Raven powers fully realized, thanks to his Uncle Benjen, and goes back in time to where he saw his father heading up to the Tower of Joy to save Lyanna. Lyanna has obviously just given birth, and she’s dying from excessive hemorrhage. She makes Ned promise to take care of her baby boy if and when she dies. Bran looks on as the midwife hands Ned the baby who opens his brown eyes…
And then we cut to this:
Holy shit. Now here’s why this has rocked my world…I always thought that the R+L=J theory was bogus and just something that the fans really wanted to see (like Tyrion actually being a Targaryen instead of a Lannister). There’s really only two reasons I felt like the theory wasn’t warranted, and one of my best friends (who’s also a big “Game of Thrones” fan) and I have discussed this at length. Reason one: Why didn’t Ned at the very least confide in Catelyn that Jon was actually his nephew? It doesn’t make sense for him to come home and introduce Jon as his bastard child and put the boy—and his own marriage—through all that stress and misery. Reason two (and this was the BIG reason): As most of y’all may remember, in season one, Ned learned that Robert Baratheon did not father any of his legitimate children when he read that family history book and saw that all the descendants of the Baratheon family had dark hair, not blond hair. In the “Game of Thrones” universe, genetics are pretty simple. The children—namely the males—take their father’s hair color. If Jon was a Targaryen, wouldn’t he have silver hair like Dany and Viserys, instead of dark hair like the rest of the Starks (except Sansa)? Despite what I think though, D&D and Mr. Martin proved that Jon is a Targaryen, and even though I have to reevaluate my life, I can’t wait to see the sparks that are gonna fly when Jon finally meets Dany (his auntie)!
Jon Stark is Declared the King in the North! Yaaaassss, Bitch!
Earlier in the show, Littlefinger told Sansa he wanted to sit on the Iron Throne and he wanted her by his side…then he made a pass at her by trying to kiss her, but Sansa rejected his ass and he ended up throwing a brick like Steph Curry at the NBA Finals. Soon after, all the Northerners gather for a pow wow, and Jon informs them that winter has arrived, and the White Walkers are coming. At first, no one wants to listen…until Lyanna Mormont reminds them how most of them punked out when House Stark needed them, and she publicly declares Jon King in the North. I’m starting to like her now. Everyone realizes she’s speaking truth and all of them declare Jon king. By the way, I love this exchange between Jon and Sansa while everyone’s pledging their allegiance:
These two are so cute (in a brother/sister type way, you nasty shippers!). While everyone’s cheering for Jon however, Sansa spots Littlefinger in a corner mean muggin’.
Why so pissed? Sexually frustrated? Mad ’cause a “bastard’s” been declared king (a bastard hatin’ on a bastard)? Or are you PO’ed because now that ugly ass throne is a little further out of your reach? And speaking of which…
Cersei Lannister Sits On the Iron Throne (Armageddon has arrived…)
Jaime returns from Riverrun just in time to see the disaster area that is now King’s Landing. He also comes back just in time to see Cersei’s coronation as the Queen of the Andals and the First Men and Protector of the Seven Kingdoms. He didn’t look too happy. Me personally, I nearly fainted.
And last, but damn sure not least…
Dany and Her Army FINALLY Sail to Westeros (and it only took five years!)
Theon is shown looking up at a flag on a ship. He’s standing next to Yara, who’s looking out at the horizon. Then we see another ship setting sail with Grey Worm and most of the Unsullied. Another ship is full of Dothraki Bloodriders and their horses (by the way, the Dothraki learned in a short period of time how to manage a ship!). There’s close to a thousand ships sailing in the ocean, all with dragons embroidered on the sails. Drogon, Viscerion and Rhaegal fly overheard. The dragons pass the leading ship, which contains Varys, Missandei, Tyrion…and Dany.
So Dany basically has the Unsullied, the Dothraki, most of the Ironborn, the Sand Snakes, Granny Tyrell, Tyrion and Vary’s sharp minds, the Second Sons on call (she left them in Meereen with Daario), Jorah Mormont’s eventual comeback, and three big ass dragons? Let’s not forget there’s a possibility the North might join in.
Cersei…you in danger, girl.
I don’t have to tell y’all, this entire season was asskickin’. From the Bastard Bowl, to The Hound coming back, to Jon’s resurrection, Dany’s epic war with the slave masters, Ramsay being turned into Alpo, to this game changing season finale (I have to say, this may be one of the best season finales in “Game of Thrones” history, in my humble opinion), I loved it all. I especially loved how the biggest outcasts in the show (Jon and Tyrion) are finally getting the respect and accolades they deserve. The only thing I hated in this episode was Margaery being killed and Tommen committing suicide, but all that’s going to lead to Cersei’s ultimate destruction, which’ll be be so delightful to see (even Jaime’s pissed at her now!). I have to say though, it looks as though everything’s come full circle with Jon becoming king, Tyrion becoming Hand of the Queen, Cersei ruling the Seven Kingdoms, Dany sailing to Westeros and winter finally arriving. That may very well mean that season seven will indeed be the last season. If it is…I’ll be sad to see the show go, but I know it’ll give us a final season we won’t forget!
—Written by Nadiya
So what did y’all think about “Winds of Winter”? Was it a great season finale, or was it disappointing? What blew your mind? Do you have something to add to the list? Give me your thoughts!