by Nadiya

“401 Unauthorized” – Recap and Review

What’s up, y’all?  I know y’all aren’t used to me doing Mr. Robot recaps/reviews, but considering that it’s one of my favorite shows now, I felt it was only fitting to give my two cents on this phenomenal series each week.  As usual, this review is late as all hell, but y’all know me.  Anyway, let’s do the damn thing!

Let Me Blow Your Mind

Angela on Retribution (Alt)

The premiere picks up where we left off in season three.  Angela’s asking Price about retribution against Whiterose, and he tells her to just accept that she was duped.  Angela ain’t havin’ it.  She continues to mention that she plans to expose Whiterose’s project, and although Price warns her to shut up, Angela refuses.  When she announces that she’s going to take down Whiterose with or without him, she stops dead in her tracks and stares ahead.

Angela's Last Look (Alt)

Price tells her that he’s been trying to protect her all this time, and begs her to take back what she said.  Angela repeats his famed line from season two, “You’re panicking right now.  Remove all emotion and you’ll do just fine.”  She takes a deep breath and lets it be known that she’s not running, and Price should just leave.  Price walks off, and as he does, he removes a wire from under his shirt.  Some Dark Army operatives approach Angela and shoot her in the back of the head, execution style!

Price and Dark Army (Alt)

THEY KILLED ANGELA!!!!  😱😱😱

Angela Shot (Alt)

Price goes back inside his house, visibly upset.  After smashing a vase in anger, he gets a call from Whiterose.  Miss Thang has the audacity to mention that Angela brought it on herself, but she praises Price for trying to talk some sense into her.  Price blames Whiterose (understandably), but Ms. Whiterose lets it be known that Price let Angela’s murder happen (facts).  Price cries and tells Whiterose that Angela was his daughter, and Miss Thang gives her condolences (fake) before hanging up.

Whiterose (Alt)

The female version of Grant tells Whiterose that Elliot’s shipping hack went through, and it should allow everything to be delivered to the Congo in two months.  Miss Thang Jr. also makes it known that Elliot is a “good for nothing wretch” that can’t be trusted.  Miss Thang Sr. assures her that after the goods are delivered to the Congo, Elliot’ll be dead.  Miss Thang Jr. still insists that Elliot should be kept on a short lease.  Whiterose agrees and orders her to “send Elliot a message.”  Do you two think that’ll make Elliot less dangerous…or more dangerous?

Silent Night, Holy S**t!!

Christmas in the City (Alt)

Two months have passed and it’s Christmas time in the city.  The hack has been undone, and the economy is booming.  Nobody’s even thinking about 5/9 anymore.  A local sleazy lawyer named Freddy Lomax is definitely enjoying his Christmas until he gets a package he didn’t expect.  The package contains a web video of him pleasuring himself to a girl that looks like she’s all of 13 yrs. old, and a burner phone.

Perv Lawyer (Alt)

The phone rings, and it’s none other than Mr. Robot, instructing Freddy to meet him at Grand Central Terminal with a flash drive, or else that video will be made public.  Mr. Robot makes sure to instruct Freddy to leave all his electronics there, and he manages to help him lose the Dark Army operatives that are right on his tail.  Mr. Robot leads him to a subway train where Elliot is sitting, watching all the surveillance cameras in the terminal.  Once Freddy makes it to him, Elliot completely takes over and orders Freddy to give him the flash drive.  Freddy threatens Elliot with a gun, but Elliot ain’t scurred, and tells him to sit his ass down and give him the drive.

Elliot on Subway 2 (Alt)

The drive contains information on the shell companies Whiterose and her people use to funnel money.  Elliot learns that the Dark Army houses their money with Cypress National Bank, and demands that Freddy gives him any info he has on the institution.  Freddy swears up and down he doesn’t know anything, but says a dude named John Garcin may have the information Elliot needs.

Before Elliot can squeeze anymore information out of Freddy, he sees the Dark Army guys closing in on them.  It turns out Freddy unintentionally brought something electronic with him:  his Bluetooth enabled ID card.  Elliot tells Freddy they have to split up and meet at another location.  They do, and when Elliot calls Freddy again to have him meet him at a nearby corner, Freddy wants Elliot to guarantee him that he can protect him from the Dark Army.  Elliot can’t do that.  Hell, Elliot can’t guarantee that he can protect himself from the Dark Army.  Freddy realizes he’s pretty much screwed, asks Elliot not to show the video to his wife and kids, and blows his brains out.

Freddy's Dead (Alt)

Tyrell Wellick, Chief Technology Officer

Tyrell Bored (Alt)

Tyrell, who is now the newly appointed CTO of E-Corp, walks to his office in a sort of daze as his assistant goes over his extremely busy schedule for the day.  By the time he’s in his office, she’s still going over his itinerary and Tyrell still has a look of complete boredom on his face.  She finally finishes, and she congratulates him on his promotion before she leaves.  She even adds that most folks consider him a hero for what he did.  Uh-huh.  Blowing up 71 buildings and killing thousands of people is real heroic.  Boooo.  Oh yeah, and how ’bout now that the hack has been undone and the economy is back on track, they’re crediting Tyrell with that shit!  Please.  Thank the skinny guy in the hoodie.

Dom is Disturbed

Dom Depressed (Alt)

Over in Teaneck, NJ, Dom is staying at her mother’s house, and she ain’t looking too good (once again, understandably).  It appears she’s been drinking, getting very little sleep, and listening to CD’s.  I guess she was scared the Dark Army would track her if she used an IPod.  Anyway, she’s dozing off when she hears a car door close.  She wakes up and sees a van parked outside the house and spots a man heading upstairs. She quickly marks down the license plate number and grabs a gun.  She follows the dude to her mother’s bedroom and gets the drop on him, only to find out he’s just a handyman.

Dom’s mother pops up, bubbly and blissfully clueless, telling Dom that the poor man just came over to renovate her master bath.  She goes on to tell Dom that she invited a nice girl named Janice for macaroni and gravy.  Macaroni and gravy!?  What the hell is the main dish?  What y’all gonna eat with the gravy?  Mashed potatoes or stuffing?

Back at Allsafe

Allsafe (Alt)

 

Elliot and Mr. Robot have now moved their operation to the abandoned Allsafe office, which looks like it’s been closed for 10 years as opposed to shutting down 6 months ago.  Mr. Robot is hard down checking out John Garcin’s social media accounts, while Elliot is putting together a board comprised of anything and everything associated with Whiterose and the Dark Army.

Elliot at Work (Alt)

Mr. Robot tells Elliot that it’s going to take forever to get something on Garcin, considering that his social media is chock full of nonsense, but Elliot insists on going straight to Garcin’s house, now that they have his address.  They don’t have time to break Garcin like they did Freddy.  By the following week, Whiterose’s project will be shipped to the Congo, and Elliot’s as good as dead.  Mr. Robot remarks that Freddy could’ve saved them some time if he didn’t off himself, and Elliot tells him Freddy had it coming, same as the rest of them.  This gives Mr. Robot pause, seeing as Elliot usually doesn’t talk like that.

Mr. Robot tells Elliot that he believes that he’s going after Whiterose for all the wrong reasons.  He’s not really interested in saving the world anymore; he wants revenge for what she did to Angela (what’s wrong with that?).  Elliot reminds Mr. Robot that if he doesn’t take Whiterose down now, things’ll just get worse for everyone.  While all this is going on, Darlene is blowing up Elliot’s phone.  Mr. Robot takes a look at it and sees that Darlene wants to talk to him about Angela.

Darlene’s Off the Deep End

Darlene Strung Out (Alt)

Darlene meets Elliot at his apartment and she’s looking a little worse for wear herself.  I’ll say this…in this episode, nobody’s doing good…except doggone Whiterose.  Anyway, Darlene’s clearly high and she starts going on and on about how she saw Angela near a homeless shelter.  Elliot’s basically like, “I can’t,” and lets Mr. Robot take over.  Mr. Robot tries to talk some sense into Darlene, but she’s not trying to hear it.  She saw Angela, and she can prove it.  Elliot can’t take it anymore and it takes back over, telling Darlene that Angela’s dead, and she’s obviously in the doggone stratosphere.  Darlene still refuses to listen, and that’s when Elliot gets a bit more forceful and backs her into the wall to bring his point home.  He tells Darlene to stop blaming herself, but she tells him she’s not the one that feels guilty for Angela’s death and leaves.

Mr. Robot asks Elliot why he didn’t just show Darlene the picture Whiterose sent him with Angela’s brains blown out (that was her and her assistant’s way of “reigning him in”…y’all got Elliot fucked up), but Elliot says that would’ve broken Darlene’s heart.  Of course, Darlene isn’t the only one that’s heartbroken.  Elliot drops the subject and starts getting ready to head to John Garcin’s apartment.  That’s when Mr. Robot decides to talk to us.  You read that correctly.

Mr. Robot and Elliot on Subway (Alt)

Mr. Robot points out that Elliot’s not doing well at all.  He’s not talking to us, and he doesn’t talk to him that much, either.  Ever since Angela died, he’s been shutting down, and trying to lose himself in his mission to take down Whiterose.  Mr. Robot says he’ll keep us in the loop since Elliot won’t, but make no mistake…he’s not doing it for us, because he doesn’t give a shit about us.  Well Mr. Robot, I don’t give a shit about yo’ funky ass, either!  I want my Elliot back, doggone it.

No Exit

Mr. Robot and Elliot in JG's Apartment (Alt)

Elliot and Mr. Robot arrive at John Garcin’s apartment building, and something feels really off.  First of all, E-Corp owns the building.  Mr. Robot points that out to Elliot, but the latter brushes it off.  Second of all, the building seems damn near empty.  Mr. Robot points that out too, but once again, Elliot doesn’t listen.  When they get to the apartment, the door is open and no one’s home.  Something really feels off now.  Elliot wants to look around and get something they can use against Garcin, seeing as they got in the apartment while he wasn’t home, but Mr. Robot wants to stick to the initial plan of grabbing the guy’s WiFi.  Elliot pays his advice no mind.

Elliot and Mr. Robot split up and look around (uh…how do they manage that, by the way?), and now something’s really feeling off about this place.  The picture frames have no real pictures, the closets don’t have any clothes, and the lamps still have the price tags on them.  When Mr. Robot tries to get out of the door, it’s locked from the outside.  The phone is dead, the window is bolted, and the cell phone signal is jammed.  Elliot grabs a copy of the play No Exit from a shelf and sees that one of the characters’ names was Joseph Garcin.  That’s when it hits home that they’ve been duped.  The apartment was a physical honeypot.  For those of y’all that don’t know what a honeypot is, it’s something used to lure hackers and trap them once they’ve tried to infiltrate the data.  In no time flat, some men in black arrive and literally drag Elliot out of the apartment, all while the song “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” plays and the doorman is finishing off a delicious bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

Elliot Gets Caught (Alt)

Dinner’s at Mrs. DiPierro’s

Dinner at Dom's Mom's House (Alt)

Back in Teaneck, Dom is uncomfortably sitting through dinner with her mom and her new friend Janice, all while Mrs. DiPierro relays embarrassing stories about hot nuns and the priests that secretly wanna get with them.  Dom’s mother then excuses herself and asks Dom to help Janice carry her plate of macaroni and gravy (I’m still trying to figure out what they ate with that) out to the car.

While they’re outside, Dom notices stuffed animals—actual stuffed damn animals—in the passenger seat of Janice’s car, and the latter tells her that she’s a taxidermist.  Okaaayyy…  Dom apologizes for the awkward dinner Janice had to endure, as it was an obvious set up.  Janice laughs it off, and tells Dom that her mother told her about her drinking and not sleeping at night.  She assures Dom that if she ever needs a friend, she’s there.  Dom excuses herself, saying she needs to get to bed, and Janice tells her that’s a good idea, considering that she has that interview about Santiago in the morning.

Creepy Janice (Alt)

Dom does a double take and asks Janice what she means.  Janice reiterates that Dom’s been putting off the meeting long enough, and if she continues to do, she’ll have to do something really bad to Mrs. DiPierro…like slit her from her mouth to her hoo-hah.  Dom threatens to strangle Janice to death if she hurts her mother.  Janice laughs this off too, and tells Dom that even if she does, it won’t stop the other operatives from coming for her.  That’s when Dom sees a bunch of white vans parked down the road.  You know what?  There’s some white vans parked outside of my apartment complex!  Oh, shit!  Pysch.  My new neighbor is a FedEx guy. 😂😂

Worst Party Ever

Sad Darlene (Alt)

It looks like Darlene is squatting at Angela’s apartment.  She’s thrown a party full of druggie idiots that are completely disrespecting Angela’s house, and spouting out theories about the world actually being flat.  *Eyeroll*  Meanwhile, Darlene is getting high off every drug known to man.  However, when she catches two nasty chicks going through Angela’s things in her bedroom, Darlene kicks their ratchet asses out and breaks the whole party up.  When they leave, she sees Angela’s ballet shoes lying on the floor (one the girls callously threw them to the side while going through Angela’s clothes).  She picks up the shoes and climbs on Angela’s bed, sobbing as she clutches them close to her heart. 😭😭😭

“Goodbye, Friend”

Elliot Captive (Alt)

The men in black that dragged Elliot away from “John Garcin’s” apartment are now holding him hostage at his place.  They’re holding him down, as a rather tall gentleman boils some heroin in a spoon.  Elliot asks if Whiterose is listening, and if she is, she has to know that if he dies, her project won’t be shipped to the Congo.  The tall gentleman isn’t swayed.

Elliot panics for a brief second when he notices the tall man inject a syringe to the now boiling water and extracts it.  He says he can’t go just yet…not after hurting so many people.  He has to make things right.  The man approaches Elliot, whose panic has now turned back to fury.  Elliot screams that his anger won’t die with him.  He knows all about Cypress National Bank, and Whiterose will pay for what she’s done.  The tall man still doesn’t respond.  He kneels down to give Elliot the hot dose, and we see that it’s none other than the master Sam Esmail himself!

Sam Esmail (Alt)

Sam only mutters one phrase, “Goodbye, friend.”  With that, he injects Elliot.  The men leave, and Elliot’s left alone, overdosing.  He tries to make it to the phone, but only succeeds in falling over to the floor.  Even when Elliot knocks it over with his foot, he still can’t get to it.  He looks over and sees Mr. Robot, his mother and his younger self, wondering what’s going to happen.  His mother says that they’re all going away, she just didn’t think it would be like this.  A tear falls down Elliot’s face as he thinks of better times.  Hanging out with his dad. Talking to Darlene.  Meeting Tyrell.  Leading fsociety.  Kissing Angela on the subway.  After that last thought, he exhales and passes away.

Elliot Almost Dies (Alt)

The credits roll.  The end.  😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

End Credit Fake Out (Alt)

Psych!

Elliot Revived (Alt)

 

Elliot’s still lying on the ground seemingly lifeless, when someone sprays something in his nose (Narcan, according to my friends on the Mr. Robot subreddit).

Elliot Awake (Alt)

Elliot immediately wakes up and sees the same men in black standing over him, including Mr. Esmail.  Just then, who should walk in but Phillip muthafuckin’ Price!

Price and His Minions (Alt)

Shit just got real.

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This episode was great, but Lord knows, I was so shell shocked after Angela got executed, I had to re-watch it two more times to get the full enjoyment of it.  It’s been nearly two years since a new episode of Mr. Robot aired on TV, and those jokers hit the bricks runnin’, did they not?

The entire time I watched this episode, I felt like something was off, though.  I finally realized what it was when Mr. Robot mentioned that Elliot wasn’t talking to us.  Things feel a lot different now that Elliot isn’t giving us his usual narration.  Plus, it’s a trip that Elliot and Mr. Robot seemed to have switched places.  Now Mr. Robot is the voice of reason, whereas Elliot is the one that’s reckless and going off emotion.  Another thing that felt off was the cinematography.  There were a lot of strange camera angles (stranger than usual) and shaky cam, namely during Darlene and Dom’s scenes.  I’m assuming it was to further show that nearly all the characters are in a bad place at the moment.

Speaking of Dom, I’m very interested to see how things are going to with Janice, the taxidermist.  I’m sure Dom is going to go against the Dark Army, and with Janice on her like white on rice (along with all the backup), she’s got her work cut out for her.

I’m still upset that Angela got killed.  She and Elliot belonged together, dammit!

Angela and Elliot

Not only that, she was one of my favorite characters and she was #3 on my Do Not Kill list (Elliot is first and Darlene is second).  Doggone it, if Elliot dies, we gon’ have a problem, Sam!

Speaking of Mr. Esmail, how ’bout that cameo?  That was pretty cool.  I can’t wait to see what Price has in store for Elliot.  We’ve had some theories bouncing around on Reddit (as you can see, I’ve become a Reddit fan).  Personally, I believe that Price is going to recruit Elliot to get revenge on Whiterose for killing his child.  If that’s the case, Elliot’s way ahead of you, boo.  Angela was his heart.  Whiterose done fucked up.

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On the next episode, Darlene and Elliot are going to team up, so you know it’s about to get wild (I just hope she cleans herself up before she collaborates with him).  This doggone season is gonna be a roller coaster, and I’m here for it!

I still can’t believe Angela’s dead, though.  😭

Donald Glover - My Emotions (Alt)

—Written by Nadiya

So what did you think of “401 Unauthorized”?  Were you upset that Angela got killed?  Do you think Elliot’s being too reckless?  What do you think about Darlene falling apart?  Do you feel bad for Tyrell now that he has the CTO position, but he’s clearly unhappy?  What about Dom?  Do you think she’ll go long with what the Dark Army wants now that she officially has a handler, or will she go against them?  What do you think Price wants with Elliot?  Also, do you miss Elliot narrating the show?  Let me know in the comments section!

 

 

by Nadiya

I’m Baaaack!

What’s poppin’, y’all?

I know what y’all are thinkin’:  “Where the hell has she been?”  “Why did she abandon us?”  I promise y’all, I have a good explanation for my four month absence.  Please allow me to elaborate.

In June, I didn’t have too much to say after reviewing the piece of shit that was the Game of Thrones final season, mainly because I was too busy getting ready to celebrate my 38th birthday (yeah, I’m getting up there, y’all).  You see, my mother planned a big trip to ATL to commemorate the occasion, so in early July, we traveled down there and had a blast.

Georgia Aquarium

When we got back home, I realized it was a minute since I posted anything on my blog, and I’d better hop to it with some topics.  However, I was unable to do so…because my computer stopped taking my password.  That combined with the fact that my cooling fan in my CPU unit wasn’t cooperating, for the first time since I bought it, my beloved PC was useless.

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I knew getting it fixed would cost me a little bit of change, and I had a lot a crap going on, so my computer stayed out of commission for the next few months.   Plus, I’m a bit old school, and although our cell phones are mini computers that fit in our pockets, I’m not 100% comfortable typing out whole articles and what have you on them.  I have a hard enough time texting thanks to the sensitive ass screen and the auto correct.  I was finally able to take it to the local repair shop on Sept. 30, and it was finally ready earlier this week.

I’m so sorry I had to be away from y’all so long without any new content.  But I’m back now, and better than ever.  So, let’s get this party started!

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—Written by Nadiya

by Nadiya

‘Game of Thrones’ Season 8: Why It Was Trash (SPOILERS!)

Man…2019 has been chock full of disappointment.  First, True Detective let me down with that ho-hum season finale (sorry, Mahershala).  Then, the Russo brothers hurt my feelings with Avengers:  Endgame (please don’t get me started on that one).   However, when the eighth season of Game of Thrones premiered last month, I was certain that it’d be stellar just like the previous six (season seven was aiight).  Unfortunately, the best way to describe season eight would be the GIF below:

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I know what you’re thinking:  “How can you compare this last season to a dumpster fire when you yourself posted articles about what blew your mind in the first two episodes (click here and here for those posts)?”   I’ll be happy to answer that question:  the first three episodes of the show weren’t that bad.  The Battle of Winterfell episode was the best one in the season, hands down (although it too had its flaws).  However, the next three episodes were trash, and when you have a season with a six episode arc that includes two that were just okay, another that was excellent, and three that were sorry, it’s safe to say that the series as a whole was hot garbage.  I’ll explain further.  Sit tight.  Oh, yeah…there’s spoilers.

WARNING:  ONCE AGAIN, THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR SEASON EIGHT OF GAME OF THRONES.  IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE LAST SEASON YET, I HIGHLY SUGGEST YOU DO NOT READ THE REST OF THIS POST!

YOU’VE BEEN WARNED.

Crappin’ On Dany’s Character Arc

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I’ll start with the thing that irritated me most about season eight, and it was what the writers decided to do with Daenerys’s character.  For seven and a half seasons, Dany was the queen of the people.  Yes, she had some violent tendencies and she was ruthless when she had to be (for the most part—burning the Tarly men alive in season seven may have been a touch much), but when all was said and done she was a good person that looked out for the little guy.  As a matter of fact, when she was ruthless and showed violence, it was usually when she was seeking retaliation for injustices done to the little guy.  Then all of a sudden, out of the doggone blue, in the span of two friggin’ episodes, she decides to lay waste to innocent men, women and children?  I call bullshit!

There’s some people out there that say that they’re not irritated about Dany becoming the mad queen, but they’re actually upset that the development was rushed.  I have to say that I’m PO’ed that the writers decided to make her a villain and because her change in character happened faster than the speed of light.  Dany may have been prone to rushed judgement and violence, and her father may have been The Mad King, but why couldn’t she continue to be good?  Why couldn’t she prove her naysayers wrong and keep fighting for the common people?  And why did Dany go from fighting for humanity in episode three to burning people alive in episode five?  Yeah, she lost her two best friends  and one of her dragons back to back, but I refuse to believe Dany would throw everything she believed in out the window that damn fast, even in the face of all that heartache and tragedy.   Even though Missandei’s last word was “dracarys” before Cersei’s ratchet ass had her beheaded, I’m sure the former meant for Dany to burn the latter’s no good ass, not mothers and babies.  Miss me with that nonsense.  If I had known then what I know now, I would’ve been rooting for Dany to keep her ass in Meereen with Daario Naharis.

Bran the Broken, King of the Six Kingdoms  (Huh?)

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Now on to the second most annoying aspect of this Godforsaken season.  After all the wars that were waged, all the plotting and scheming, and after all the powerful and more memorable characters made their mark on the show, Brandon Stark—now known as Bran the Broken—is voted King of the Six Kingdoms.  Seriously?  Don’t get me wrong, Bran was not my least favorite character.  To be honest though, he wasn’t my favorite, either.  I liked him a lot better when he was an actual human being with supernatural abilities.  However, once he became the Three Eyed Raven and evolved into an emotionless Vulcan, his scenes have just irked me to no end.

That’s the reason I believe Bran would be a suck king; he’s a hollow shell of a young man.  Good leaders empathize with their subjects in order to improve the standards of the world they live in.  Empathy waved bye-bye to Bran after Hodor died, as did any type of zest or compassion, for that matter.  Like my boy Jeremy Jahns said during his season eight review, do you honestly believe Bran would have any type of compassion for anyone that needs protection against someone seeking to wage war against the fomer’s house/family?  I highly doubt it.  I’ll give D&D this much, choosing Bran to win the game of thrones was definitely unexpected.  Was it the best choice, though?  Hell, no.  They would’ve done better with Hot Pie taking the throne.

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Flushing Jaime’s Character Development Down the Toilet

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Jaime was another Game of Thrones character whose development was mangled all to hell this season.  When we were first introduced to Jaime, he was a complete dick.  He was screwing his sister, pushed a 10 yr. old kid out of a window, strangled his cousin to death, and made it his business to fight Ned Stark in the street.  His only redeeming quality was that he was the sole member of the Lannister family that showed Tyrion unconditional and unwavering love.  However, after Jaime lost his hand and became close to Brienne, he began to form some sort of humanity, and he eventually saw Cersei for the ratchet ass woman she was and left her.

In season eight, we had the chance to see Jaime make up for all the wrong he did, and possibly start a new life with Brienne, a woman that truly loved him (and wasn’t his kin).  And what did we get?  We got Jaime dumping Brienne like a bad habit and crawling back to Cersei like a damn simp.   WTF?  What’s worse is due to Jaime being a simp, we were cheated out of witnessing Cersei die alone and disgraced like she dammit deserved.  Lord, have mercy.

Tyrion Kept Mookin’ Up

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Tyrion was always my all-time favorite character in this series, because although he was constantly looked down upon, his confidence and wit never faltered, and he was the most intelligent man in Westeros.  I especially loved how Tyrion always managed to outwit his foes during season two.  However, all that changed after Tyrion offed Tywin.  Murdering his father seemed to take a bit of pep out of Tyrion’s step.  In seasons six and seven, Tyrion started making some missteps, but quickly corrected them.  But this season, Tyrion made mistake…after mistake…after mistake.

First he trusted Cersei to assist with the war against the White Walkers just because her ratchet ass was knocked up.  Boy, you knew better than that.  Then he refused to listen to Varys when he mentioned that Dany’s mental state was troublesome.  That was his biggest doggone mistake.  I don’t know; it’s possible Tyrion was doing the same thing I was…trying to convince himself that Dany wasn’t rapidly becoming The Mad Queen.  After all, she wouldn’t go from being sane to a complete nut in a few weeks time, am I right?  The other maddening faux pas Tyrion committed was snitching on Varys after the latter mentioned that Jon he’d make a better ruler than Dany.  Needless to say, Tyrion regretted that later.  Lastly, Tyrion continued to hold onto hope that Dany wouldn’t burn the residents of King’s Landing and only focus her attention on Cersei, although every sign pointed to her doing the exact opposite.

What gets me about Tyrion is that it seems he became less cynical and more trusting of people after his own father and sister tried to have him executed for a crime he didn’t commit.  That makes absolutely no sense to me.  Like I said earlier, this irritating change in character started in season six, but season eight just brought it to the extreme.  Once again, I hoped that Dany would prove all her naysayers wrong and not incinerate the whole damn city too, but I’m not the Hand of the Queen.

Storylines That Went Nowhere

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Another thing that I loathed about season eight of Game of Thrones was the fact that it ended with storylines that either failed to launch or became stagnant.  For example, if Jon wasn’t meant to be the prince that was promised, why did the Lord of Light have Melisandre bring him back?  Why did we have to have the big R+L=J reveal if Jon didn’t even have control of the Iron Throne for two seconds?  What the hell was the point?  Back in season six, there was a red priestess like Melisandre in Meereen named Kinvara that was a staunch supporter of Daenerys.  She swore up and down that Dany was the Queen that was promised, just like Melisandre swore up and down that Stannis was the jackass—I mean, prince—that was promised (and later Jon).  It would’ve been nice to see what she would’ve thought of Dany burning King’s Landing to a crisp and being Queen of the Ashes for a full hour.  What ever happened to Daario Naharis?  What’ll happen with Meereen and the Bay of Dragons (formerly Slaver’s Bay) now that Dany is gone?  Oh yeah, did Gilly have a boy or a girl?

Also, they really missed a grand opportunity for Euron’s dumb ass to confront Cersei about the true father of her child.  Euron was under the impression that Cersei only broke the news to him after their one night together, but Tyrion already knew about the baby when they tried to form a truce outside of the King’s Landing gate.  Ol’ boy should’ve put two and two together and spoke on it, but that would mean that he’d have a modicum of sense.

The Series Should’ve Ended With the Great War

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The Battle of Winterfell was one of—if not the—best thing in this otherwise shitty season.  However, it should have taken place at the end of the series, not midway through.  For years, the theme of the show has been, “Winter is coming.”  All this time, the White Walkers have posed the biggest threat against the majority of the characters on the show, namely those in the North.  Although the show is entitled Game of Thrones, the Night King’s campaign of bringing back the darkness shows that everyone’s political squabbles are just worthless when all is said and done.  What matters is life, humanity, and trying to preserve it.  The Great War should’ve been the series finale, especially given the fact that Cersei’s dumbass was treating the whole thing like a joke and went behind the Dragon Crew’s back to betray them.  The Night King should’ve marched his ass straight to King’s Landing and took her out.  And speaking of Cersei…

Cersei’s End Was Unsatisfying

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Cersei Lannister was one of the most evil characters in Game of Thrones.  I knew that when all was said and done, she’d eventually meet her end, and I hoped with all my being that she would die slowly and painfully.  I mean, there were so many delightful ways she could’ve been snuffed out:  Jaime or Tyrion could’ve killed her (as prophesied); as I previously mentioned, the Night King and his wights could’ve arrived to King’s Landing and torn her to pieces, or Dany could’ve just rode Drogon to the Red Keep and fried her like a piece of bacon.  But noooooo!  Queen Cersei succumbed to rubble from the Red Keep entombing her, all while in the arms of the man she loved…her freakin’ brother.  Gross.  It really would’ve been cool if she got crushed to death by an elephant instead.

 Jon Gets Shitted On…Again

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When Jon was named King in the North, I was so happy.  I felt like he was finally getting his just due, after enduring years of hell and ill treatment.  Lord, was I wrong.  After Jon was forced to kill the woman he loved/his auntie, he was imprisoned and sentenced to live the rest of his life at The Wall…again.  That sentence was carried out by his own brother, King Bran, who couldn’t even give Jon a hug goodbye when he left.  Slightly off topic, how did anyone know Jon killed Dany?  Drogon flew off with the body.  He must’ve fessed up to Grey Worm.  Ahh, that good ‘ol Stark honor system.  It’s done wonders for the family.  Also, exactly what purpose does The Wall serve now?  The White Walkers and the Night King are dead, the Wildlings made peace with most of the folks south of The Wall, and there’s a big ass wide open space on one side of it that’s big enough for a dragon to literally fly through (y’all ain’t gonna tell me that damn hole got fixed that fast).  What’s the point?

Jon must’ve thought the purpose of The Wall was useless as all hell now too, because he left with the Wildlings, presumably to be their king.  I’m not crazy about that ending.  I know in the end, Jon is still a king, and he was happiest with the Wildlings, but the ending just doesn’t sit that well with me.  (AVENGERS:  ENDGAME SPOILER AHEAD!!!)  It’s like when Captain America went back in time, lived out his life with Peggy, and returned to the present day a hot old grandpa.  Yeah, living with the woman he loved made him happy, but I preferred to see young Cap kickin’ ass with the rest of the crew.  In this case, I preferred Jon to be King of either the Iron Throne or the North, because he deserves to be true nobility, doggone it.

The Season Rushed Faster Than Jackie Joyner-Kersee

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Despite the fact that the majority of the episodes this season were the length of a feature film, season eight was rushed as hell!  Bam!  The White Walkers are close to Winterfell.  Bam!  The White Walkers descend on Winterfell.  Bam!  The battle between the White Walkers is over.  Bam!  The Dragon Crew prepares to strike against Cersei.  Bam!  Euron gets to them first.  Do y’all see where I’m going with this?  The days of intricate detail and fleshed out story points are over.  Welcome to Game of Thrones, fast food style.

The Starbucks Cup

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I ain’t even gonna lie, I didn’t even notice this travesty of a film flub until all the media outlets pointed it out the next day.  I’m really just being petty at this point.  😃

I will say that this film flub proves that D&D not only rushed through the storyline, but they must’ve had the editors rush through compiling the scenes together if they let this bad boy slip through.  This faux pax has since been digitally removed from the episode.

Was There Anything I Did Like About This Season?

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There were some good things that occurred in season eight, believe it or not.  The Battle of Winterfell (although it was a bit hard to see thanks to it being so dark), seeing a vulnerable Brienne, the epic shot of Dany appearing to sprout dragon wings, Jon and Arya finally reuniting, the entire repast/party scene after the battle, those were some things I enjoyed.  I also liked that Arya and Gendry hooked up, although I wish they had toned down the scene…a lot.  Sansa being crowned Queen in the North is cool, but I wish Jon could’ve kept his title.  Just sayin’.  Arya sailing to the land that’s west of Westeros (America!) was nice to see as well.  I was hoping Gendry would pop up on deck next to her, watching Westeros fade into the horizon, but Arya ain’t the sail off in the sunset type.  One of my favorite scenes was Drogon melting the Iron Throne after Dany died.   Not only was the scene visually stunning, but it was interesting to see that Drogon knew the true reason for his mother’s death, and it wasn’t the knife Jon plunged in her heart.  I know I may be in the minority, but I also like that Arya killed the Night King, although it was completely inexplicable and infeasible how she managed to get past the other White Walkers.

Sadly enough, Game of Thrones’s eighth season had way too many crappy scenes and plot points that offset the good stuff.  Some of it I didn’t even bother to mention (this post is lengthy enough) like Cleganebowl being anti-climatic (and that wack ending to the fight burned me up.  Pun intended), losing Theon and Jorah, Missandei’s death and Grey Worm’s subsequent villainous turn, Jaime and Arya’s “hit and quit it” routines, Melisandre dying after she removes her necklace, although the last time she took her necklace, she was alright (just old as Methuselah), the Westerosi north behaving like the American South, and so on and so forth.

*Sigh*  This last season of Game of Thrones disgusted me.  Just like the running joke around the internet goes, “Jon went north, Arya went west, Drogon went east, and the show went south.”  Truer words have never been spoken.  It’s just so sad, because this entire series was damn near perfect, but season eight was a complete let down; a pale shadow of the greatness that Game of Thrones once was.  It basically crapped on everything that was established in the previous seasons and ended on a completely unfulfilling note, to boot.  In conclusion…

GAME OF THRONES SEASON 8 WAS TRASH. 

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P.S.  Sam Esmail, it’s all on you now.  DO NOT disappoint me.

—Written by Nadiya

So what did you think about the final season of Game of Thrones?  Was it trash or was it passable (ain’t no way in hell you thought it was flawless!)?  If you liked it or disliked it, why?  Let me know in the comments section!

 

by Nadiya

John Singleton: 1968 – 2019

I was 10 years old when I first watched Boyz N the Hood, and I hate to sound like a cliche, but it not only changed things within the black film genre, it forever changed the way I viewed Los Angeles.  Before I knew John Singleton existed, I thought LA was a beautiful city that was full of movie stars and bursting with opportunity.  However, Boyz N the Hood opened my eyes to the other side of Los Angeles…South Central.

I learned that South Central was an area of LA where poor black people could get gunned down for a simple disagreement—or in retaliation for previously shooting someone else—or they could be harassed by the cops simply for existing.  I also learned about a little thing known as gentrification, but that’s another topic for another time.  Lastly, Boyz N the Hood introduced me to Ice Cube, Morris Chestnut, Cuba Gooding, Jr. and Laurence Fishburne, all legends in their own right.

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One of my most fond memories of watching Boyz n the Hood for the first time was seeing John Singelton’s PSA for the United Negro College Fund on the VHS copy (once again, I’m showing my age).  I was taken aback by Mr. Singleton the moment I saw him.  He was handsome, intelligent, talented, woke, and young.  Most movie directors I saw were well into their 40’s and 50’s, but John was in his early 20’s, and he already created a film that would forever be a staple of black cinema.  Those were traits I could really respect and admire, even at the tender age of 10.

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Not too long after I watched Boyz n the Hood, John went on to direct Michael Jackson’s “Remember the Time” video.  Personally, I felt that it was Mike’s second best video ever (after “Thriller,” of course).  After that, it was official; I was a John Singleton fan.  When Poetic Justice was released a few years later, I remember telling my cousin I wanted to see the film because I liked John Singleton’s work, and he laughed, telling me, “He’s only done two things!”  That didn’t matter to me.  Even though he didn’t have that much under his belt—by that time, that is—I still thought what he did so far was extraordinary.

Over the years, John completed many more great films and TV shows like Higher Learning, Rosewood, Shaft, 2 Fast 2 Furious, American Crime Story:  The People vs. OJ Simpson and Four Brothers.  However, the other movie in John’s catalouge that met the caliber of Boyz n the Hood was Baby Boy.  By the time I saw Baby Boy, I was a 20 yr. old college junior, and it was all my friends and I could talk about for the rest of the semester—dare I say the rest of the school year.  When I started building my DVD collection a few months later, Baby Boy was one of the first films I purchased.  The movie didn’t blow me away quite like Boyz n the Hood did, but nonetheless, it still left a serious impact on me, and it remains one of my favorite films.  My homegirl and I still quote many of the lines in the movie, as a matter of fact.  Baby Boy made me see Tyrese in a totally different light (as a sex symbol!), and it introduced us all to none other than Ms. Taraji P. Henson.  That alone qualifies it as a classic film.

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When I found out that John had a stroke, I prayed he’d make it through and come back to us in good health.  Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case, and he passed on.  I was floored when I learned one of the directors I hold in most high regard (along with Spike Lee and F. Gary Gray) was no longer with us.  What hurt me even more is that this is the second young man the world of entertainment we’ve lost to a stroke this year (the first being Luke Perry).

John Singleton’s contributions to entertainment and to black culture shouldn’t go unnoticed.  There was no denying his talent.  Even though this tribute is late as all hell thanks to the crazy month I’ve had, I knew I had to write a post on what John Singleton meant to me.  Otherwise, I’d regret it.  Mr. Singleton, I just want to thank you for all the wonderful movies, video and TV series you’ve provided us over the years and for allowing us all to enjoy your vision.  I appreciate it all.  Rest in power.

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John Daniel Singleton:  January 6, 1968 – April 28, 2019

—Written by Nadiya

by Nadiya

Arya Loses It, and Winterfell Is Racist (Plus Other Stuff That Blew My Mind)!

Hey, y’all!  Just wanted to talk about some of the things that blew my mind on last week’s episode (Apr. 21, 2019) of Game of Thrones before The Battle of Winterfell officially begins tonight.  Man, I’m dreading the possibility of losing some of my favorite people.

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Yeah, I know I’m late, but let’s face it…I’m always late (except for my Avengers:  Endgame review.  I had to hurry up and release my frustration and anger with that one).   Anyway, let’s do this!

Y’all Sure This is the North?  It Feels More Like the Deep South!

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When the Dragon Crew rode into The North during the premiere episode, Dany and her people received some strange looks from the Northerners—some dirty, some in awe.  However, when Missandei and her boo Grey Worm rode in, all they got were nasty stare downs.  Now, I noticed the hostile reaction the two of them acquired right off the bat.  As a matter of fact, it was a bit reminiscent of this scene:

However, being the optimist I am, I tried to give the Northerners the benefit of the doubt and deduce that they were just unwelcoming to strangers.  But, last week, Missandei walked up to two children to tell them hello, and those jokers took one look at her and scurried off like roaches when the lights come on!  I’m sorry…it feels like Winterfell is a bit racist.  Just sayin’.  The Northerners’ rude behavior wasn’t lost upon Grey Worm, and he offered Missandei the chance to run away with him when the fighting is over.  Missandei said she’d love to go to Naath with him and make love on the sand (okay, that’s a slight exaggeration).  I really hope Grey Worm lives.

Theon and Sansa Might Have a Love Connection…If He Survives

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So, while Sansa and Dany were trying their best to have a sisterly moment—which ended up in failure—Theon returned to Winterfell and declared that he would fight for them against the Night King and his army, sealing his loyalty to her and her house.  Dany was somewhat shocked to hear that, I noticed.  Sansa was so overcome with emotion, that she ran up and hugged him, and it felt like more than just a brother/sister type thing.  Later that night, Theon and Sansa were sitting outside and exchanging some longing looks.  Hmmm…  This could be interesting…  I really hope Theon lives.

Brienne Is Made a Knight!

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Before The Night King and his crew make their official entrance, Tyrion, Jaime, Tormund, Ser Davos, Brienne, and Podrick decide to sit up until 3:00 AM and get drunk, because…reasons.  Someone brought up the subject of Brienne being a knight, and she confessed that she was never knighted.  Tormund said her that if he were a king, he’d knight her 10 times over (he’s so cute), and Jaime informed him that it doesn’t take a king to knight someone, just another knight.  He then proved it by knighting her himself, thus making her Ser Brienne of Tarth.  Tormund gave Brienne a standing O for that (ovation; get your head out the gutter), as did Tyrion.  I really hope they all live.

Jon Fessed Up To Dany!

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During the season premiere, Bran convinced Sam to tell Jon the truth about his true parentage.  Considering that Dany just admitted to Sam that she killed all the male members of his family, Sam didn’t have too much issue letting Jon know that he was the true heir of the Iron Throne.  Jon spent last week’s episode aloof towards Dany, and she noticed it.  Of course, we all knew the reason behind Jon’s indifferent attitude.  Towards the end of the episode, Dany caught Jon in the crypt looking at his birth mother’s grave, and he admitted to her that he is actually Aegon Targaryen, son of Rhaegal Targaryen and Lyanna Stark.  Dany wasn’t happy to hear the news, naturally.  What kills me about all this is that no one seems to be concerned with the fact that Jon was hookin’ up with his auntie.

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I would say that I hope Jon and Dany live, but I’m 100% sure that they will.  I’d bet my wrestling DVD’s on it.

Last But Not Least…Arya Gets Some!

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Let me just say, I’ve wanted Arya and Gendry to get together ever since they met.  I thought they’d make a cute couple, and last week, it looked like my wish was granted.  It turned out to be a lot more than I bargained for.  Once Arya learned that the White Walkers would be at Winterfall sometime before dawn, she decided to use her possible last hours fulfilling a dream.  It turns out her dream was to lose her virginity, and who else to do it with than the guy she’s had a little crush on all these years (I don’t care what you say; she was crushin’ on him).  So, she retrieved the weapon that she had Gendry make for her, and asked him (or should I say, demanded him) to use his other weapon on her.

Now, I have to say, I always figured that Arya and Gendry would eventually hook up via a first kiss or something like that.  In this scene, Arya went all out—and I mean all out.  This scene really made me and a few other viewers extremely uncomfortable (Arya was trending on Twitter for nearly two days after this episode aired).  So much so, that when she started stripping naked, I turned my head until the scene was over.  Yeah, I realize that on the show, Arya is about 18 and in real life, Maisie Williams is 22, but I still remember Arya when she looked like this:

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It’s like watching your kids grow up and do something like this on prom night.  Nope!  I do have to agree with what my boy Jeremy Jahns said about this situation, though.  We can watch Arya murder countless people with no problem, but when it comes to watching her lose her virginity, that’s too doggone awkward!  Either way, I really hope Arya and Gendry live.  That way, she can confirm whether or not she enjoyed herself.  After seeing the stoic look on her face afterwards, we all had questions about that, too.  😃😃

—Written by Nadiya

So what did y’all think about last week’s episode of Game of Thrones?  Are you psyched for this week’s episode?  What scenes from last week blew your mind?  Let me know in the comments section!

 

 

by Nadiya

I Just Got Back from Seeing ‘Avengers: Endgame’ and…

Wow.

When I walked away from Avengers:  Infinity War last year, I was floored.  The movie was powerful and exciting, but did the masterful job of reining it in just enough to prevent the film from being absolutely ridiculous.  When Thanos snapped his fingers and made half the world turn to ash (I’m assuming you’ve all watched Infinity War by now and you know what happened), I couldn’t wait to see the next installment.  Y’all can imagine my excitement when the premiere weekend for Avengers:  Endgame finally arrived.  However, when I walked out of the theatre this time…I was severely disappointed.  No, that’s a lie.  I was pissed off.

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The movie begins a few weeks after the events of Infinity War.  Tony and Nebula are floating in space with their oxygen levels running low, and the other remaining Avengers are on Earth, trying their best to think of a way to find Thanos and possibly undo his “finger snap.”  Hopefully, with Captain Marvel’s help, they’ll be able to take down Thanos and bring their friends and loved ones back…or so the previews would have you believe.

No, I’m not upset about the previews being slightly misleading.  That happens almost all the time.  Besides, I’d rather watch a trailer that gives me a bit a misdirection instead of one that tells the entire damn film in two minutes.  I’m angry because this movie was poorly executed, did a grave disservice to some of the characters, and contained horrid plot points that made the hair on the back of my neck stand up.

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Seriously, I haven’t been this upset after watching a Marvel film since I viewed Age of Ultron back in 2015, and as much as that film irked me, Endgame irritated 10 times more.  Ironically enough, a friend of mine and I were talking a few days ago about The Avengers franchise, and she was telling me that she didn’t like Infinity War because the plot was all over the place.  I have to disagree.  That doesn’t describe Infinity War, but it describes Endgame to a T.  First the plot drags, then it picks up, then towards the end it becomes a complete hot mess.  I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again, having too much of a good thing does exist, and OMG…the Russo brothers completely forgot that aspect when they directed the climax of the film.  That’s another thing that’s bugging me:  this is another film directed by the Russo brothers.  They did such a wonderful job with Captain America:  Civil War and Infinity War, that I believed they had Endgame in the bag.  Not the case.  And that ending?  Lord, have mercy.

I can’t say that I hated everything about Endgame.  There were some action scenes that were exciting and the movie had a few jokes that landed.  I loved the special effects, especially the way they de-aged Michael Douglas (who reprised his role as Hank Pym) and aged another character, whom I can’t mention.  All the actors did a great job, as usual.  However, I have a gripe against one member of the cast, and that’s my sweetheart Chris Hemsworth.  Yes, that Chris Hemsworth.  I recently learned that Chris was responsible for Thor’s character arc in this film, and if that’s true, he needs to stick to what he does best and keep his fine ass out of the writer’s room.  For real.  Y’all remember how Thor shined in Infinity War and handled his grief with grace and dignity?  Yeah, all that got crapped on in Endgame.  Thanks for ruining my favorite MCU character, boo.

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Last but not least, here’s a very slight spoiler for y’all:  Endgame has no post-credits scene, so don’t bother wasting your time looking for one after the film ends.  It’s true, Infinity War didn’t have one either, but I really needed one for Endgame…just to have a small glimmer of hope.  I won’t say why that is.

Judging by the the majority of the audience I viewed the movie with, along with the numerous tweets I’ve seen so far, a lot of people loved Avengers:  Endgame just as much—if not more—than they did Infinity War.  I am not one of those people.  In my humble opinion, Endgame was the head captain of Team Too Much, with a wack ass ending to boot.  With that being said, although I don’t recommend the movie, I’m not going to tell y’all not to see it.  I can understand why some people may find it a fitting end of an era, so you’ll have to determine for yourselves whether or not it’s a benefit to the MCU canon or a detriment.   Me personally, I found the majority of the film to be ludicrous.  I expected better of the MCU, I expected better of the Russo’s…I just expected better.

—Written by Nadiya

So did you enjoy Avengers:  Endgame, or did you agree with my review?  Would some of you like me to post another assessment that includes spoilers so you can get more insight into why I disliked the film so much?  If you liked the film, what was your favorite part, or what did you love about the movie?  If you didn’t like Endgame, why?  Are you sad to see the MCU as we know it end?  Please let me know in the comments section!

 

 

 

 

by Nadiya

Cersei Lannister Is a Damn Fool!

What’s poppin’, y’all?  After a long and tortuous year and a half wait, the finale season of Game of Thrones premiered on HBO two Sundays ago (Apr. 14, 2019), and I was here for it!  Normally, I post a recap and review about the show, but I’m extremely late as all hell, and I’m sure you’ve all peeped the season premiere by this point.  So instead of my usual post, I’m gonna touch on a subject that really made my head spin last week.  It’s wasn’t Bran waiting in the freezing cold all night to see Jaime and it wasn’t Jon making out with his auntie while Drogon gave him a menacing stare.  It was Cersei Lannister’s dumb ass.

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As I’m sure you all are aware, last season, Jon, Dany, Tyrion and the rest of The Dragon Crew (that’s my new name for the folks on Dany’s side) traveled to King’s Landing and showed Cersei an actual wight.  “Wight” is the official name for those decaying zombies that make up the Night King’s army, in case you’re wondering.  Even though Cersei saw a rotten zombie with her own two eyes and clearly heard Jon and Dany say that hundreds upon thousands of those things are heading south, she opts not to use her common sense and decides to betray Jon and Dany by having that nutbag Euron Greyjoy employ extra soldiers from The Golden Company to take out The Dragon Crew.

Thus, bringing us to the present.  Euron’s nutty ass returns with The Golden Company and Cersei is whining because she hoped with all her heart and soul that they’d bring elephants, because that’s smart.  After all, a land dwelling elephant will make quick work out of flying, fire breathing dragons.  Yeah.

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When Cersei questions why she wasn’t given the elephants she was promised, the army captain tells her what everyone with actual intelligence already knew:  it was impossible to transport the elephants across the sea.  I mean, it’s not like there were any trains or airplanes to transport the doggone animals back then.

After the captain exits, Euron Greyjoy’s horny ass starts coercing Cersei into some personal time.  Cersei rebuffs him, and Euron starts whining.  Cersei replies to his griping with this now epic line:

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Now, before we start high fivin’ Cersei and giving her props for women’s empowerment, she soon remembers that 1) she hasn’t had any in a while, 2) Jaime’s gone, and her source for regular dick has gone with him, and 3) she has a bun in the oven and has to place the blame on somebody other than Jaime, considering that regardless of the fact that she’s the queen of the seven kingdoms, folks tend to frown on incest.  With all that being said, Cersei—somewhat reluctantly—gives up the booty.

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After she and Euron do the do, Cersei is still whining about those damn elephants.  Euron, on the other hand, can’t stop bragging and asking Cersei if he was the best she ever had.  Fool, if you have to ask, you probably sucked.   Cersei doesn’t indulge him, but she doesn’t wound his ego, either.  Before Euron leaves, he swears down he’s going to put a prince in her belly, and you can literally see the damn creaky ass wheels turning in Cersei’s head.  Lord, have mercy.

Allow me to reiterate what I said in the title of this post:  Cersei Lannister is a damn fool.  It’s a wonder she survived this long.  I honestly believe that if it wasn’t for Tywin and Jaime (and to a certain degree, Tyrion), she would’ve dug her own hole a long time ago.  First of all, like Jaime told your simple ass last season, you not helping the North fight the Night Walkers is a lose-lose situation.  Either the Northerners win and kill you for your betrayal—and Dany (or Jon) still takes the Iron Throne in the process—or the Night Walkers win, continue their campaign further south and kill everyone in King’s Landing, thus making the damn Night King the King of the Seven Kingdoms (try saying that five times fast).

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Second of all, Dany may have lost Viserion, but she still has Drogon and Rhaegal, two full grown, fire breathing, flying dragons.  You honestly think some Barnum and Bailey elephants can really do something on land?  I seriously doubt it, Dumbo.

Third, don’t give an epic speech about Euron having to earn a queen and then spread ’em like peanut butter five minutes later because you wanna play the okey doke with another man, pretending he’s the father of your unborn child, when everyone knows it belongs to you doggone brother (which is gross enough).  Dang, not only is Cersei stupid as hell, she’s a nasty ho!

Unfortunately for Cersei, Tywin and Jamie are both gone, and she’s completely exposed.  I just hope that Cersei isn’t stupid enough to think that Euron’s crazy, non-stop-dick-joke-tellin’ ass is gonna protect her, because he won’t.  If anything, that guy’s out for himself.  But anyone with half a doggone brain could see that.  Then again, we’re talking about Cersei.

With all that being said, I’m just gonna close this post out with the perfect GIF, dedicated to Queen Cersei:

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—-Written by Nadiya

So, do you think Cersei will win the game of thrones?  If so, why (because I really need to hear this)?  Let me know in the comments section!