Who’s At Fault? Issa or Molly?

What’s up, y’all?  Last year, after witnessing the farce known as Game of Thrones’s final season, I decided to keep my HBO subscription and I fell in love with another show, Insecure.  There’s so much to love about Insecure, be it the comedy, the realism, the soundtrack and/or the fashion and hairstyles.  Plus, it showcases everyday black women like myself, just going through normal life and dealing with the same insecurities and hardships regarding love and work.  One of the things I loved about the show was Issa and Molly’s friendship.  They don’t always see eye to eye, but when push comes to shove, they always have each other’s backs.  So you can imagine my shock and hurt when Issa opened the season four premiere with this line:


Coincidentally, the narrator from Issa’s favorite TV show can be heard in the background asking, “What happened?  Who’s responsible?”   Interesting question.  Who is responsible for Issa and Molly’s fallout?  The first four episodes of this season give the audience further insight as to why Issa and Molly are no longer friends, and as usual, I have my opinion.

Round 1:  The Mixer

Insecure’s fourth season kicks off with Issa making strides to organize her block party and Molly entering a new relationship with her official boo, Andrew. As far as the block party is concerned, Issa’s come a long way thanks to Condola, a well-connected and business savvy woman who partnered with Issa to get the project off the ground. One of the ways they attempt to raise funds for the party is to host a mixer at Issa’s apartment complex. Of course, Molly and Andrew are invited. Before the mixer, everything between Molly and Issa is great. However, the cracks in their friendship begin to show.

First, while Molly and Andrew are on their way to the mixer, Molly makes the comment that Issa’s get together may be “homegrown.” Truth be told, the mixer didn’t start off perfectly, mostly due to Issa’s crazy tenants and our girl living up to the show’s title while pitching the party to potentials donors. However, Issa pulls herself together and the night ends up being a success. During the party, Molly learns that Condola is currently dating Issa’s ex-boyfriend, Lawrence. Afterwards, Molly asks Issa if it’s weird working with Condola, and Issa admits that it is, but she also says that she can put her personal feelings aside to do what needs to be done. Molly comments that Issa’s being messy and she’s starting to believe that Issa likes messiness. Issa is clearly hurt, and she and Molly don’t really speak much to each other while cleaning up.

Who’s Most At Fault: Molly

Molly was wrong throughout this episode. I get the “homegrown” comment, to a degree. On one hand, you know your friends and you know how they roll. Issa isn’t always the woman that has everything together, so I kind of understand why Molly said that to Andrew. However, Molly’s also seen that Issa is working her ass off to get this block party off the ground, so on the flip side, it’s a bit hurtful that Molly has so little faith in her. Secondly, Issa continued to show maturity when she admitted her and Condola’s situation isn’t ideal, but she sees what Condola can bring to the table and refuses to let their personal lives disrupt their work. Despite that, Molly unfairly criticizes Issa as being a messy bitch. I honestly believe that Molly was taking her uncertainty about her relationship with Andrew (she learned Andrew was dating other women, but she figured they were exclusive) out on Issa. Wrong.

Round 2: Lunch and Self-Care Sunday

Things are still good between Issa and Molly, but the cracks are deepening. First, the ladies meet up for lunch to talk, and Molly can’t hide her annoyance upon seeing Condola wrapping up a meeting with Issa when she arrives at the restaurant. Molly becomes even more annoyed when Issa invites Condola to have lunch with them. She tells Issa that she can’t talk about anything personal around Condola, given that she doesn’t know her that well, and Issa promises to talk more during their Self-Care Sunday.

Later in the week, Molly and Andrew (who are now mutually exclusive) get into a disagreement about opening up more in their relationship, and she calls Issa to vent. Unfortunately, Issa isn’t able to talk due to being at a Schoolboy Q concert (she was there to solicit his services for the block party). Issa sends a text, and Molly’s irritation is clear. Finally, Self-Care Sunday arrives, and Molly tells Issa about what went down with Andrew. This time, Issa accuses Molly of not wanting to be happy and finding any and everything wrong with a man. Now it’s Molly, turn to be hurt. As if on cue, Andrew calls and apologizes, but Molly keeps this fact from Issa, and doesn’t really try to talk to her.

Who’s Most At Fault: Molly

It appears that Molly is a tad bit jealous of Issa and Condola’s budding friendship. Molly was flat out rude to Condola upon seeing her at the restaurant. Not only that, but she also seems to be annoyed at the fact that Issa isn’t always available for her when she wants her. Molly has to understand that Issa has her own life, and she isn’t always going to be there exactly when Molly wants and/or needs her. Just as Molly has outside demands, Issa does too. As for what Issa said about Molly and relationships, it’s the same deal as Molly’s “homegrown” comment. Yes, in the past, Molly has sabotaged nearly every relationship she’s had. However, Molly is trying to change and make her partnership with Andrew work. Issa isn’t seeing that, though.

Round 3: Thanksgiving

By this time, it’s evident that Issa and Molly aren’t in a good place. While shopping for Thanksgiving, Molly asks Issa if it’d be too bold to invite Andrew to her parents’ house for the holiday. Issa believes it’s too soon for him to hang out with Molly’s parents and jokes that “she’ll pull an old Molly and scare [Andrew] away.” Molly is clearly bothered by the joke. Issa brings up Condola, and Molly mentions that she still thinks their working relationship is strange. Issa tells Molly that she actually ran into Condola and Lawrence together and was cool with it, but she holds back on how she really feels about the situation. That’s when Molly mutters, “I’m glad your little thrupple is a success.” Issa reminds Molly that she was in a “thrupple” with Dro and his wife not too long ago, and Molly comes back by saying that Issa was “fuckin’ for free weed and toiletries” (that was a reference to Issa’s time with “TSA Bae”).

Issa lets Molly know that she offended her, and they both admit that they’ve been off for the past few months. They agree to speak more during Thanksgiving. When Turkey Day arrives, Issa and her brother Ahmal end up changing their plans due to a small family crisis and spend the day at a Mexican restaurant. The only issue is the restaurant has an hour wait, so Issa sends a text to Molly to let her know she’ll be late. Molly is irked once again and writes back, “Do you, girl.” The dismissive tone wasn’t lost upon Issa. Later that night, Issa mentions having to meet Molly for pie and she’s clearly dreading it. Ahmal asks if she and Molly are cool, and Issa lies and says that they are. However, after she drops Ahmal off, Issa texts Molly, asking to postpone their talk. Molly agrees to do so.

Who’s Most At Fault: Molly (But Issa Threw Some Hard Jabs)

Sorry Molly, but you’re doing the most right now. She still appears to have the utmost contempt for Issa and Condola’s friendship/work partnership. On top of that, her comment about Issa “fuckin’ for free weed and toiletries” was below the belt and uncalled for. Issa didn’t lie; Molly was involved in an open relationship with Dro. Also, when Issa sent Molly the first text, she was trying to be considerate, but Molly immediately assumed the worst. Her dismissive attitude is probably what caused Issa to completely call off their much needed talk.

However, Issa isn’t innocent, either. Her comment about being “the old Molly [that’ll] scare Andrew away” was wrong, and it hurt Molly’s feelings. Again, Molly is trying. This her first real attempt at a long-term relationship and she’s giving it her all. Issa’s being blind to Molly’s growth and change, just like Molly is being blind to hers. Also, Issa should’ve still shown up to speak with Molly, regardless. A conversation between these two is much needed.

Round 4: Parking Spots, Get-Togethers and Little Favors

It’s a month before the block party, and Issa and Molly’s relationship has all but completely disintegrated. The talk that they so desperately need to have has never happened. They haven’t even met up for Self-Care Sunday in the last few weeks. Issa, who’s been super busy organizing the block party, hasn’t been able to see Tiffany or the new baby, so she decides to visit them with the rest of the girls. Once she gets to Tiffany’s neighborhood, Issa finds a decent parking space, but once she tries to parallel park, Molly pulls up behind her and tries to take the space. The two women continue to try to claim it for the next few moments, nearly causing an accident. Issa finally relents and lets Molly have it. Molly later expresses that the space was hers anyway.

While the ladies help Tiffany with the laundry, the subject of relationships comes up, and Molly gives her newfound insight. Issa makes a lighthearted joke comparing Molly to Jada Pinkett-Smith on Red Table Talk, and Molly lets it be known that she doesn’t appreciate it. When Issa asks Tiffany where some of the folded laundry goes, Molly makes sure to remind Issa that she wasn’t there last week when they decided it’s to be placed on the changing table. Both Molly and Issa respectively speak with Tiffany and Kelli about their changing dynamic. It turns out both women are still smarting from the comments they made towards each other in the first and second episode of the season. Kelli advises Issa to talk to Molly, but Issa figures Molly will just see her how she sees her, so there’s no point. Tiffany also deduces that the ladies are suffering from a communication breakdown, to which Molly gives no reply. To make matters worse, when Molly sees Issa talking to Lawrence outside, she immediately presumes that Issa’s trying to get back together with him. In truth, they were just having a friendly chat.

Molly continues to make presumptions when Issa has to suddenly leave around the same time Lawrence does. It turns out that Schoolboy Q flaked on performing at the block party and Issa has to find a replacement. Oh yeah, and suddenly Condola is no where to be found. Molly responds to Issa’s hasty departure with a bunch of snide “umm-hmm’s.” Yeah, I know all about those. I do it myself sometimes.

Over the next few days, Issa fails to find any local talent to replace Schoolboy Q, but she remembers that Andrew works for LiveNation, so she calls Molly. When Molly first picks up, she figures Issa really wants to talk like how they used to, but Issa jumps right into the real reason she called: she wants Molly to use her girlfriend clout to get Andrew to help her find an act for the block party. Molly’s taken aback, and asks Issa if anything went wrong with Schoolboy Q’s contract. Issa feels a bit offended, as it seems to her like Molly is asking specifically what she did wrong. Molly agrees to ask Andrew, but later that night, she calls Issa and tells her she couldn’t do it. She felt that asking Andrew to do a favor for her friend was taking advantage of him, and her relationship with him was too important to screw that up. Clearly disappointed, Issa makes the excuse of having work to do and disconnects with Molly.

Who’s Most At Fault: A Draw

First off, Molly knew good and doggone well Issa was about to park in that parking space. I’m sure she saw Issa’s reverse lights when she pulled up. Secondly, instead of talking to Issa like Tiffany suggested, Molly jumps to conclusions about Issa and Lawrence and proceeds to pass judgement on her. You know Molly, it is possible for exes to be friends after the fact. Also, all the low key shade and snide remarks aren’t necessary.

Issa has to share the fault with Molly this go around because she called her solely to ask a favor, knowing they’re not on the best of terms at the moment. Not only that, but Issa pretty much let it be known that she was only calling her because she wanted something, and Molly really was looking forward to speaking with her best friend. I hate when people do that. Also, Issa put Molly in a very uncomfortable position by asking her to use her relationship with Andrew to help find a headliner. If Molly followed through with that, it wouldn’t have been a good look. It makes it seem as if Molly is using him for his talent connections. As a result, Molly was forced to choose between her boyfriend and her best friend, and that’s not fair. Also, when Molly asked about what happened with Schoolboy Q’s contract, I honestly believe she wasn’t trying to blame Issa. She was trying to get down to the bottom of what happened. After all, Molly’s a lawyer, and if Schoolboy Q broke his contract, she probably could’ve helped Issa and Condola (wherever she is) get compensation.

Final Verdict

When it comes to the dissolution of Molly and Issa’s friendship, both women are responsible, but Molly holds the most of the weight. I know it seems like I shit on Molly throughout this entire post, but that’s not the case. Despite all her flaws, I like Molly, and I really want to see her and Issa patch things up. After all, witnessing their relationship break up is even more disheartening than seeing them break up with their respective boyfriends. However, I have to call a spade a spade, and Molly’s the one that basically spearheaded the dissension between the two of them with her jealousy, spite and tendency to rush to judgement.

The main problem is that these two need to sit down and have a simple conversation. That’s all. Don’t assume the other won’t listen, don’t postpone it, don’t make any snide comments. Just talk. Another issue that neither Molly nor Issa are trying to accept is that they’re both growing and changing. Issa thinks that Molly is the same person that drives men away, when she’s really working hard to make her partnership with Andrew work. Molly thinks Issa is a messy bitch that lives for drama and still can’t get shit together, when in truth, Issa is being very professional with the Condola/Lawrence situation as well as doing what she has to in order to make the block party a success.

They both need to recognize the steps they’ve made to better themselves and applaud each other for it, not tear each other down.

I’ll say it again: I’m rooting for Issa and Molly to be friends again. Judging from the next episode’s preview, the block party is finally gonna happen, but the passive aggressive attitudes will continue and everything between the two ladies will come to a head. I’ll let y’all decide if I’m right or not:

Work this thing out, ladies.

—Written by Nadiya

So who do you think is more at fault: Molly or Issa? What do you think is causing Molly and Issa’s relationship to crumble? Do you believe they need to have a long conversation about where they are in life right now and how to fix what they have? Did you agree with anything I mentioned in the post? Let me know in the comments section!

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