“The False Bride” – Recap and Review (Plus the Mini Recaps of Eps 1 and 2!)

What’s up, y’all!  I told you I’d do my Outlander recaps this season, didn’t I?  Yes, I know I’m late as all hell, as usual (and yes, I’m aware I’m still an episode behind), but better late than never!  I was wrong about one thing, though.  Instead of doing one mini-recap, I have to do two before going into what happened in last week’s episode.  Not much is happening this season so far so the recaps won’t be too drawn out.  Here we go!

Episode 1 – “America the Beautiful”

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“America the Beautiful” starts off with Claire and Jamie in North Carolina, awaiting their friend’s execution for basically defending himself against a pissed off husband that tried to murder the poor man after finding him with his lyin’ ass wife.  Jamie suggests causing a distraction to free his friend (whose name I can’t remember at the time, and I’m not going out of my way to find out, considering the guy was a peripheral character at best), but his buddy refuses and accepts his fate.  We see that Jamie’s friend isn’t the only person about to be hung on the scaffold.  There’s also a dude named Stephen Bonnet that’s about to be strung up as well for the crime of piracy.  Long story short, Jamie’s friend dies, a commotion is caused by someone else in the crowd right afterward and Bonnet escapes.

The Frasers consider taking a ship back to Scotland to take Young Ian back to Jenny and Ian, Sr., but they soon decide to stay in America, because…reasons.  Fergus and Marsali decide to stay for a more legit reason:  Marsali’s pregnant, which means Claire, Jamie and nutty ass Laoghaire will be grandparents!  While finding a spot to officially bury Jamie’s friend later that night, they find Stephen Bonnet hiding in their wagon, and he begs them to help him escape the authorities.  Claire and Jamie’s hearts are made of gold, so they help the dude out.  Big mistake.  When they travel with Young Ian down the river to go to Jamie’s aunt’s plantation, Bonnet catches up to them and thanks them for their kindness by robbing them blind and killing Jamie’s other friend from prison, with Ray Charles’s “America the Beautiful” playing in the background.  This is America.  Don’t catch you slippin’ up.

Episode 2 – “Do No Harm”

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*Sigh*  This episode’s story line pissed me off so much, I thought I’d need a damn drink afterward.  After Jamie and Claire are robbed by murderous pirates, they finally make it to Jamie’s Aunt Jocasta’s house.  Jamie’s Aunt Jocasta has a beautiful plantation right on the river (as a matter of fact, the property is known as River Run), that’s chock full of slaves.  Claire, of course, is not here for the foolishness, so you can imagine her reaction when she finds out that Jocasta left the plantation to Jamie when she dies.  Jamie figures he can take the property and free all the slaves, but he soon finds out in order to do so he’d have to go through a ridiculous amount of red tape that I won’t even try to break down, because it’s all bullshit.  So much for slavery being a choice.

To add insult to injury, Jamie is later summoned to be a witness “to ensure that justice is done” after a slave has injured an overseer near River Run.  However, when Jamie gets to the location, he sees the slave with a hook in his side and a noose around his neck.  The overseer, injured though he may be, is the one stringing the man up.  Guess he wasn’t hurtin’ too damn bad.  Neither Claire nor Jamie is up for this shit, and Jamie orders the man off the noose.  Oh, that pissed off the townspeople plenty.  Claire takes the slave, Rufus (the young man admitted to Claire later that he was taken from Africa, so there’s no telling what his real name is), and performs surgery.  Jocasta warns that they’re making a grave mistake and they must turn Rufus in to the authorities as mandated by the law.  They basically give Jamie until 12:00 AM to hand Rufus over.  Needless to say, the bloodthirsty racist ass mob shows up at River Run around 10:45.

Jamie suggests to Claire that they should euthanize Rufus instead of delivering him into the hands of the mob, where he’ll undoubtedly face a long, agonizing death.  Claire agrees and puts some poison in a tea and allows Rufus to drink it.  After Rufus recalls his happier times in Africa with his sister to Claire, he passes away.  Jamie delivers Rufus’s dead body to the River Run chapter of the KKK and they proceed to string him up on the nearest tree as Jamie, Claire and Young Ian watch in horror.  Welcome to the dirty south.

Claire - You Bastard

The Current Show!

North Carolina, the 1700’s

Outlander - Claire on a Horse (Alt)

This brings us to the present, so to speak.  After the Fraser/Murray family personally witness a live retelling of Roots, they wisely decide not to spend any more time at River Run.  Jamie’s Aunt Jocasta isn’t too happy about that, especially when she hears Jamie’s plans to live out his days as a printer, but she’s just SOL.  They’re going.  Jocasta makes sure to give Claire an earful before they head about about how Jamie is squandering his birthright and how he should have been a laird, and yadda-yadda-yadda.  Yeah, Claire.  How dare you?  Being a slave master isn’t that bad!  It’s perfectly fine to snatch up an entire race of people just because they’re a different color than you, debase them, split up their families, force them to change their culture and religion and have them work for you day and night…for free!  What’s even better is that Jamie can get freaky with the slave girls, knock them up and either sell the babies for profit or utilize them for even more labor!  What’s even better is that this practice will go on for another hundred or years!  Jamie had the perfect chance to carry on the practice of systematic racism and oppression.  Damn you Claire, you selfish ho.

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Right before Jamie and Claire leave Jocasta to her foolery, Ian lets it be known that he’s staying in America with them and not returning to Scotland.  Jamie tries to convince Ian that he’s not old enough to be on his own, but Ian reminds his uncle that he’s been attacked by pirates twice, gone through a hurricane, kidnapped and thrown in a dungeon (not to mention he’s been sexually assaulted and witnessed a hate crime).  After all he’s been through, he’s basically grown from a boy to a man in the past few months.  I had to agree with Ian after hearing that, and Jamie does too.  Jamie relents and goes to write Jenny and Ian Sr., but Young Ian tells his uncle that he’s a man now, and a man can write his own letters.  You go, young man.

The Fraser/Murray family set out with the family dog, Rollo, and Mr. John Quincy Meyers, a local guide.  Ian, who has become pretty close with Mr. Meyers (they started to bond in the previous episode when Mr. Meyers helped Ian wash Rollo after the pup had an encounter with a skunk), breaks away from Claire and Jamie with his new friend to trade tobacco with the nearby Native Americans.  While the Frasers have some time to themselves, they chat about Brianna, and how in her time, women can be anything they want to be.  Claire admits that Brianna hadn’t quite found her way when she left (we learn during this episode that Brianna began studying engineering at MIT sometime after Claire went back through the stones).  Jamie assures Claire that Brianna is a smart young lady, and she’ll eventually find her purpose.  Claire later asks Jamie if he was making decisions about his life just for her sake, and if being a printer would really be enough for him.  I guess Jocasta’s foolery got under Claire’s skin after all.  Jamie tells her that although he enjoyed living the life of an outlaw, he’ll gladly give that all up for her, Ian, Fergus and Marsali.  Just then, they hear thunder from an oncoming storm, and their mule runs off.  Hardheaded Claire runs off after the mule although Jamie tells her to stay there.  You can imagine Jamie’s surprise when the mule returns, but Claire doesn’t.  It turns out when Claire runs off to find the mule, she ends up lost in the process.  Learn to listen, Claire.

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To make matters worse, while Claire’s trying to find her way back to Jamie, lightning strikes a nearby tree and spooks her horse, causing her to fall off it and hit her head.  *Sigh*  By the time Claire wakes up, the storm is in full force, and she has to find shelter.  She camps out under a large tree and uncovers a human skull as well as a jewel.  Claire seems to be intrigued by what she finds (I’d be creeped out by that doggone skull), and she notices someone carrying a torch nearby.  At first, she figures it’s Jamie coming to save her, but it turns out to be a Native American man walking towards her.  Now here’s the kicker:  each time the lightning flashes, the man disappears, but he reappears once the lightning stops.  I’d really be freaked out by this point.

When Claire wakes up the next morning, she finds her boots gone, but there’s fresh footprints in the ground.  The footprints seem to match her boots, so she follows them.  They lead to a stream, and not only does Claire find her boots near the water, she finds Jamie, too.  Yay!  It turns out Jamie followed the footprints to the stream as well, and he asks why Claire walked to the stream in her stocking feet.  Claire tells him that although her boots are there, she’s never been to that stream before.  Sometime later, she’s washing her newfound skull by the water and notices that there’s a silver filling in the skull’s teeth.  It doesn’t sound too farfetched to us, but fillings aren’t invented for another hundred years or so.  Come to think of it, toothbrushes and toothpaste didn’t come around for another hundred years, either.  I bet everyone had breath bad enough to singe somebody’s nose hairs.

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After Claire makes her revelation, she and Jamie look out over the land and see how beautiful it is.  Jamie’s smitten by the location, and he decides that he and Claire will make a life there in that very spot.  Jamie decides to call it Fraser’s Ridge.  Awww…

Claire and Jamie - Fraser's Ridge (Alt)

North Carolina, the 1970’s

Roger and Brianna (Alt)

The series has gone back to giving us Roger and Brianna’s storyline along with Claire and Jamie’s (yay?), and we see that two years have passed since we last saw the budding couple.  They’ve never officially said they were together, and Roger admits that they haven’t really had a chance to hang out in the last few months due to their schedules—and the distance they have apart, I’m sure—but Roger is committed enough to leave Scotland, fly out to Boston and drive with Brianna to North Carolina to attend a Scottish festival with her.  The ludicrous notion is mentioned by other characters within the show, and I’m glad it is.  That’s like me leaving South Carolina, flying to Philadelphia then driving to Syracuse to attend their version of the Egg Scramble Jamboree (South Carolinians—namely ones in the Pee Dee region—know what the Egg Scramble Jamboree is.  The rest of y’all Google it).

Roger and Brianna start off having a great time together, on the drive to North Carolina and at the festival itself.  It’s obvious they’re both falling in love with each other, and Brianna decides to take the relationship to the next level, and by next level, I mean actually telling people that Roger is her boyfriend.  Plus, the entire trip, Stevie Wonder and Ray Charles could see that Brianna really, really REALLY wants a piece of that Scottish strudel.

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When nightfall arrives, Roger performs a few songs with his guitar as he promised, and even sings a beautiful solo.  By this time, Brianna has to damn near be hosed down.  Brianna invites him to her room for drinks, and doesn’t waste anytime making her move.  Roger decides he wants everything to be “perfect” before they do the do, though.  Basically, that translates to him completely ruining everything in 3…2…1!  This fool proposes marriage!  Of course, Brianna is shocked, and informs him that he’s moving way too fast.  After all, she just started introducing him as her boyfriend that afternoon.  Roger doesn’t care.  He wants the wife, the house, the white picket fence, the four kids, etc.  Brianna stops him in his tracks.  She doesn’t want to get married—at least not at the moment.

Roger has the audacity to get pissed, and reaches the highest point of pissivity when Brianna continues to try to kiss him.  “You won’t marry me, but you’ll fuck me!?”  Wow.  Roger goes on to slut shame Brianna, and she reminds him that it’s 1970, not 1870.  He damn sure ain’t no virgin, and there’s precious few women still saving themselves for marriage.  Roger figures that Brianna just doesn’t love him, but she assures him that that’s not the case.  Roger isn’t trying to hear it.  Later, Brianna meets up with Roger again during the stag burning ceremony (if anyone knows the official name for this ceremony, let me know in the comments) and tries to talk to him.  When he asks if she’s changed her mind, she tells him she hasn’t…but she does want to be with him.  Roger tells her that either she’ll love all of him or none of him.  Roger goes to burn the ceremonial stag in the name of the MacKenzie clan (no disrespect, but this scene put me in the mind of The Wicker Man a bit.  The original, not the wack Nicolas Cage remake) and Brianna leaves, ending the show.  *Sigh*

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So far, this season of Outlander has been pretty ho-hum, and this episode was no exception.  It’s not quite as sleep inducing as the first half of season two featuring the Frasers in France (God, that was awful), but it’s not grabbing me as of yet.  You know it’s a sad day when Roger and Brianna bring more drama and a tad more interest to the screen than Jamie and Claire.

While I’m on the subject of Roger and Brianna, let me just say that although Brianna isn’t my favorite character on the show (that honor is bestowed on her daddy), I agreed with her wholeheartedly on this.  Some folks might say this is why I don’t have a man, and hell, maybe it is why, but I believe Roger was actin’ a damn fool in this episode.  Like I said before, they weren’t even officially calling themselves a couple until that very same afternoon, and before he left for America, he wasn’t even sure what their status was.  But yet you went out and spent God knows how much on a ring?  Boy, bye!

Beyonce - Boy Bye (Alt)

Plus, Brianna is what, 22?  She hasn’t even finished school yet (she mentions this herself)!  I can’t blame her for not wanting to jump the broom before really experiencing life just yet!  Personally, I can’t stand when men take it to the extreme over the least little thing!  I remember when I was 18, I met a cute dude at the Eckerd drug store (telling my age again).  I gave him my number, and everyday, multiple times a day, starting at 9:00 AM sharp, he would call me and tell me that he missed me.  He missed me!?  I just met the dude!  See how ridiculous that is?  Roger really needs to pump his brakes.

The recap for the next episode is gonna be late is all hell too, but I’m on it.  Stay tuned!

—Written by Nadiya

So what did you think about “The False Bride”?  Was it interesting, or mostly dull?  What about Roger and Brianna’s storyline?  Was Roger right to propose marriage so soon, or did he jump the gun?  What do you think about the Native American man Claire saw?  Was he a ghost?  Do you believe Jamie is wasting his ambition and birthright not taking his aunt’s plantation?  Let me know in the comments section!

 

 

Stan Lee: 1922 – 2018

Like most red-blooded American kids, I read comic books growing up.  However, my comics were more geared towards Archie, Mickey Mouse, and Duck Tales.  Every now and again, I’d check out the comics featuring superheroes.  I was mostly drawn to the movies and TV shows they starred in.  So it’s no surprise that I didn’t learn of Stan Lee’s existence until I was 15 years old.  I was watching the movie Mallrats (I think my sister and I are the only people that actually like that film), and true to form, Stan made a cameo.  That was my first introduction to the legend.

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Don’t get me wrong, I was a fan of The Incredible Hulk and Spiderman as a child (Spiderman especially), but I never thought about the man behind the stories; the creator himself.  Stan Lee was greatly responsible for bringing us so much of the entertainment that helped shape our lives and give us so much enjoyment today.  Just think about it:  a lot of my posts are about Marvel films.  I just wrote one last month about my top 10 movies in the MCU.  It’s thanks to Stan Lee that I was able to fall in love with Thor (and yes, I realize Thor was a mythical Nordic God, but it was Stan who gave him mainstream appeal), rush to the movie theatre to see the next Avengers film, and enjoy reruns of “The Incredible Hulk” TV series.

Stan was also an extremely forward-thinking man, seeing as he helped create the characters of T’Challa and Luke Cage during an extremely turbulent time in America (more so than the present day, believe it or not).  He also modeled the X-Men storyline from the Civil Rights Era, and based Professor X and Magneto on Dr. Martin Luther King and Malcolm X, respectively (although Malcolm X was no where near as murderous as Magneto).  Let’s not forget the now legendary edition of “Stan’s Soapbox” that he printed in 1968 where he blasted the practice of racism and bigotry:

Stan's Soapbox

Stan was truly one of a kind, and although I’ll miss him—especially his hilarious cameos in ALL his Marvel films—I can’t be too upset that he passed on.  Mr. Lee lived a wonderful life.  He created a universe that will be revered for generations to come.  He was active and in his right mind right up until his last days.  He lived to be 95 years old.  When people think of Marvel, they automatically think of Stan Lee.  Those are brillant accomplishments that we all wish we could aspire to.   Rest in power, Stan.

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Stanley Martin Lieber aka Stan Lee:  December 28, 1922 – November 12, 2018

—Written by Nadiya

Sing Me a Song: ‘Outlander’ Season 3 Recap

What’s up, y’all?  I’m sure most of you know that the new season of Outlander premiered a week ago (Sun. Nov. 4, 2018)!  As most of my loyal readers already know, I didn’t do a lot of writing on my blog last year, so there were no Outlander reviews and recaps of each individual episode for season 3.  With that being said, I’ve decided to recap what happened last season, before I start reviewing season 4.  Let’s get this party started!

The Suck Years

Claire:  1948 – 1968

Outlander Season 3

Let’s begin with the 20 years that Claire and Jaime spent apart, or as I like to call them, “The Suck Years.”  So, when Claire goes back to her time, it’s 1948, and it’s been three years since she went through the stones.  As we learned from season two, Frank took Claire back, although she married another man back in the 18th century and returned pregnant with his child.  They migrate to the States and spend the next 20 years together.  And man, what a miserable 20 years it is.  No matter how hard Claire tries to make it work with Frank, her heart still belongs to Jamie, and no matter how hard Frank tries to rekindle what he had with Claire, it’s evident that Jamie will continue to haunt their relationship.  The only saving grace is that Frank loves Brianna unconditionally.

I have to say though, Frank becomes a bit of an asshole over time.  Yeah, he’s been through a lot—I’ll give him that much—but after a while, he decides that he and Claire should have an open relationship, and he starts messin’ around with some chick he works with.  After the side piece makes a visit to the house—while guests are there celebrating Claire’s med school graduation—Claire decides that she and Frank should throw in the towel.  Frank refuses, saying that if they divorce, Claire would take Brianna away from him.  Even though Claire assures him she would never do that, he doesn’t believe her.  Fast forward a few years later to Brianna’s high school graduation, Frank is the one who announces he wants a divorce so he can marry his side piece, and even goes so far as to say that when they break up, he’s taking Brianna with him to the UK.  Dick move.  Sadly, Frank dies in a car accident that same night, and the side piece has the audacity to get in Claire’s face some time later and call her selfish for holding on to a man that she didn’t love.  Have a seat, girl (preferably with your legs closed).

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To add insult to injury, we all witness Claire being respected (albeit extremely hard earned) by her male peers in the 18th century, but as soon as she returns to the 1940’s, she has to endure damn near non-stop sexism and chauvinists/racists (Claire’s colleague/best friend, Dr. Joe Abernathy, is a black man, and one of Claire’s med school professors made it clear he didn’t want either of them in his class).  Whenever she voices her opinion about serious subjects around Frank’s co-workers and superiors, she’s either be written off as being cute or talking way too much.  Her decision to become a doctor is met with snide remarks and disdain, too.  I couldn’t help but notice that during this era the colors used for the cinematography seemed to be monotone and dull, as if Claire was trapped in a completely depressing and monotonous environment.  I didn’t call them the suck years for nothing.

Jamie:  1748 – 1768

Outlander - Jamie on Horse (Alt)

Claire wasn’t the only person that had to put up with constant misery for the next two decades.  Jamie’s 20 years away from his beloved were just as bad, if not worse.  I take that back; they were worse.  Hell, at least Claire had TV and indoor plumbing.  After Claire travels through the stones, Jaime goes back to the Battle of Culloden to accept his fate.  Thankfully, he doesn’t die…but that damn Black Jack Randall did!  Kick rocks, bitch!  As we already knew, the Scottish don’t win the overall war, and it’s not long before the English catch up to the wounded men that made it out of the battlefield and execute them all, including Rupert.  Young John Grey’s brother realizes that Jamie is among the men, and instead of executing him, he keeps his brother’s word to leave Jamie unharmed and makes arrangements to take him back to Lallybroch.

Four to six years later, Jamie is laying low in a cave not too far from the Lallybroch estate.  By this time, Jenny has enough kids to start her own basketball team—including teenaged Fergus, Robbie McNabb and baby Ian on the way—and the Brits are harassing her and Ian Sr. damn near every day looking for Jamie (who’s now known as “The Dunbonnet”).  In one instance, one of the redcoats follows Fergus into the woods thinking he’ll lead him to Jamie, but Fergus leads the fool on a bit of a wild goose chase.  When Fergus teases him for his stupidity, the nasty ass soldier cuts the young boy’s hand off.  Fergus being maimed is the last straw for Jamie.  He convinces Jenny to turn him into the authorities so the family can have some peace, and off to prison The Dunbonnet goes.

When Jamie’s in prison, he crosses paths with Lord John Grey himself, who’s now all grown up and handed the title of prison warden.  Jamie also reunites with Murtaugh (yay!).  While inside, Jamie is known as “MacDubh” (pronounced “McDoo”) and does his best to look after the other inmates.  Jamie and John develop a special bond (for John, it’s unrequited love), and when the inmates are later transferred, John sees to it that Jamie is made a butler for a well-to-do English family, The Dunsanys.  Lord John also makes sure to keep Jamie’s real identity as a Jacobite secret.  While Jamie is working for the Dunsanys, their spoiled rotten daughter, Geneva, sets her sights on him.  She’s betrothed to an old ugly man that she can’t stand, and she makes up her mind to lose her virginity to a sexy Scot, and of course, Jamie is a perfect choice.  Jamie initially refuses, but Geneva blackmails him into sleeping with her by threatening to tell her parents that he’s really a Jacobite.  Jamie gives in and does the deed with her, and lo and behold, Geneva ends up pregnant.  Boo…

Sadly, Geneva dies after giving birth to baby William, but Jamie looks after Willie for the next few years.  However, more and more people begin to notice the resemblance between Willie and Jamie, and learning the boy’s true parentage was not an option.  Lord John, who’s married Geneva’s sister Isabela by this time, agree to take Willie in and raise him as their own.  Jamie leaves Willie behind, his heart destroyed for the second time.  Sometimes I wonder why I love this show.  By the way, I just realized that Jamie’s two-decade separation was a lot shittier than Claire’s.  Poor baby.

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Happy Days Are Here Again…Sort Of

Outlander Season 3 2017

Now that we’ve gotten past the unpleasant 20 years that Jamie and Claire spent apart (Jamie especially), let’s go on to the hot couple getting back together!  Roger Wakefield, Brianna’s love interest and the son of the late Reverend Wakefield, does some research and learns of Jamie’s whereabouts 20 years after Claire walked through the stones.  It turns out he was running a printing press in Edinburgh under the name Alexander Malcolm (look, I know that this last alias was made up of Jamie’s actual middle names, but let’s be honest…the man’s had more name changes than P. Diddy). Claire feels some type of resentment that Roger told her where to find Jamie…at first.  Then she comes to her senses and decides to go get her man back.  She stitches up an 18th century dress complete with pockets and whatnot, buys some Loving Care to dye her grey streaks brown (was anyone else confused as to why Claire looked older in the 20th century than she does in the 18th century when she went back?  It ain’t the dye job), tells her baby girl goodbye and takes a little trip to Scotland.  And what does Jamie do when he sees Claire again?  He drops like a sack of potatoes.

Needless to say, Claire and Jamie spend the day together trying to get to know each other again, and later that night, they go back to Jamie’s place (a whorehouse) and make luuurrrve.  I have to say, Claire and Jamie’s “I missed you” sex scene almost rivaled the wedding night scene.  Almost.  However, the honeymoon is short lived.  Claire kills some idiot that broke into the Fraser’s room trying to learn where Jamie hides his illegal liquor for his smuggling business, causing her and Jamie to bicker damn near the entire morning after (Claire tried to save the fool, but Jamie figured he should just go on to glory since he tried to rape Claire, causing a neverending argument).  Another idiot—working for the same fool that sent the first idiot—breaks into Jamie’s print shop to see if he can learn where the casks of liquor are stored, but comes across Jamie’s seditious pamphlets instead.  He grabs them and burns Jamie’s print shop, with 16-year-old Ian Jr. still inside (and the boy was getting his freak on while all this was happening).

Thankfully Ian is unharmed, but when Claire and Jamie take him back home to Lallybroch, Jenny isn’t too psyched to see Claire again.  Jenny even goes out of her way to let Claire know that Jamie’s married to someone else by sending word to his wife and stepchildren to stop by the house.  If that’s not bad enough, Jamie’s wife is none other than slack ass Laoghaire (who became crazier and a lot less attractive in 20 years)!   When Laoghaire learns that Jamie still loves Claire and always will, she shoots him—in all honesty, she was trying to shoot Claire, but missed—and demands a divorce, as well as alimony to boot!  Jamie remembers finding a lost treasure on a remote island from back in his prison days, and he decides to use it to pay Laoghaire’s crazy ass.  However, when young Ian swims out to the island to retrieve it, he’s kidnapped by pirates and taken to Jamaica.  Claire and Jamie waste no time going after him.

Jamaican Me Crazy

Outlander - Claire and Jamie 4 (Alt)

It turns out that the pirates that snatched up Ian work for none other than Ms. Gellis Duncan herself, and if she wasn’t a witch before, she damn sure is one now.  I mean, this chick bathes in blood, consults with mediums, holds esoteric rituals, kidnaps and rapes young boys (Ian included) before sacrificing them, the whole nine.  Claire and Jamie take two of Jamie’s prison inmates, Mr. Willoughby (a Chinese gentleman that Jamie befriended a few years back), and Fergus (who’s now completely grown up) to help them get Ian back.  Fergus drops a bomb on Claire and Jamie:  he’s marrying Marsali, Laoghaire’s daughter.  In case you were wondering, yes, Marsali is almost as annoying as Laoghaire.  Her favorite name for Claire was “hoor” (whore), never mind the fact that Jamie was Claire’s man first, and they never were officially divorced.  Too bad Ms. Marsali never learned that her mother is a murderous ho herself.

Anyway, after a rough ass trip over the seven seas (one that includes a deadly epidemic, a conspiracy, Jamie and Claire being separated again thanks to the British, a storm that takes out half the crew, a slightly disturbed doctor on a nearby island and Fergus and Marsali’s wedding), the gang finally make it to Jamaica.  Before y’all start having visions of sunny beaches, bright skies, the sound of reggae music and weed crops as far as the eye can see, please keep in mind that this ain’t the same Jamaica we see on TV nowadays, and Claire soon learns that.  1700’s Jamaica is full of colonialism and slavery.  Claire finds herself sickened by the slave auctions and begs Jamie to help one poor soul that’s being molested while he’s put on display (I’m not making this up).  Jamie buys the man and intends to free him after he helps them try to find Ian.  Some viewers accused Claire and Jamie of being white saviors using a slave for their own selfish purposes, but that subject is for another blog post.

Long story short, Claire and Gellis later reunite at the governor’s party on the island, we learn that the new governor is Lord John Grey (who still has a crush on Jamie and manages to pardon Jamie for all his crimes in Scotland), and they later learn that Gellis has been holding Ian this entire time.   Just to backtrack a bit, do you remember when I said that Gellis was consulting with mediums?  She hired a woman named Margaret and her unscrupulous brother to tell her exactly how Scotland can free itself from English rule (Claire treated Margaret while she was in Edinburgh, ironically enough).  Margaret basically told Gellis that a 200-year-old baby would have to be sacrificed.  After Claire tells Gellis that she returned to the future pregnant with Jamie’s child, it doesn’t take long for Gellis to figure out that the 200-year-old baby is Brianna.  Gellis is all gung-ho to go back to the future and take out Brianna like The Terminator’s mama (there’s a Jamaican version of Craigh Na Dun in a nearby cave).  But what role does Ian play in all this?  He’s the human sacrifice Gellis needs to go back to the ’60s.  I really wish someone would tell this chick that people don’t have to get killed for the time travel stones to work.  Jamie and Claire find Gellis just in time and save Ian and Brianna by damn near cutting Gellis’s head off.  Jamie frees the young slave he bought (and I’m sure he went on to sire Bob Marley’s people…just joking), and Mr. Willoughby decides to stay in Jamaica, as he’s fallen in love with Margaret.  Oh yeah, and Margaret’s no good brother is killed, but no one cares.

If that ain’t enough, on the way back to Scotland, the ship encounters yet another storm, and this time Claire is thrown from the ship.  Thankfully, Jamie saves her and they’re washed up on the shores of Virginia!  Whoo!  Ms. Claire, if you thought Jamaica was a trip, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!

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Whew!  That was basically everything that happened in Outlander last season, so now you’re caught up to speed!  I’ll have a mini recap of episode 1 and a full recap of episode 2 from the new season up real soon!

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—Written by Nadiya

What did you think of Outlander’s third season?  Was it bonny or was it a load of bollocks (if you’re from the UK and/or watch the show, you know what I just said)?  Let me know in the comments section!

 

‘Bohemian Rhapsody’ Movie Review

What’s poppin’, y’all?  I saw Bohemian Rhapsody this past Saturday (Nov. 10, 2018), and I have to say…it was a killer movie (slight pun intended…you know, like “Killer Queen”?  Y’all get it!).  Just a bit of backstory:  I didn’t realize Queen existed until Wayne’s World was released back in 1992.  I was 10 years old.  Wayne, Garth, and a few of their other friends were listening to “Bohemian Rhapsody,” and I when I saw them bobbing their heads to the music, I fell in love with the song, although it was one of—if not the—most unorthodox compositions I’d ever heard in my young life.  My mother informed me that “Bohemian Rhapsody” was actually a popular song back when she was in high school, and that Freddie passed away from AIDS some time ago (a few months prior to the movie being released, to be exact).  That last tidbit made me sad of course, but nonetheless, I was a Queen fan for life.

So, when I heard about Bohemian Rhapsody being released November of this year, I had to see it.  The trailer appeared to be excellent, and I’ve always loved music biopics.  I wanted to watch the movie when the film premiered the week before last (Nov. 2, 2018), but between me being extremely sick and having money issues, it wasn’t a possibility.  But, I was finally able to see the film I’ve been waiting the last few months to watch this past Saturday night, and I was extremely pleased.

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Bohemian Rhapsody focuses on Queen’s early days from 1970, when Freddie first joins the band, and chronicles their time together up until 1985.  Although the film is described as a Queen biopic, the majority of the focus is on Freddie and his relationships, romantic and platonic.  There were rumors swirling around of the film being “heterowashed” simply because the trailer mostly focused on Freddie’s longtime girlfriend, Mary Austin.  This allegation is false.  The movie details Freddie’s romances with men and women, including the one person he was seeing that made you wanna come through the screen and slap him/her (no spoilers).  The audience also learns a lot about how the band created most of their iconic songs, and the experimentations they did to make the music come to life.

Rami Malek, aka Elliot from Mr. Robot (he’ll always be Elliot to me) crushed it as Freddie Mercury.  At the very least, he should be nominated for an Oscar and/or Golden Globe.  Gwilym Lee, the actor who portrays Brian May, looks like an exact duplicate of the real musician.  To be honest, Rami looked like Freddie come to life again (aside from the change in eye color).  Joseph Marzello is hardly recognizable as John “Deacy” Deacon (that’s the kid from Jurassic Park, by the way).  Ben Hardy also did a great job as Roger Taylor.  Mike Meyers makes an appearance in the film as well (a callback to Wayne’s World).  If you plan on seeing the movie, I dare you to try and point him out.

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A lot of people have reservations about the film due to some of the historical inaccuracies, but in my opinion, they don’t take away from the movie as a whole.  To be completely honest, all biopics take creative license.  There were historical inaccuracies in well-renowned biopics such as Ray, Walk the Line, The New Edition Story, Straight Outta Compton, and What’s Love Got to Do With It, just to name a few.  My advice is to not let a few changes to the real story deter you from watching it if you really want to see it.  My only minuscule gripe with the film is how certain events in the beginning and end of the flick happen too perfectly.  For example, at the start, Freddie meets the band literally five seconds after they lose their lead singer and wastes no time asking to be his replacement.  Now true, I just finished saying that creative license doesn’t take away from the film as a whole, but at the same time, you can’t help but think yourself, “I know he didn’t get in the band that easily.”  Like I said though, that was a small gripe.  I can suspend my disbelief and still enjoy the scene, as well as the last “perfect” scene (once again, no spoilers, y’all).  To be honest, the last perfectly put together part of the film made me a bit misty-eyed.

Bottom line y’all, this movie was boss.  If you’re a Queen fan or not a Queen fan, or you’re just a neutral person that’s just realizing that you’ve heard some of their songs on movies, TV shows, and commercials, but never knew it, go out and watch Bohemian Rhapsody.  The acting is superb, the script is well-written, and the music will have you flocking to your Apple Music and Spotify accounts to download any Queen songs you don’t already have.  This flick is well worth your money.

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—Written by Nadiya

So what did y’all think about Bohemian Rhapsody?  Did the creative license throw you off or were you fine with it?  Did Rami Malek do a great job as Freddie Mercury?  Did you think Freddie was “heterowashed” in the film?  Are you a Queen fan?  What made you become a fan to begin with?  When did you first hear the song the movie is named for?  Let me know in the comments section!