“Blood of My Blood” – Recap and Review

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DON’T CALL IT A COMEBACK!  Well actually, I do have to call a lot of these characters’ appearances in this episode comebacks because there’s so damn many of them, and we haven’t seen these folks in ages!  Let’s hop to it!

Somewhere in the North

Poor Meera is dragging Bran in the snow, and slowly losing the strength to do it.  Bran is still warged out, seeing images of him falling from the tower, the Mad King ordering folks to be burned, young Ned Stark, Robb being killed, Leaf creating the White Walkers, all that good stuff (or should I say, nightmarish stuff?).  In the meantime, the wights are gaining on them.  Meera can’t go any further and stops.  Bran finally comes out of his trance, and lets Meera know that the wights have caught up to them.  Sure enough Meera sees them and shields Bran, apologizing.  Then, a man who looks a lot like the angel of death, kills all the wights with fire and a sickle.  He orders Meera and Bran to come with him, as more of the wights will return.  Naturally, they go with him and they ride off.

On the Way to Sam’s House

Sam is nervously chatting about his home, and Gilly senses his anxiety.  He tells her about how nasty his father was to him and advises her to tell the family that little Sam (who’s growing like a weed!) is really his, so his dad will take her and the baby in.  Gilly asks what Sam told the family about her.  Sam only told them that he met her up north, but he never said how far north.  He never mentioned she was a wildling, and Sam advises not to even bring the subject up.  When they get to Sam’s House (which rivals the Red Keep…Sam’s folks have money!), they meet up with Sam’s mother and sister, both of which are very sweet.  Sam’s sister even hooks Gilly up with a dress for dinner.  Too bad the shit hits the fan later.

King’s Landing

The time has come for Margaery’s Walk of Atonement, and Tommen’s extremely nervous for her.  The High Sparrow puts his mind at ease and even allows him to see Margaery.  It’s made clear that Tommen has been completely taken in by The High Sparrow, and Margaery appears to be, too…emphasis on appears.  Margaery goes on about how The High Sparrow has opened up her mind and all that jazz, and Tommen just eats it all up like Barney Rubble sittin’ in front of a bowl of Fruity Pebbles.

Sam’s House (Douchebag Hall)

It’s dinner time, and Sam’s dad and brother have returned from their hunt.  The once happy reunion has now become so tense, you could cut it with a knife.  All Daddy can do is stare at Sam and Gilly in contempt.  Sam’s uppity brother doesn’t have too much to say either, until Sam initiates small talk.  Sam’s mother offers bread and when he accepts, his dad decides to speak…to criticize his weight.  He then goes on to criticize the fact that Sam is studying to be a maester, and tells him he’s not a real man, since he’s got his nose stuck in books instead of fighting and killing people, because intelligence is the enemy!  Yeah, you’re definitely gettin’ the Father of the Year award.  When he starts going on about how Sam’s probably couldn’t wield a sword, Gilly promptly lets him know that Sam killed a Thenn and a White Walker.  Sam’s know-it-all brother says there’s no such thing as White Walkers.  Gilly lets him know that they do exist and Sam killed one up close and personal.  She even tells them that he’s a greater warrior than either one of them.  BUUUUURRRNNNNN!  The sweet feeling of seeing Gilly tell these fools off is short lived, however.  She mentioned in her rant that they were north of The Wall when they encountered the White Walkers.  Daddy caught that statement and realized that Gilly was a Wildling.  He goes on and on about how Sam’s a disgrace and he won’t inherit their family sword, blah, blah, blah.  He exiles Sam from the house and tells him that Gilly can stay on as the kitchenmaid, and they’ll raise “the bastard.”  After dinner, Sam apologizes to Gilly for his father’s abominable behavior, and she let’s him know that she’s not mad at him.  She’s angry that awful people can treat good people badly and get away with it.  Sam says goodbye to Gilly and leaves the room…and comes right back to get his girl and his baby.  You go, boy!  To make the scene even better, before Sam leaves, he goes in the dining hall and steals the old man’s sword.  That’s gangsta.

Like a Boss

Braavos

The Artist Formerly Known as Arya is watchin’ this blame play again.  This time, they’re depicting The Purple Wedding, and once again, they’re gettin’ shit wrong.  I read something on You Tube’s comments section that definitely rang true about this Braavosi take on Westerosi royalty.  A commentator basically pointed out that with the exception of Sansa and Robert Baratheon, all the characters’ traits are pretty mixed up.  Cersei is seen as loving and kind.  Joffrey is portrayed as a well meaning ruler, who always treats people with respect.  Tyrion is a greedy, menacing and conniving man, only caring about his own selfish needs.  And Ned, of course, is played as a complete idiot that actually wanted to take the throne for himself.  I know it’s all fiction, but their depiction of events astounds me.  They couldn’t be more wrong.  Anyway, Arya is really getting a kick out of Joffrey’s death scene, but she’s visibly moved by the actress’ portrayal of Cersei.  After the performance, she goes backstage to poison the actress’ whiskey.  The actress sees Arya backstage and asks her about her interest in the theatre, seeing as she’s seen her in the audience.  As they speak, Arya sees that the actress is indeed a kind woman, and she praises her performance.  Arya leaves, and the actress is about to drink her poisoned whiskey, all the while being ridiculed by the other performers for proposing Arya’s idea on how to make Cersei’s last speech more realistic.  Just when she’s about to drink the liquor, Arya knocks it out of her hand and tells her that the young actress in the troupe is plotting to have her killed.  She leaves again, but is seen by that damn blonde heffa!

The blonde heffa goes back to snitch on Arya to Jaqen H’ghar (who’s cutting off a dude’s face!  I always knew they cut off the dead folks’ faces, but I don’t wanna see that shit!), just beggin’ to kill Arya.  Jaqen gives her the go ahead, but informs her not to make Arya suffer.  The blonde witch practically skips off in glee.  I have a feeling she’ll go back on her word.  Arya goes to the place where she hid her sword, Needle, and retrieves it, getting ready for the ensuing battle.  A girl may be a cold blooded killer, but only when people are evil and cruel.  Decent people deserve a chance to live.  Hence, Arya Stark is Arya Stark once again.

King’s Landing…Or Should I Say, Jonestown?

The troops have assembled on the streets, and Margaery’s dad gives the weakest battle speech in the history of the world.  The second Margaery’s Walk of Atonement is about to start, Jaime and the troops march up to The Sept, along with Granny Tyrell.  Jaime threatens to kill The Sparrows if Margaery isn’t released.  The High Sparrow claims they’re all ready to die, but there’s no need to fight.  The Walk of Atonement has been cancelled thanks to Margaery bringing another person into the faith.  And who shows up as the new poster boy for The Seven?  Tommen.  Oh yes, The High Sparrow is playing him like a fiddle.  Now this man pretty much has absolute power, a fact that Granny Tyrell actually has to explain to her son (this guy must be adopted).  To add insult to injury, Tommen fires Jaime from the Kingsguard for going against The High Septon.  Wow.  On a side note, now that The High Sparrow is more powerful than the king, can he at least take a bath?  Their scriptures say you have to be humble, not filthy.

Walder Frey’s House (Jeffrey Dahmer’s Wet Dream)

Walder Frey’s evil ass is back, and he’s pissed that Sansa’s great uncle has taken Riverrun over again.  He’s whining to his son about taking the castle back, but his son and the other men are saying they don’t have the manpower to do so, nor the leverage.  He tells them to show the Blackfish the weapons they used to kill Robb, Catelyn and Talisa as leverage, and if that doesn’t work, they have a further bargaining chip…  That’s when they bring out Edmure Tully, who’s apparently been locked up all this time in Frey’s dungeon.  By the way, Edmure is played by none other than Tobias Menzies, who also plays Frank/Black Jack Randall in “Outlander”!  He’s great in that show (check my recaps/reviews on “Outlander” if you’re interested).  Anyway, Frey let’s Edmure know that he’s “going home.”  I don’t see this ending well for him.

Flowers In the King’s Landing Attic

Jaime tells Cersei about him getting fired by Tommen and how he’s been reassigned to take back Riverrun.  Damn, everyone’s after this damn castle, aren’t they?  Cersei reminds him that being reassigned is better than being in the Sept dungeon.  Jaime would rather kill The High Sparrow for corrupting Tommen and humiliating Cersei, but Cersei tells him to be patient and go ahead and take the castle back.  Jaime doesn’t want to leave her alone when she’s on trial, but Cersei lets him know that it’s going to be a trial by combat, and she has The Mountain.  I remember the last time The Mountain participated in a trial by combat.  It wasn’t pretty.  Cersei goes on to tell him that in time, their enemies will see just how powerful they are (if that show at the Sept was any demonstration, y’all really need to get your shit together).  Then Jaime and Cersei start making out.  It would be touching and romantic…if they weren’t brother and sister.

Okay

A Forest With Lots of Snow

Meera watches her and Bran’s newfound savior fill up a cup with animal blood (ill!) and asks why he helped them.  He answers that The Three Eyed Raven sent for him.  When Meera tells him that The Three Eyed Raven is dead, he tells her that now he lives again.  Bran wakes up from one of his freaky-deaky dreams, and the mysterious man says the last time he saw Bran, he was a little boy.  Bran asks who he is, and he takes off the hood and scarf covering his face, revealing himself.  It’s Benjen Stark!  And he looks half-dead!  Hey, I thought he was all the way dead!  Turns out that Benjen was attacked by the White Walkers and almost made into one, but The Children (Leaf’s people) found him and shoved some dragonglass into his heart to stop the process, hence the reason he looks slightly zombiefied.  He tells Bran that he has to learn how to control his power before the Night King comes, and he gives him the blood to drink (gross!).  Benjen says that one day, the king will encounter the humans, and Bran will be ready when that time comes.

Somewhere In the Desert

Dany and Daario are riding along with the Dothraki when she asks him how many ships it would take for all of them and the Unsullied to sail to Westeros.  Daario estimates it would be about one thousand.  He also comments that she’s a conqueror, not just a queen.  She appears flattered, but she still has every intention of taking the Seven Kingdoms.  She makes the horde stop and wait for her as she rides off.  Some time passes, and Daario is about to go looking for her, when a large shadow looms over their heads.  It’s Drogon, and that bad boy has gotten even bigger!  When he lands, we see Dany mounting him.  She tells everyone that the khals would always choose three bloodriders to fight alongside them, but she is no khal, and wants all the Dothraki to fight with her.  She asks them if they will ride with her across the sea and help her conquer the Seven Kingdoms just as Khal Drogo promised he would.  They wholeheartedly stand by her and cheer.  Even Daario is moved, and Drogon lets out a battle cry.  Take a lesson, Daddy Tyrell.  That’s how you give a war speech.

Once again, this episode did not disappoint, and it was great to see all the faces, good and evil alike.  I always wondered what happened to Benjen and Edmure, and now a piece of the puzzle has been solved.  That’s one cool thing about this season:  it’s answering questions that we as the audience have always had.  We even got to see whether or not Sam’s dad is the bastard he always said he was, and it turns out the dude is much worse!  My only gripe with this episode was that Tyrion was missing, and no, fake Tyrion playing a murderous asshole in a wack play is not a substitute.  Another point…this didn’t bother me, but I couldn’t help but notice that for the first time ever I believe (excluding the very first episode), we didn’t visit The Wall.  That tripped me out a little, considering that nearly every episode this season opens up with The Wall.  Despite all that, this episode was fantastic, and now I’m really excited to see Arya’s showdown with that blonde heffa.  Man, I hope Arya skewers her.

—Written by Nadiya

So what did y’all think about “Blood of My Blood?”  Was it another great episode of “Game of Thrones,” or do you think it was weak as all get out?  Do you think Arya will survive the blonde heffa’s wrath?  Did you miss Tyrion this episode?  What did you think about Sam’s father?  Were you happy to see Walder Frey, Benjen and Edmure again?  Which war speech did you prefer:  Lord Tyrell’s or Dany’s?  Also, do you feel like Margaery is playing a game, or do you think she really has embraced the faith?  What do you think about Tommen being manipulated?  Give me your thoughts!

“The Fox’s Lair” – Recap and Review

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FINALLY!  The Frasers have come back…to Scot-land!  I had to give y’all some Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson realness in there.  That’s right y’all, “Outlander” has gone back to its roots!  Even the theme song is completely in English again!  Jamie started wearing his kilts like he used to!  The old show is back…sort of.

Jamie and Claire have gone back to Lallybroch, and they’re a lot happier than they were in Paris.  Murtagh is back with them, along with Jenny, Ian, Fergus and all the other kids.  Claire’s advice to plant potatoes is working out for Jenny and Ian, just as she said it would.  However, everyone’s happiness is short lived when Jamie gets a letter from his cousin publicly declaring him an ally of King James and Prince Charles.  Jamie’s cousin even took the liberty of forging his name on the letter!  Ah, the joys of family!  Now Jamie is an official traitor of King George (the current king) and a card carrying member of the Jacobites!  Thanks, Jamie’s dumb cousin!

Claire suggests she and Jamie take the whole family and go to Ireland, but Jamie knows that’s not logical.  It’s inevitable that the Jacobite Rebellion is going to go on as planned, so Jamie runs this idea by Claire:  instead of trying to stop the rebellion, why don’t they try to win the rebellion and change history that way?   It takes some convincing, but Claire agrees.

So let me get this straight…Claire and Jamie spend the last seven episodes trying to stop the rebellion, and now they up and decide the rebellion should go on as planned so they can win it??

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Alright, so we’re all for the Jacobite Rebellion going on now.  Yay…  First order of business is gathering up enough men to fight the British.  Jamie has some support from a few families, but he decides to get a few more good men from Lord Lovat aka Simon Fraser…his grandpa.  Jenny makes it known that Lord Lovat is a despicable man that is so hateful, he tried to have their mother kidnapped before her wedding day because he had some bad blood with the MacKenzie clan.  Jamie sees no other alternative and arranges to see the nasty old man anyway.  Later that night, Jamie admits that his father was actually a bastard and was the product of Lord Lovat gettin’ his freak on with the kitchenmaid.  Lovat decided to officially declare Jamie’s dad as his son, even though he never treated him with love or kindness.  Hey, Ned Stark didn’t even do that (giving his son his name, I mean).  Claire lets Jamie know that his dad’s parentage doesn’t matter to her, and then she and Jamie make lurrrve…and the screen fades to black.  Boooo!  Claire wakes up in the middle of the night to find Jamie cradling his infant niece/nephew and speaking to her/him in Gaelic (Jenny had another baby since they went to Paris, but it was never specified if it was a boy or a girl).  Jenny sees Claire watching them, and tells her about how people tell their infant children all the things that’s on their mind to comfort themselves.  Claire agrees, but appears a bit heartbroken to see Jamie’s heart to heart with the baby.

The next day, Claire and Jamie say their goodbyes to everyone and head out to Beaufort Castle.  On the ride up there, Jamie lets Claire know that Lord Lovat kept an alliance with both King James and King George, and he’s had three wives, two of which were joined in marriage thanks to Lovat’s evil deeds.  What a guy.  When they get to the castle, the first person they meet is Colum MacKenzie!  Colum tries to tell Claire that he’s happy to see her, but Claire tells him to save the bullshit and reminds him of the witch trial (see season one for that!).  Colum is all like, “That wasn’t me!  That was Lagohaire (pronounced lee-ry.  A fitting name for that heffa)!”  Then, Jamie’s grandpa shows up and proves to be everything Jamie and Claire said he was.  He rudely scorns Jamie for marrying a Sassenach (a British woman, for those that don’t know), and tells her to leave so the men can talk politics.  Claire leaves, but not before giving one of her death glares.

As Claire waits for Jamie to come back out, Lagohaire’s slutty ass makes a comeback!  “Mistress Claire!  I’ve changed!  I’ve gotten right with Jesus!  I’ve seen the light!  I’m saved and sanctified!  Please forgive me for trying to have you burned alive!”  And Claire basically responds with:

Shut the F Up 2 (Ice Cube)

Claire doesn’t care if white-as-a-damn-ghost Lagohaire has gotten right with God or not.  She’s not trying to give her any forgiveness.  Lagohaire starts crying.  Good for her ass.  Claire tells Jamie she feels better after telling her off, and Jamie lets it be known that she’s better than him.  He’s not even trying to give Lagohaire the time of day.  Ha, ha!  Claire joins Jamie for dinner (but has to remain silent), and watches Jamie try to convince everyone to fight for King James and Prince Charles.  Colum and Lovat aren’t bitin’, and when Lovat’s son tries to agree with Jamie (in a weak attempt to impress Lagohaire), Lovat quickly puts him down and humiliates him.  He even flirts with Lagohaire to rub salt in the wound.  This dude is a real bastard.

Jamie decides to speak to Lovat on his own to try to convince him to fight with the rebellion.  Later that night, Claire is walking down the hallway when she sees Lovat beat up an old woman.  Claire helps the woman to her feet, and learns that she’s Lovat’s psychic friend.  The lady then runs from Claire like she’s a ghost.  The next day, Jamie meets with his grandpa, and has to endure (to an extent) listening to this man call his mother a whore and his dad a bastard.  Takes a bastard to know a bastard, if you ask me.  Lovat makes a deal with Jamie:  he’ll back up the Jacobite Rebellion if Jamie gives him Lallybroch.  Jamie’s not tryin’ to give up Lallybroch that easily, of course.  This fool actually tells Jamie if he doesn’t wanna give up Lallybroch, he can give up Claire!  He even warns Jamie that Claire can’t be guarded all day, and there’s plenty of men at the castle that would violate her.  Wow.  What a guy.  Jamie warns him in return that Claire is La Dame Blanche, and if a man rapes her, his dick will explode and his soul will burn in hell.  That scared the shit out of Lovat’s old ass.  Despite that, Jamie is seriously considering handing Lallybroch over to that old bastard.  That night, Claire and Jamie decide to have Lovat’s son on their side, that way, Lovat’s hand will be forced into joining the rebellion.  However, considering that Lovat’s son is weak willed, he’ll need some convincing…and who better than Scotland’s favorite ho!

Claire asks Lagohaire to speak to Lovat’s son and boost his confidence to convince him and his dad to join the Jacobites.  Lagohaire, whose mind basically stays in the gutter, goes on her newfound spiritual diatribe:  “I’m saved and sanctified!  I’m not gonna spread my legs just to help you out!”  Claire tells the stupid girl that it’s not about sex, it just involves her being friendly to him to build his self esteem up.  To sweeten the deal, Claire tells Lagohaire if she does it, she’ll find a way for Jamie to forgive her for what she did (oh, yeah…she’s all upset because Jamie didn’t give her the time of day, just like he said wouldn’t.  Wah, wah.).  Of course, that heffa agrees.

In the castle, it appears that Jamie has fessed up and told Colum that the British will win the rebellion and the Highlander culture will be destroyed.  He goes on to say the only way to prevent that from happening is to win the war.  Colum, hardheaded as ever, is still against the war and showing any sort of loyalty to Charles.  He figures that since the rebellion has no outside support, it’ll be over before it starts, just like all the other rebellions, and their culture will go on.  Colum makes Jamie promise not to trade in his home for a war he can’t win.  Jamie promises he’ll do whatever it takes to keep his family and the fate of Scotland safe.

Claire puts her plan of (platonically) hookin’ up Laoghaire and Lovat’s son into action.  She sets them up together near the chapel and leaves them alone to talk.  It’s clear Lagohaire would rather be with someone else…perhaps a tall, sexy redhead with a nice set of pecs and a tight butt?  When Claire goes into the chapel, she finds Lovat’s psychic friend, who reveals that the reason Lovat was beating her was due to one of her visions.  Claire presses her about the vision and she tells her that she saw a man chop the hell out of Lovat with an ax.  Okay, she saw the shadow of an ax, but my first description was a lot better.  The psychic friend admits that sometimes the future can change, and Claire tells her that she could convince Lovat to change his behavior to prevent the outcome.  She tells Claire that Lovat would simply kill the messenger.  Then Laoghaire’s useless ass comes runnin’ up, saying that Lovat’s son ran off after she let him look down her dress at her boobs.  Dumbass.

Jamie decides to give Lovat Lallybroch.  At a house meeting, Lovat tells Jamie and Collum that if Jamie signs the contract to give him Lallybroch, he’ll back the rebellion, but if he doesn’t sign, he’ll sign a neutrality agreement with Colum, showing that he’s against the rebellion.  Just then, Claire has a “vision” of Lovat being threatened by an ax, with the floor covered in white roses.  The white rose is the Jacobite symbol.  Just when Lovat threatens to cut out Claire’s tongue, his son stops him and makes his stand with the Jacobites.  Lovat signs the neutrality agreement.

Before they leave Castle Hell, Colum tries to convince Jamie to give up the rebellion and go back home to his family, but to no avail.  Claire also tells Jamie to thank Lagohaire for what she did.  Jamie thanks her, and she tells him, “I hope to one day have your forgiveness.”  Jamie walks off (ha, ha!).  Then she says under her breath, “And your love.”  That child hasn’t changed a damn bit.  Lovat’s son joins their party, and they ride off.  Down the road, Lovat’s men cut them off, and Lovat himself shows up.  It turns out that Lovat signed the agreement with Collum to save his skin if King George wins the war.  But, if King James and Prince Charles win the war, it’ll be documented that Lovat’s son was with the Jacobites, and he’s still in the clear.  Even if George’s men say something about Lovat’s son joining the Jacobites, he can always say that his son is his own man.  Either way, he won’t be hanged for treason.  Jamie begs Claire to tell him that he’s nothing like his grandfather.  Claire jokingly tells him that he actually has a teensy bit of shadiness in him, and they all ride off with their new army.

Well, ladies and gents, no one wanted the Frasers to return to Scotland more than I did, and once they did, I found the episode to be just…meh.  It wasn’t absolutely horrid, but it wasn’t great, either.  The sudden 180º shift with the rebellion threw me off, too.  I kid you not, I had to watch this damn episode twice to understand what the hell was going on.  I couldn’t believe they decided to go ahead with the rebellion after all the plotting and scheming they did in France!   Also, I’m starting to feel like the rest of the ladies out there…what’s up with the sex scenes?  Granted, I expected the sex scenes to be few and far between while Jamie was healing from his traumatic rape.  But now that Jamie’s slowly getting past it, I also expected the love scenes to pick up!  Whenever Claire and Jamie have a hot scene now, the picture fades to black!  Man, bye.  That love scene today had some serious potential and they ended right when it was about to get good!  Bring the lovin’ back!

My favorite parts were the times we saw the Frasers at Lallybroch, and when Claire blessed Lagohaire out.  Other than that, this episode didn’t do much for me.  However, I learned something tonight.  Deep down, I thought the location was effecting the show.  I thought that France was just too boring and that a move back to Scotland would liven things up.  I mean, whenever they discussed politics in Scotland last season, I was actually interested!  Tonight though, I learned that the problem isn’t the location.  The problem is the storyline.  This storyline is dull and lifeless, and no matter where Claire and Jamie go, as long as they droll on endlessly about the Jacobite Rebellion, the show will never pick up.  It hit me that my favorite episodes so far this season were “Faith” and “La Dame Blanche” (in that order).  They took a page from the first season and kept us entertained and full of emotion.  They also strayed away from hardly any talk of the rebellion, which made for a much more interesting hour.  The Lallybroch and Lagohaire scenes also were also devoid of a lot of talk about the rebellion, and as a result, they were a lot more entertaining than everything else.  So yeah, we no longer have boring ass games of chess to endure or drawn out conversations that could put Christian Bale to sleep (if you don’t get that joke, you don’t watch a lot of movies), but the trade off doesn’t help as long as we still have to deal with Jamie and Claire’s countless plotting that hardly goes anywhere.

Man, I miss the old “Outlander.”

—Written by Nadiya

So what did y’all think about “The Fox’s Lair”?  Was it boring, or did you enjoy it?  What do you think about Claire and Jamie pulling a 180º and actually supporting the rebellion now?  Also, what did you think about Colum and Lagohaire making a comeback?  Is Simon Fraser aka Lord Lovat a good addition to the show in your opinion?  Do you think “Outlander” has hit the sophomoric slump?  Which location did you prefer, France or Scotland?  Give me your thoughts!

 

 

 

 

“The Door” – Recap and Review

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Sorry I’m late to the party, y’all.  Got a little busy with some spring cleaning yesterday (and I still have some to finish up).  Well…let’s do this!

The Wall

The show always starts at The Wall this season, doesn’t it?  Anyway, Sansa’s stitching something together when she gets a letter from someone, asking her to meet up in Mole’s Town.  Sansa and Brienne get there, and see Littlefinger’s no good ass.  Sansa goes in on him for selling her to Ramsay, telling him about the abuse she suffered at his hands.  Littlefinger tries to convince Sansa that he’s still on her side (boy, bye), but she’s not tryin’ to hear it, and tells him that she never wants to see him again.  She also rejects his help in taking the North (yeah, girl!  I’m lovin’ Sansa this season).  Before he leaves, Littlefinger lets her know that her great-uncle has taken control of Riverrun, and has the Tully forces behind him.  They can possibly help her take back the North.  Sansa tells him that she has her brother’s army, and Littlefinger can’t resist throwing shade at the fact that Jon’s her half-brother.  God, he irks me.

Braavos

The Artist Formerly Known as Arya is sparring with that blonde heffa once again, and even though Arya has her sight back, the blonde heffa bests yet again…this time without the damn stick.  I have to admit, even though I can’t stand that witch, the way she took Arya out is pretty badass.  I found out that she’s known as “The Waif,” but I’m gonna keep calling her the blonde heffa.  I like that name better.  Anyway, the blonde heffa mocks Arya, saying that she’ll never be one of the Faceless Men, when Jaqen H’ghar shows up.  He tells Arya the heffa has a point, due to the fact that the Faceless Men are usually slaves and what have you, not noblemen or noblewomen.  He then gives Arya another assignment:  to kill an actress.

Arya goes to the play that features the actress, and it turns out to be a production about Westeros, namely the Lannisters.  Arya’s enjoying the play…until they feature Ned Stark as a complete idiot.  Not only that, but they recreate Ned’s execution, and reveal to Arya that Sansa eventually married Tyrion.  Keep in mind that Arya was with the Hound when Sansa was forced to marry Tyrion, so she had no idea that happened, and she doesn’t look too happy about it.  Arya goes on to scope out the actress she’s assigned to kill, and she seems to be a nice lady.  Arya goes back to tell Jaqen how she can poison the woman, and also tells him that the actress appears to be decent.  Jaqen says that a price has been paid, and the execution will go on as scheduled.  Well, damn!  So much for the House of Black and White sojourning for truth and justice for all!  Arya deduces that the younger actress that played Sansa put the hit out on the lady out of jealousy, and Jaqen warns her that a servant of the Many Faced God does not ask questions.

The Three Eyed Raven’s Cave

Bran wargs out and learns that Leaf’s people created the White Walkers (whaaatttt?).  When he awakens, Leaf tells Bran that they created them to protect themselves against human beings that were cutting down their sacred trees and treating the Earth like shit.  What is this, a homicidal version of Ferngully?

The Iron Islands (Land of Assholes)

The day of the Kingsmoot has arrived.  It’s basically a political debate, and Yara gives her speech about how she’ll be a great queen.  However, the chauvinistic assholes of the Iron Islands put her down and say that Theon should be king, since he’s the male heir of Balon Greyjoy.  Theon speaks up for Yara just as he promised (oh yeah, and he got a haircut!  He looks like how he did in the first three seasons!), and it looks like Yara has the Kingsmoot won.  Then, Euron shows up.  He goes on to make fun of Theon getting captured by Ramsay and Yara losing the castle she took hold of, and even throws a dick joke in there.  Funny.  Yara accuses Euron of killing Balon, and this fool doesn’t even deny it!  Not only that, but the idiots of the Iron Islands don’t say a word about this fool killing the king!  Euron goes on to make another damn dick joke at Theon’s expense, and says that he’ll take a fleet of ships to Meereen and unite with Dany to take over the seven kingdoms by marrying her (oh yeah, and he manages to throw in a third dick joke.  Ha, ha.).  Dany don’t want your ugly ass!  Just like that, Euron is elected king.  While going through his inauguration (which involves him nearly drowning), Yara, Theon and a few other Ironborn folks get the hell out of dodge.  When Euron recovers (’cause you know, evil never dies!), he asks, “Where’s my niece and nephew?  Let’s murder them!”  And whaddya know?  Half the damn island goes with Euron to murder Yara and Theon.  This is why I can’t stand the Ironborn.  When he and his flunkies go to look for them, they see that Yara and Theon’s crew not only left, but they took the best ships of the fleet.  Euron makes his first decision as king, and demands everyone to cut down every tree they can find (what damn trees?  All I ever see on those ugly ass islands are rocks and grey skies!) and have the women sew sails so they can build more ships and track them down.  That’ll give them a six month head start against you, idiot.

Vaes Dothrak

Dany is speaking with Jorah and Daario in private, where she tells Jorah that although she’s banished him twice, he saved her life, so she can’t take him back or send him away.  Jorah says that he must send her away because he has greyscale, and he shows her how much it’s spread up his arm.  He finally admits that he loves her and walks away from her.  Dany makes him stop, and commands him to find a cure for the greyscale and to come back to her when he’s well, as she needs him by her side when she takes the seven kingdoms.  Dany then rides off with the Dothraki, while Jorah watches.  That’s it.  I expected more after last week.  I will say that I liked Dany’s hair this episode.

Meereen

Tyrion, Varys, Missandei and Grey Worm have another political pow wow, where the discuss the lack of killings that have taken place since the agreement was made between Meereen and Slaver’s Bay.  Varys is happy that a “fragile peace” has been made, but Tyrion says that it’s not enough.  They need someone to let it be known that Dany is responsible for that peace.  They have an audience with Kinvara, another priestess of the Lord of Light (Lord, have mercy).  Kinvara sees Dany as the princess that was promised, just like Melisandre sees Jon as the prince that was promised (and before that, Stannis).  I couldn’t help but notice that Kinvara has the same necklace that Melisandre does.  I wonder if she turns into an old hag when she takes it off.  Kinvara is more than happy to spread the word (and even mentions to have non-believers burned, much to Tyrion’s disagreement), but Varys shows that he doesn’t trust her, and compares her ramblings to Melisandre’s.  Kinvara tells him that horrible things happen for a reason, and that Varys’ castration led to him being a great and powerful man.  She even brings up the fact that a name was called out when Varys’ privates were thrown in the fire, and asks if he’d like to know the name that was called.  For the first time in the history of the series, Varys looks shook.  Kinvara tells him that if he’s Dany’s true friend, he has nothing to fear.  Sure…

The Three Eyed Raven’s Cave…Once Again

Everyone in the cave is asleep, except for Bran, who’s clearly bored.  He tries to wake The Three Eyed Raven up by throwing shit at him, but to no avail.  So, to pass the time, he decides to warg on his own.  When he does, he finds himself standing amongst an army full of wights.  He walks past all of them, and comes across the king of the White Walkers himself, who looks right at Bran!  Then, the other wights notice him, and the king shows up right behind Bran and grabs his arm.  Bran wakes up screaming, awakening the others.  The Three Eyed Raven knows that the king touched Bran, and sure enough, there’s a mark on Bran’s arm.  Now that Bran has the mark, not only does the king know where he is, but he now has the ability to come inside the cave.  The Three Eyed Raven tells Bran that they must leave, and that the time has come for Bran to become him.  Bran asks him if he’s ready for that, and The Three Eyed Raven answers, “No.”  Way to go, Bran.  Suddenly, Bran wargs out again.

Back to The Wall!

Jon and the others are preparing strategy to take Winterfell.  At first it seems hopeless, but Jon thinks of houses that will help, and Sansa tells them about her uncle reinforcing the Tully’s troops (although she says that she learned that info from a raven that Ramsay received).  Sansa tasks Brienne with going to Riverrun to ask for her uncle’s help, but Brienne doesn’t like the idea of leaving Sansa alone with Ser Davos, Melisandre or Tormund (aka “that Wildling fellow with the beard!”  Ha, ha!).  Sansa insists that Jon will keep her safe.  Brienne asks if that’s the case, why did Sansa lie about how she found out about her uncle’s army?  Sansa doesn’t give an answer.  Later, Sansa gives Jon a present; a fur coat with her father’s sigil imprinted on the leather strap.  That’s what she was stitching earlier.  Jon thanks her for the present (another touching moment…aww!), and he says goodbye to Edd.  When they ride off, Edd is officially made the acting Lord Commander (“Shall we close the gate, Lord Commander?”  “I’m not the Lord—  Oh.  Yeah, close the bloody gate.”).

Shit Just Got Real… (The Three Eyed Raven’s Cave)

Meera is getting their things together, and telling Hodor how much she can’t wait to leave the cave and eat some good food.  Hodor agrees as only he can.  She senses something is amiss and goes outside.  Sure enough, the wight army is there, with the King of the White Walkers.  Yikes.  Those mofo’s didn’t waste any time, did they?  Leaf tells Meera to get Bran and run, and tries to hold them off as best she can using supernatural grenades.  The wight army and the White Walkers just walk right through that crap.  Meera tries to wake Bran up, but she can’t.  Bran’s dreaming of Winterfell once again, with Young Ned, Lyanna and Wylis (Hodor).  The Three Eyed Raven is with him.  Back in the cave, poor Hodor is scared out of his mind, and cowering.  Meera begs him to help her put Bran on the cart, but he’s too frightened to even move.  The wights make their way in the cave, and Meera has to fight them off.  Bran still won’t wake up.  Meera shakes him and tells him that they need Hodor and he has to warg into him.  The Three Eyed Raven tells Bran to listen to her, and he wargs into Hodor.  Hodor grabs the cart and pulls Bran away.  Meera and Leaf’s people continue to fight the White Walkers and the wights, and Meera succeeds in killing one of the White Walkers.  Summer the direwolf goes after the wights to protect her master and gets killed.  Damn, that basically means that Ghost and Nymeria are the only ones left!  As the others run off, the king enters the cave and prepares to kill The Three Eyed Raven.  In the dream, he tells Bran that the time has come and he must leave him.  The king kills him in the cave, and the Three Eyed Raven’s image in the dream disintegrates.  The wights catch up with the others, and Leaf sacrifices herself by allowing the wights to attack her before she blows them up with one of her grenades.  They reach the door at the back of the cave, and Hodor pushes it open.  Meera takes Bran and runs off saying, “Hold the door!”  In the dream, Wylis hears this and wargs out, having a seizure.  At the cave, Hodor holds the door shut as the wights try to break their way through.  Back in the dream, everyone sees Wylis having a seizure and runs to his aid.  All he can manage to say is, “Hold the door!  Hold the door!”  Then it becomes slurred:  “Holddadoor, holddadoor!”  Then it’s shortened to, “Holdoor!  Holdoor!”  Then eventually, the phrase becomes, “Hodor…hodor…hodor…”  All Bran can do is watch in horror, knowing that he’s responsible for Hodor becoming Hodor.  Meanwhile, Hodor holds the door as Meera and Bran vanish into the blizzard, and the wights tear him apart.  *Sob*  RIP Hodor.

This was a great episode, although I was bit disappointed with Dany’s arc.  Next week’s preview shows that we’ll see a little bit more from her.  I was so sad to see Hodor go.  I have to say though, it was really interesting to learn how he actually became Hodor.  This means that Bran warging into the past can effect the future.  Arya’s storyline has me intrigued as well.  Will she go along with killing the actress?  Also, it’s clear she will never completely sever the ties she has with her family.  Does the blonde heffa have a point about her never becoming one of the Faceless Men?  And back to the acting troupe that Arya’s infiltrated, I’ve noticed that everybody and their mama on the internet is havin’ a fit about the young actor showing his junk.  Personally, I don’t understand why.  It’s not like full frontal male nudity has never been shown on “Game of Thrones” before.  Back on subject, where are Yara and Theon going?  Are they going to try to start an alliance with Dany themselves?  That’ll be interesting to see as well.  And how ’bout Sansa?  I love the way that child has grown up and gotten tough this season!  By the way, I just realized something…if I’m not mistaken, this is the only “Game of Thrones” episode that didn’t feature Kings Landing or the Lannisters (not counting Tyrion, since he’s “against” them now)!  I have to say, the show was still enjoyable, nonetheless!  Besides, they’ll be back next week to go against The High Sparrow.  Stay tuned!

—Written by Nadiya

So what did you think about “The Door?”  Did you cry at the end?  Will you miss Hodor?  Do you think Bran will ever wake up, or is he lost in his dream?  Do you think Arya will truly be a Faceless Woman?  Also, what did you think about that play?  Are the Faceless Men people that kill for the greater good, or are they just cold blooded assassins?  What about Sansa?  How do you like her change in character?  Do you think Tyrion asking the priestess for help was a good thing or a bad thing?  Do you think Varys can trust her?  How about Theon and Yara?  Where do you think they’re going, or do you think they were just getting away from Euron’s crazy ass because they knew he’d kill them?  Give me your thoughts!

 

“Faith” – Recap and Review

Claire and Jamie 4

The show begins in Boston, 1954.  Claire’s daughter, Brianna, is looking at a picture book with birds, and she sees a Heron.  She asks Claire if she’s ever seen a Heron before, and Claire tells her that she saw one once in Scotland.  Brianna asks Claire when she went to Scotland, and Claire tells her that she was in Scotland a long time ago.  That’s an understatement.

We cut to 1740’s France, where Claire is going through a difficult and seemingly painful labor at the hospital.  Mother Hildegarde and the doctor/executioner are trying to help as best they can, but to no avail.  When Claire wakes up, she learns that her baby was stillborn.  In shock, Claire tearfully demands to see the baby.  *Sob*  Some time later, Mother Hildegarde lets Claire know that they baptized the baby as Faith, and buried her in the cemetery at the convent (Mother Hildegarde also lets her know that baptizing the baby was illegal since she wasn’t alive, but she wanted her buried in hallow ground).  A priest also comes in so Claire can give her last confession, as she has what’s known as “childbirth fever,” and may not live much longer.  Claire asks for Jamie, but he’s still locked up.

Later that night, Master Raymond sneaks in the hospital, on the run from King Louis, who is indeed out for blood.  He asks what Claire sees, and she answers that she sees wings.  Master Raymond tells her that wings mean healing, and he places his hands on her, taking the infection out of her.  He then reaches inside her, and tells her to call Jamie’s name as he pulls out the placenta, which was gross, but necessary, since that’s what was making her sick in the first place.  They say their goodbyes and the nuns return, thanking God for making Claire well again.  Mother Hildegarde informs Claire that Jamie is going to stay locked up for a while, and if he had killed his opponent, he would’ve been locked up longer even longer.  She goes on to tell Claire that Black Jack was sent back to England to have his pee-pee stitched up.  I swear, Black Jack is proof that evil never dies.  Claire lets it be known that she’ll never forgive Jamie for dueling with Black Jack.

Weeks later, Claire comes home.  Her servants all show their sympathy, namely Fergus, Suzette and Magnus, the butler that took her to the hospital.  Claire thanks Magnus for helping her.  She’s extremely depressed and angry while she’s home, and there’s also something going on with Fergus.  One night, while Claire’s crying in the hall, she hears Fergus having a nightmare.  Claire goes to his room to comfort him, and tries to get him to talk about it.  Fergus confesses that while he and Jamie were at the whorehouse, he snuck into a room to steal some perfume for Claire, and it turns out Black Jack was renting the room.  Once Black Jack caught Fergus in the room, he locked him inside and proceeded to rape him.  When Fergus cried for help, Jamie caught that no good bastard in the act, and the duel was back on.  *Sigh*  So, not only is Black Jack a rapist, but he’s also a damn pedophile.  There is a special place in Hell for that fool.  That’s why you got stabbed in the dick, Dick.

Claire - Sadistic Piece of Crap

Once Claire finds out the truth, she asks Mother Hildegarde if she can have a private audience with the king (Mother Hildegarde has some pull because she was the goddaughter of the old sun king…whatever that means).  Mother Hildegarde warns her that if she has a private audience to plead Jamie’s freedom, the king may ask her to sleep with him.  Gulp.  Claire pretty much accepts the risk, and soon after, she goes to Versailles.

King Louis sees Claire and she asks for Jamie’s release.  Louis agrees…if Claire does something for him.  Claire immediately expects him to break out the Viagra, but instead, he takes her to a strange room.  He lets her know that he would like her to judge two men on trial for witchcraft.  Sure enough, the men on trial are Master Raymond and That French Fucker.  Louis apparently wants Claire to be a judge since she is “Le Dame Blanche” and can see things that normal folks can’t.  Okaaaayyy…  Oh yeah, and the doctor/executioner was there, too.  Claire utters her now famous “Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ” phrase, as she correctly deduces that somebody ’bout to die.  Although Claire does not want either man to die for crimes they did not commit, she can’t resist the urge to screw with St. Germain, and I can’t say I blame her.  She lets it be known that he has darkness within him and tries to get him to admit to Mary’s rape.  TFF denounces her as a witch, and even admits to poisoning her.  Claire says that she is a witch, but a white witch that practices white magic (why does the bad magic have to be black?).  The king lets TFF know that Claire’s not on trial, he is.  Oopsie!  Claire backs off and lets Louis know that all mean have darkness, and Master Raymond’s and St. Germain’s are not different than anyone else’s.

Louis’ still not convinced, and wants a demonstration.  He brings out a snake a la tent revival preachers that are close to my neck of the woods, and says that if the snake kills the men, they were evil all along.  Instead, Claire opts to have the men drink her “poison” to see if it kills them.  Claire gets a bottle of bitter cascara and gives it to Master Raymond first.  He gets sick, but doesn’t die.  Claire passes the same cup to St. Germain, and the white stone on her necklace turns black (remember, that stone changes color when it’s near poison!)!  It turns out Master Raymond used his slight of hand to slip a little poison in that bad boy after he drank it.  Claire resists giving TFF’s evil ass the cup, but Louis insists.  Hey, you can’t say no to the king!  St. Germain starts crying and curses Master Raymond and Claire.  As a matter of fact, he takes a page out of The Exorcist and says that Claire sucks the devil’s cock.  Ass.  He drinks the poison and dies right there on the spot.  Bye, bitch.

Peace

Master Raymond is free to leave, but Louis lets it be known that he can never return to France.  Claire is heartbroken to see her friend go.  After the guards drag Master Raymond away, Claire asks Louis if her request to have Jamie released is granted, and he tells her that there’s still a debt to be paid.  He takes her back to his chambers runnin’ (leaving St. Germain’s dead body right there…ha, ha!), and Claire does it with the king…for two seconds.  I mean seriously, Louis pulled down his trousers, thrust inside Claire three times, and was finished.  Worse sex ever, I’m sure.  Shortest, most definitely.  That wasn’t even long enough to even feel guilty about, to be honest.  The king lets Claire know that her request will be fulfilled, and she can leave.

Jamie is released, looking like Santa Claus before his hair turned white, and he asks about the baby.  Claire tells him that Mother Hildegarde actually allowed her to see the baby before she was buried.  Poor Claire held on to little Faith for the rest of the day, until Louise came by the hospital later that night to see her.  Louise convinced her to let the baby go, both literally and figuratively, and once she did, Claire cried her eyes out.  Jamie asks if Claire hated him for what happened, and Claire tells him that she did, but at the same time, she asked Jamie to do the impossible and she put Frank before her family.  Jamie reminds Claire that Frank is her family, too.  Claire asks for forgiveness and Jamie tells her that she’s already forgiven.  Claire also fesses up about her record breaking two second sex with the king, and Jamie immediately forgives her for that as well.  Claire wonders if there’s anyway they can go on, and Jamie tells her they can get through this heartbreak together.  With that being said, Claire tells Jamie she wants to go home…to Scotland.  Jamie agrees, but not before visiting Faith’s grave.  *Sob*

Man…this was the best episode of the season so far, but at the same time, it was also the saddest.  What really made this show sad was that the characters that were victimized blamed themselves for the horrible things that happened.  Like most rape victims, Fergus felt ashamed after being sexually assaulted by Black Jack, and Claire and Jamie each blamed themselves for Faith dying.  Fergus is certainly not to blame for what happened to him, but I also have to say that neither Claire nor should Jamie take responsibility for Faith’s death.  Like Jamie said, Frank is Claire’s family as well, and he shouldn’t have to pay for his great-great grandfather being a complete bastard.  On the other hand, Lord knows Black Jack deserved that ass whuppin’ he took and more.  I still say that Jamie should’ve went full Lorena Bobbitt on him.  I still can’t believe St. Germain aka TFF is gone, but it’s fitting seeing as the Frasers are finally leaving France, praise Jesus.  I’m so happy they’re going back to Scotland.  Paris kind of got on my last nerve.  To say it’s the City of Light, the Frasers’ time there was pretty damn humdrum.  I want the excitement back!  Apparently next week, some shady Jacobite dude is trying to take Lallybroch from Jamie!  You know Jamie ain’t gonna let that shit happen!

—Written by Nadiya

So what did y’all think about “Faith”?  Was it the saddest episode of “Outlander” ever?  Are you excited to see Claire and Jamie go back to Scotland, or did you enjoy seeing them in France?  What did you think about St. Germain getting killed ?  And how ’bout that “sex” scene?  Jamie lasted longer on his wedding night than the king did, and keep in mind, Jamie was a virgin!  Did this episode make you cry at all?  Give me your thoughts!

Sheila E. “Irrelevant”?? Girl, Bye!

Prince and Sheila E

What’s up, ladies and gents?

In case you haven’t heard, Prince is going to be honored at this year’s Billboard Music Awards, and the artist chosen to do the tribute is none other than…Madonna.  Now, when Madonna was picked, the ladies that host “The Talk” discussed the topic.  Sheryl Underwood mentioned that Sheila E. should do the tribute with Madonna.  Makes sense to me.  However, Linda Perry (Sara Gilbert’s wife) was guest hosting the show and had this to say:

“In all fairness, Madonna was asked to do this and she was friends with Prince but you also have to think about it’s really the Billboard Awards, they think about who is hot and popular,” she argued. “They’re not gonna call up Chaka Khan and re-put together The Time and Sheila E. because they’re not relevant right now.”

Wow.  Now, I realize this conversation took place this past Friday (May 20th), and today’s Sunday (May 22nd), and I’m fashionably late to the party.  However, I just received the news feed on my phone this morning, and after seeing all the comments about it over the internet, as well as Sheila E.’s reaction and Linda Perry’s defense of her opinion, I have to put my two cents in.  First of all, I like Linda Perry.  Keeping it 100%, I had to Google her, because her name sounded familiar but I couldn’t remember exactly who she was.  When I looked her up, I saw that she was Sara Gilbert’s significant other, as well as the lead singer of 4 Non Blondes.  I loved their song, “What’s Up?” when I was in sixth grade, and I still love it to this day (as a matter of fact, I was listening to the song while typing this post).  Second of all, I’ve been seeing Madonna get a lot of flack for being chosen to do this tribute.  Why is that?  Madonna is a legend, just like Prince.  A few months ago, she did a mini tribute for Mr. Bowie during one of her concerts, and in my opinion, she killed it.  I must admit I never cared for her duet with Prince (“Love Song”); their voices just didn’t mesh well, and I wasn’t even aware that they dated for a short period of time.  However, Madonna is a good pick for this tribute.  She and Prince have a lot in common:  they both blew up in the 80’s, they were both mainstays on MTV, they both had enormous sex appeal and were seen as sex symbols, and they continued to make great music and evolve as time went on.  Hell, you can argue that Madonna actually is a female version of Prince.  On the other hand, Ms. Perry saying that Madonna is better suited to do a tribute than Shelia E. because the latter is “irrelevant,” is dead wrong.

Prince and Sheila 2

As LL Cool J once said, “there’s a flip side to every coin,” and there’s definitely a flip side to this one.  Yes, Madonna would do a great Prince tribute.  But in all honesty, when Prince passed, and I thought of people that would honor him on stage or an awards show, Sheila E. and The Time were the first people to come to mind.  Sheila E. is not irrelevant at all.  She’s a legend in her own right.  With her iconic albums The Glamorous Life and Romance 1600, her role in Krush Groove (one of my favorite films growing up), and her impeccable percussion skills, this lady is a doggone force of nature.  Considering that her father is Pete Escovedo, the former drummer of Santana, she was actually born from music royalty.  Not only that, but Sheila E. and Prince were basically the equivalent of Biggie Smalls and Puffy, or even Johnny Cash and June Carter.  They met each other in 1978, and were even engaged for a while.  After they broke up, they remained friends and were close until Prince’s death.  They maintained their working relationship as well, and continued to perform together in multiple shows.  Linda’s comments about The Time and Chaka Khan were wrong as two left shoes, too.  Prince helped create The Time, and he and Morris Day basically grew up together.  As for Chaka Khan…I’m just baffled.  Who would think that she’s irrelevant?  She’s basically a model for all popular female artists today.  Just last night, I was listening to a radio show that airs a segment called, “Battle of the Old School.”  The “battle” had Chaka Khan vs. Anita Baker vs. Whitney Houston.  Chaka lost the battle by a mere three or four points (Anita won).  I thought for sure she was gonna go home with the gold.

Saying Sheila E. is not relevant was pretty disrespectful to her as well as to Prince’s memory, considering how much she meant to him.  Madonna shouldn’t be catchin’ all the hell she’s getting (y’all should see some of the comments made about poor Madge), but truth be told, it’d be nice to see her and Sheila E. honoring Prince.  And yes, The Time and Chaka Khan should be there, too.  I wouldn’t even mind seeing Carmen Electra and Apollonia, or Sheena Easton, for that matter.  They all meant something in Prince’s life; something more than who’s popular right now, and who’s making the most bank.  Linda Perry ought to watch her words…someone could just as easily say the same thing about her.  Like I said, I respect her and her work, but truth be told, “What’s Up?” came out when I was an 11 year old girl contemplating life after elementary school.  I’m a 34 year old woman now.  Considering that her last (and arguably only) big hit was 23 years ago, does that make her irrelevant by her standards?

Prince - No

Think about that.

—Written by Nadiya

So what do y’all think about this situation?  Should Madonna do Prince’s tribute, or should it go to Sheila E. and the other artists he’s known for working with?  Do you think Linda Perry is wrong or do you agree with her?  Who would you like to see do a Prince tribute?  Give me your thoughts?

“Book of the Stranger” – Recap and Review

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If y’all missed this week’s episode of “Game of Thrones,” I highly suggest that you get your butt to HBO On Demand, HBO Go or HBO Now and start watchin’.  Also, this recap/review has some major spoilers, just like my other recaps/reviews, so if you haven’t seen the show yet, don’t read the rest of this until you do.  Otherwise, let’s get this party started, boo.

The Wall

As fate would have it, Jon hasn’t left Castle Black just yet; he’s still packing.  Edd (his buddy!  I finally found out his name!) tries to get him to stay, but Jon says that he can’t stay at The Wall after his own brothers killed him, and I can’t say I blame him.  Just then, guests arrive at the gates.  It’s Sansa, Podrick and Brienne!  Jon sees Sansa, and after staring at each other in complete shock, they run into each other’s arms and embrace.  That was so sweet.  Finally, two of the Stark children are reunited (and right after I ranted about them always just missing each other in my last post)!  Later that night, Sansa and Jon are having dinner and reminiscing on old times.  Sansa remembers what a spoiled brat she was and asks Jon to forgive her for being so horrible.  Jon tells her there’s nothing to forgive, but she insists, so he forgives her anyway.  Sansa asks where Jon will go now, but he makes it clear that he’s not going anywhere without her.  Sansa tells him the only place they can go is back to Winterfell.  Jon thinks that’s a crazy idea, considering that the Boltons have control of the place, but Sansa suggests fighting for it.  Sansa’s gettin’ a little bit bold, isn’t she?  Jon tells her he’s tired of fighting.  All he’s done is fight ever since he left Winterfell:  Wildlings, White Walkers, deserters, traitors…he’s tired.  Sansa lets him know that if they don’t take Winterfell back, they’ll never be safe.  Sansa really has come a long way from that spoiled little girl we met in the first season.

Ser Davos sees Melisandre outside and asks her if she’ll leave Castle Black.  She says she’ll do whatever Jon Snow commands.  Davos asks if she serves Jon now, and she tells him that he was the “prince that was promised.”  Oh, Lord.  Davos asks what happened with Stannis, and Melisandre walks off like, “Fuck Stannis.”  Yeah, fuck Stannis.  Davos asks her what happened with Stannis, and she lets him know his army was defeated.  Then Davos asks about Shireen.  Man, I couldn’t wait to hear her answer!  Unfortunately, Brienne interrupted the convo and tells them she saw what happened, but she only mentions that Stannis got his ass handed to him, and she killed him (good riddance).  She also mentioned that she still remembers how Renly was killed by Melisandre’s demon baby, and although it’s in the past, she won’t forgive that or forget it.  Melisandre, you might wanna get the hell out of Castle Black and the hell away from Brienne.

The Vale

Robyn Arryn has grown in size, but not in mentality or strength.  We see him trying to shoot an arrow at a stationary target and hitting the damn grass each time.  He’s worse than I was in 9th grade gym class!  While he’s “practicing,” who shows up?  None other than that damn Littlefinger!  He brings Robyn a doggone gyrfalcon or whatever, and that has the boy’s full attention.  It’s like giving me an LL Cool J picture when I was 15 years old.  Nothing or no one else matters after that.  A grey haired dude asks Littlefinger how and why Sansa ended up married to Ramsay Bolton when she was supposed to be heading to The Fingers with him.  Littlefinger tells a boldfaced lie about being surrounded by Bolton forces or some bullshit, and accuses the grey guy of giving away their position to the Boltons, since he was the only person that knew where they were going.  He then lets it be known that Robyn has the power to execute the guy for treason.  Littlefinger really is a dirty bastard.  Robyn, who’s still focusing on the doggone bird, suggests throwing the guy through the moon door, and asks his Uncle Peytr if it’s a good idea.  Thankfully, Littlefinger advises against it.  He lets Robyn know that Sansa escaped from Ramsey’s grasp, and young Robyn, being slow on the uptake, finally catches on that they should help her.  I can’t help but wonder what Littlefinger’s real objective is, because I know he has one.  I know his intention with Robyn is to make him his puppet, but what’s the deal with Sansa?  First he sells her to Ramsay, then he goes on a “rescue mission” for her?  WTF?

Meereen

Tyrion invites the slave masters from Astapor, Yunkai and Volantis to Meereen, and Grey Worm and Missandei are none too happy about it.  Tyrion lets them know that negotiations are in order to stop them from funding the Sons of the Harpy, but Grey Worm and Missandei don’t like the fact that they’re letting the enemy into the city.  Tyrion reminds them that he was a slave for about two days, and he knows the horrors of that situation.  Missandei reminds him that two days don’t mean shit.  Tyrion meets with the slave masters, and negotiates that slavery will never return to Meereen, but that in their respective cities, they end slavery in seven years time.  That way they have some transition time to find a new method of income.  He even brings in some hoes to satisfy them for good measure.  Once again, Grey Worm and Missandei are none too happy, and neither are the citizens of Meereen.  Grey Worm and Missandei chastise Tyrion for his politics, arguing that seven years is not a short time for a slave (very true).  Tyrion tells them that slavery is a horrible practice that should be abolished, but war is as well, and he can’t prevent both of them at the same time.  Grey Worm and Missandei still disagree with him, and let him know that he can’t trust the slave masters.  Tyrion tells them that he doesn’t trust the masters per se, but what he does trust is their arrogance and misgivings about them all.  Grey Worm and Missandei ain’t buyin’ it.  I can definitely see both points of view on this.  Grey Worm and Missandei were slaves all their lives, so I understand why they’re so against the idea of negotiating with the slave masters.  Tyrion, on the other hand, is very intelligent and good at reading people, as well as handling political matters, so he knows that a bit of diplomacy will go a long way.  With politics, it’s never gonna be 100% great for everyone involved.  Take Obamacare.  The folks that wanted it made sure that it had some groundbreaking features (lowered premiums for folks with low incomes), but I’m sure that the fools that were against it added some shit that irritates the hell out of people (those damn tax penalties).

Vaes Dothrak

Jorah and Daario finally arrive at Vaes Dothrak (took y’all long enough!), and they start having a pissing contest over who should hold Dany’s heart.  Sorry, I still have to say it should be Daario.  Jorah is too damn old for Dany (which is a point that Daario makes countless times during the pissing contest).  Jorah tells Daario that they’ll go to get Dany at nightfall, and instructs him to get rid of all his weapons, since it’s illegal to carry them into the sacred city.  Daario refuses to get rid of one of his knives, though.  When Jorah takes it, Daario notices the greyscale spreading up Jorah’s arm.  Jorah assures him that none of it touched Daario.  Daario asks Jorah if he knows what will eventually happen to him.  Jorah tells him he does.  When night falls, Daario and Jorah head into the city, posing as merchants.  Two Dothraki spot them and aren’t fooled by the ruse.  Daario manages to break one’s neck and he stabs the other one with his knife (how did he get it back?).  Jorah tells him that when the Dothraki see the man with a stab wound, they’ll scour the city looking for them.  Daario proceeds to bash the guy’s head in with a rock.  Ouch.

Dany is in the temple with the other Dosh Khaleens, being hated on by the older heffas because she’s a foreigner.  The head Dosh Khaleen tells Dany that the older women are idiots and the Dothraki have always had “diluted blood.”  She goes on to tell the story of a younger widowed Khaleesi in the group from Lhazareen that was married off when she was twelve.  The young girl gave the khal a daughter, and in return, he gave her a broken rib.  Dick.  Dany excuses herself to pee, and the Lhazareen Khaleesi goes with her to show her where the bathroom is, or the urine hole.  I know damn well there wasn’t a toilet or port-a-john out there.  They make small talk about how the old women stink all to be damned and Dany’s dragons when Daario and Jorah emerge from the shadows.  Daario holds his knife to the other Khaleesi’s throat, but Dany instructs him not to hurt her.  They try to get her to leave right then, but Dany lets them know that they’ll never get out of Vaes Dothrak alive if they do that.  She has a better plan, and she commands them to help her, and also asks the other Khaleesi not to betray her plans.  The other queen agrees.

King’s Landing

Margaery is still locked up, and Septa Unella (the psychotic nun) lets her out to speak to The High Sparrow.  He asks who Margaery would seek out if she were released, and she basically tells him that she’d go to her family.  He writes that off as her seeking out sin, since they have money and power, and he goes on to wax poetic about how he became saved and sanctified.  After the talk, he takes her to see her brother.  When Margaery sees him, he’s not in good shape at all.  He’s cowering and begging for the nightmare to end.  Margaery tries to get him to stay strong, but he can’t do it.  She tries to tell him that if they give in, The High Sparrow wins, but Loras still doesn’t care.  All he wants is for his suffering to end.  Margaery holds him in her arms and reluctantly agrees.

Back at the Red Keep, Pycelle is talking with Tommen when Cersei walks in.  Cersei demands to know what Pycelle is doing, and ol’ boy actually shows a bit of backbone and tells her straight up that he’s advising the king.  Cersei demands that he leave, and Pycelle stays put until Tommen dismisses him.  Before Pycelle leaves, he and Cersei exchange a look.  Seems to me that Pycelle is finally tired of Cersei’s abuse.  Tommen tries to convince Cersei not to antagonize The High Sparrow, but she won’t hear of it.  Tommen then confides in Cersei that Margaery is going to make her own Walk of Atonement.  Cersei and Jaime run up in the small council meeting again, wanting to be heard.  Granny Tyrell and Uncle Kevan are about to walk out on her ass again, but this time, Cersei has the upper hand when she lets them know that Margaery is going to be the one walking down the streets naked this time.  Jaime suggests that Granny Tyrell use her army to storm The Sept and get Margaery out, since Tommen ordered the Kingsguard to stand down.  Oleanna agrees to this, but Kevan is still unsure about the idea.  Cersei reminds him that Lancel has been brainwashed by The High Sparrow as well, and asks if he wants he son back.  Kevan admits he does, and goes along with the plan.  Cersei learned an important lesson this episode:  if you stop talking about yourself all the damn time, and at least appear to care about someone else, and you’ll actually get shit done.

The Wack Ass Iron Islands, Where PTSD Victims Can Go Straight to Hell!

Theon returns to the Iron Islands.  *Sigh*  When he sees Yara again, she immediately chastises him for betraying her men and causing their deaths.  Theon apologizes and tries to explain—with tears streaming down his face, no less—that Ramsay broke him into a thousand pieces.  Yara continues to be cold to Theon and tells him that she knew Ramsay broke him into a thousand pieces.  She and her father actually received one of his pieces.  She accuses him of coming back just to seize the Salt Throne, but Theon lets her know that he came back to help her take it.  This scene got on my last nerve.  Yara actually blamed Theon for being too traumatized to escape with the Ironborn.  The man was physically tortured, psychologically tortured, had his penis severed from his body, and was forced to sleep in the kennels with the dogs.  Yara, on the other hand, had shields, swords and God know what other weapons to fight off those dogs, but the minute Ramsay siced them on her, she ran with her tail between her legs (pun slightly intended).  Yeah, blame Theon.

Winterfell

Ramsay has Osha sent to him and starts asking her if he knows who he is.  Osha, who’s unimpressed, replies that he’s a lord.  Ramsay goes on to ask if she saw his banner with the flayed man symbol, and Osha asks if he eats the men when he’s done.  Ramsay lets her know that he hasn’t quite reached that level of crazy yet.  “Then I’ve seen worse,” Osha tells him.  Burn!  Well, not really.  Ramsay’s crazy ass actually liked that shit.  He asks about Osha’s time with the Starks, and she tells them she only served them because she was forced to do so, and she only continued protecting Rickon because he may have brought her a good price if she sold him.  Ramsay lets her know that Rickon is no longer hers to sell, and Osha proceeds to seduce him…all while trying to reach the knife the fool was using for his dinner.  Osha reaches it the second Ramsay tells her that Theon mentioned how Osha helped Bran and Rickon escape previously.  Before she can use the knife against Ramsay, he quickly stabs her in the neck with the knife he was using to cut an apple.  Osha dies on the floor, as Ramsay watches.  Afterwards, he wipes the blood off the knife and continues eating the doggone apple.  Damn.  Rest in peace, Osha.

Back to The Wall!

Sansa, Jon and everyone else is at the dinner table eating…something.  Jon’s tearin’ his whatever up, while Sansa is trying to figure out what the hell it is.  Brienne just watches everyone else eating like they’ve never seen food before, and Tormund is watching her like he wants to hit that…badly.  I swear I lost my junk when I saw that.  What made it even funnier is that Edd looks at the two of them like, “Okaaaay…”  A message is delivered to the Lord Commander (Jon).  Jon lets him know that he’s not the Lord Commander anymore, but the messenger just stands there with the letter extended towards him.  Resigned, Jon takes it and reads it.  The letter is from Ramsay’s crazy ass, who lets Jon know that he has Rickon, and he wants Sansa back.  If Sansa isn’t returned, Ramsay promises to kill all the Wildlings, have his soldiers gang rape Sansa, sic the dogs on Rickon and later sic the dogs on Jon too, but not before gouging his eyes out.  This guy makes Hannibal Lector look balanced.  Jon asks how many people Ramsay has in his army, and Sansa tells him that he has about 5,000.  He then asks Tormund how many Wildlings are available, and he tells him they only have about 2,000.  Dammit.  Jon is still reluctant to fight, but Sansa reminds him that their little brother is in grave danger.  They need to save him and take their house back.  Jon agrees.  Sansa has a little bit of Arya in her after all.

Vaes Dothrak…You In Danger, Girl

It’s the big night of Dany’s “trial.”  First, the khals discuss the dude that got his head bashed in with a rock.  The discussion basically ends with “fuck that guy” and they call Dany in to decide her fate.  The khal that captured her recommends that she become a Dosh Khaleen, but the others are hellbent on raping her.  Dany asks them if any of them care what she thinks.  Of course, they tell her they don’t, never mind the fact that they’re deciding her future.  Dany goes on to talk about her time with Khal Drogo, and how the Dosh Khaleen predicted that her son would mount the world, and how Drogo promised to cross the Dothraki Sea and conquer the seven kingdoms.  The khals continue to disrespect her, like morons.  Dany points out that while Khal Drogo made serious plans, all they talk about is how many women they can rape and how many horses they can steal.  She tells them they’re not worthy of leading the Dothraki…but she is.  The khal that captured her tells her she won’t be a Dosh Khaleen, but their personal plaything to rape, and if there’s anything left, she’ll be thrown to the bloodriders and later to the horses so they can have their way with her.  He goes on to say that they would never serve her.  Dany lets them know that they won’t be serving her…they’re going to die.  Before they can say anything else, Dany starts throwing down the fire lamps, and the flames immediately spread towards the khals.  It’s almost as if the temple were doused in gasoline.  The khals try to get out, but the door’s been barred, and the guards outside are dead.  I’m sure that was Jorah and Daario’s doing.  Dany knocks down one last lamp, and light ’em up, flame on!  The khals are gone!  All the other Dothraki people see the temple in flames.  As they run to it and watch the temple burn, they see Dany emerge.  Her clothes are burned off, but she’s completely unscathed.  They all kneel to her in reverence.  That’s right, bow down, bitches.  Now Dany has control of the Unsullied and the entire Dothraki.  That’s boss.

I was waiting for something BIG to happen, and something BIG did happen.  Jon and Sansa are reunited, and Sansa’s ain’t playin’ any games.  I love how she was the one that had to be strong for Jon, and not the other way around.  Sometime women can uplift the men.  I really felt for Tyrion.  As an African-American woman, I’m sickened by the thought of slavery as well, so I definitely got where Grey Worm and Missandei were coming from.  Tyrion, on the other hand, had to take the best action that would placate the evil ass slave owners, and he got torn a new butthole for it.  He just can’t fit in anywhere.  I can’t wait to see how Theon will help Yara get the Salt Throne.  That’s going to be interesting.  I just hope she can get her head out of her ass long enough to see that he’s traumatized and only wanted to come home to find some peace.  That Dany scene was fire (pun intended)!  I’m really excited to see what she does with the Dothraki and the Unsullied!  By season seven, she should be sailin’ to Westeros (let’s hope)!  Needless to say, I really enjoyed this episode.  Stay tuned to see what happens next week!

—Written by Nadiya

So what did y’all think about “Book of the Stranger”?  Was it one of the best episodes of the season, or was it hot garbage?  What do y’all think about Tyrion’s dilemma?  Was he right or wrong for allowing slavery to go on for another seven years?  Did you shed a tear when Jon and Sansa saw each other again?  What do you think about Tormund and Brienne?  Y’all wanna see that happen or what?  Is Yara being an insensitive bitch to Theon, or is her attitude justified?  Lastly, what do y’all think about Dany burnin’ the hell out of those khals, and do you think she’s rallied enough folks behind her to take the Iron Throne?  Give me your thoughts!

 

 

“Best Laid Schemes…” – Recap and Review

Outlander Season 2 2016

This last episode starts off with Jamie still brooding over not being able kill Black Jack.  Murtagh, on the other hand, is still gung ho over the now cancelled duel.  He’s settin’ up times for Jamie to practice his swordfighting and what have you, so y’all can imagine how disappointed he is when Jamie tells him that the duel’s been called off.  Murtagh actually tells Jamie that he changes his mind like a woman with PMS.  Ouch.

Claire is at the hospital, when the dude that’s a doctor by day and an executioner by night (or afternoon…whatever), goes into detail that we never asked for about hanging, drawing and quartering a poor soul later that day.  Claire is obviously sick to her stomach, and the executioner/doctor tells her she should see Master Raymond (the apothecary!  I finally found out his name!).  Claire takes this as a threat and goes to Master Raymond, warning him to leave the city.  At first, Raymond blows the threat off, saying that Louis’ great-grandfather went after various folks in France that were involved in the “dark arts,” but all the accused were later released.  Claire lets Raymond know that unlike his great-grandad, Louis’ ain’t playin’.  Raymond thanks Claire for being a good friend and resigns himself to leave town.  I’m not convinced he’s really gonna leave, personally.

Later that night, Jamie is rubbing Claire’s feet, so it looks like they’ve made up…kind of.  Jamie’s still a bit distant.  He brings up what’s been bothering him:  Claire says that he owes her a life for saving his, but he’s saved her life multiple times and they should be even.  He also brings up that he doesn’t owe Frank anything; Claire had to choose between the two of them and she chose him, not Frank.  Claire asks why Jamie promised to save Frank, and he lets her know that the Stuart Rebellion will probably go on no matter what they do, and he’ll probably be a casualty.  Jamie makes Claire promise to go back through the stones and back to Frank if that happens.  Claire is horrified at the thought of losing Jamie, but she promises.  Well, now we know why she returned.

The next day, Claire uses Jamie as a guinea pig for her smallpox ruse (remember last week, she said she could make a concoction to make it appear like TFF’s men had smallpox so the wine they’re shipping off could be destroyed).  All the stuff she makes Jamie drink, mixes up and puts on his skin works perfectly, but Murtagh could care less.  He’s still pissed about the duel.  Jamie lets Claire know that it’s time to tell Murtagh the truth, and he meets Murtagh outside to do just that.  Once Murtagh finds out, he gives Jamie a swift punch in the face for not telling him sooner “[that Claire] was a witch” (Jamie, stop telling folks Claire is a witch!).  Classic Murtagh.  Jamie and Fergus ride off later to put the plan into action.  Claire approaches Murtagh in the house, while he’s literally writing down all the years she’s been alive (all the years in the 20th century).  He asks if she knows what happens in the Jacobite Rebllion, and she lets him know that she does, and that it doesn’t end well.  Murtagh asks if she knows when people will die, and Claire lets him know that she doesn’t know when any of them will die, personally.  Murtagh, in a rare show of sweetness and empathy, lets her know that he wouldn’t want to bear her burden of knowing the things she does know.

Meanwhile, Jamie and Fergus reach St. Germain’s warehouse, where they poison the wine and put that stuff all over the mens’ jackets to break their skin out.  Later, Jamie meets the prince and TFF at that damn whorehouse.  Crazy ass Charles lets Jamie know that a “mysterious illness” has broken out amongst TFF’s men.  Jamie throws shade and asks if the disease was contagious.  Charles tells him that they’re not sure, and lets him know that he wants Jamie to deliver that wine by foot.  I tell you what…that damn Charles might be crazy, but he’s not as idiotic as we all thought.  He’s thrown a monkey wrench in Jamie and Claire’s plans every week.  They find a way for him to lose his financial backers, he finds another backer.  They try to embarrass him publicly by allowing his lover to announce her pregnancy, he takes it in stride.  They try to talk the Minister of Finance out of funding the rebellion, Charles promises him a French/British alliance.  The man’s not exactly dumb.  Jamie has no choice but to agree to deliver the wine, when TFF nastily tells him he’ll accompany him on the way.

Plan B:  Jamie and Claire decide to stage an ambush en route to deliver the wine, only the “thieves” will be Murtagh and some other dudes dressed in fancy clothes to look like Les Disciples.  Murtagh hates the outfit, by the way.  Claire is nervous about the mission, saying that bad things happen whenever they’re apart (this is true!).  Jamie tells her not to worry, and later that night, they make luuurrrrve (but they don’t show the sex scene.  Sorry).  That next night, Jamie goes with TFF to deliver the wine, while Claire sits through unbearable gossip with Louise and the other cackling hens of Paris.  Jamie and TFF get ambushed as scheduled, and Murtagh even does one better by pretending to try to shoot St. Germain.  Jamie pushes him out the way and Murtagh knocks him out.  They ride off with all the wine, leaving Jamie on the ground and TFF pissed off.

Claire is still listening to the ladies gossip, looking as if she’s about to die when she asks them what could be done about the destitute people in the city.  She mentions that she saw a mother and her baby dead in the city streets the other day.  The ladies appear concerned, but their true colors are soon revealed when Louise says that she’ll speak to someone about moving the poor to a less desirable part of the city where they don’t have to be seen.  Claire is disgusted and leaves them high and dry.  She goes to the hospital to do some more volunteer work, but since she’s about eight months preggo, she starts to get a little worn down.  Mother Hildegarde makes her lie down, and she notices some blood on Claire’s stocking.  She tells Claire that it’s normal for women to bleed a little during pregnancy, and not to worry about it.  However, Mother Hildegarde makes her stay there for the rest of the night, just to be on the safe side.  Jamie and St. Germain meet with crazy ass Charles to tell him the bad news about the wine.  For the first time, Charles doesn’t have a backup plan, and that bitch TFF still blames Jamie for what happened.  I mean, Jamie is to blame, but…aw, hell.  I just don’t like his ass.

Jamie comes back and notices Claire is gone.  Fergus tells him she’s at the hospital resting and that she’ll be back soon.  They sit down to have breakfast when one of the servants lets Jamie know that the prince lost his damn mind at the whorehouse and needs some assistance paying the bill he ran up.  Jamie goes up there with Fergus.  Once they get here, Jamie tells Fergus to stay put while he talks to the head pimp, or whoever, but being a typical hardheaded child, Fergus walks off.  He goes into a room that has a British officer’s jacket hanging up near the bed…as he’s stealing some of the things off a table, the officer walks back into the room and shuts the door…

Claire returns and finds out that Jamie got into a fight with an English officer at the whorehouse.  He’s now in the woods…fighting a duel.  He left a note for Claire that reads, “I am sorry.  I must.”  Claire rushes out of the house and has the butler take her to the woods.  She appears to be in distress the entire way there.  When she gets to the woods, she sees Jamie and Black Jack fighting each other.  Now she’s so weak and in pain, she can barely stand up.  She watches in horror as Jamie and Black Jack fight, knowing that she’s going to lose either Jamie or Frank in the end.  Eventually, Jamie gets the upper hand and stabs Black Jack in the junk!  Yeeaaah, boyeeee!  I just wish that Jamie had gone full Lorena Bobbitt on his ass! By this time, Claire is bleeding all over herself, and is hunched over in pain.  The butler comes over to see about her, and she instructs him to take her to Mother Hildegarde.  Then the cops come and arrest Jamie for dueling.  Claire cries out for Jamie, who finally notices her in the woods.  He cries out to her as the gen d’armes surround him, and Claire weakly calls out his name one more time before passing out.  Black Jack passes out from his wound, too.  Ass.

Like the week before, this episode was slightly dull until midway through.  The excitement doesn’t really get started until Claire and Jamie really put their plan into action, and of course, the ending left me at the edge of my seat.  I just wish the show could’ve started off as fantastic as it ended.  So far this season, there’s only been one episode that was great from start to finish.  I shouldn’t complain, though.  At least it wasn’t completely dull like “Useful Occupations and Deceptions” (episode three).  God, that was awful.  Now that Black Jack has been castrated (sort of), I have a little theory about Frank’s fate.  Considering that this is the 18th century, and that he was stabbed in the balls, Black Jack’s chances of having kids is pretty much nil.  However, Claire didn’t immediately disappear from the 1700’s once he got stabbed (see my review about dull behind episode three for further nerdy explanation on the space time continuum), meaning that it’s possible that Frank may actually be a descendant of Alex Randall, not Black Jack Randall.  Maybe something happens to Alex, and Mary, not wanting to raise a child alone, marries Black Jack (poor child).  I’m thinking that’s what may have happened, considering that Frank is still alive and well in the 1940’s.  I can’t wait for next week’s episode.  It looks like the outcome with the baby isn’t good, and Claire’s pissed at Jamie for breaking his promise, but I’m really anxious to find out what that damn Black Jack did to Fergus in that room.  For Jamie to get pissed off enough to break his word, it had to be horrendous.  Be sure to tune in!

—Written by Nadiya

So what did y’all think about “Best Laid Schemes…”?  Was it phenomenal from start to finish, exciting only after it got midway through, or just plain dull from the time it came on till the time it went off?  What do you think happened to Fergus in the room?  Do you think Black Jack is incapable of having children now?  Also, do you think Prince Charles will have a comeback from this setback?  Give me your thoughts!